13. Angels are assholes. #2
It took Quinn six minutes to reach the Plaza, and the instant I got out of his car, he tossed me over his shoulder, secured a hold on my legs, and carried me inside. The valet did his best but ultimately laughed his head off. Quinn strutted into the lobby, whistling a happy little tune.
I snatched handfuls of Quinn’s shirt so I wouldn’t succumb to the temptation to grab something enticing but rather inappropriate. I added groping to my list of things I wouldn’t do until we reached our room.
“Chief Quinn. Your room is ready. Your other requests should be prepared within the next twenty minutes.”
I peeked around Quinn’s side. The man behind the large desk smiled; good hotels always had smiling employees, even when one of the guests was spreading pink, glittery dust all over the marble floor.
“Excellent. Thank you. Hey, Bailey? Grab my wallet, would you?”
It wasn’t inappropriate if he asked me to do it, right? I didn’t need to be asked twice. I slid my hand into his back pocket to retrieve his wallet. Maybe I shouldn’t have squeezed him in the process, but if he wanted a miracle, he needed to ask an angel. I slipped his wallet into his hand. “Here.”
At the front doors, the busboy and the second valet were laughing so hard I was worried there’d be bodies. With my luck, they were taking pictures, so I smiled and waved. Maybe the real miracle was my restraint.
I didn’t leave a pink handprint on Quinn’s ass.
Quinn carried me to the elevator and waited until we were in our room to put me down. The first thing to go would be his shirt. I almost had him out of it when his phone rang.
“Break it,” I suggested, contemplating tearing off the stubborn button thwarting me. “Violently.”
Instead of obeying, he answered, “Chief Quinn speaking.” There was a short pause, then he chuckled.
“No. I decided I wasn’t up for her shit tonight, so I ran away.
I meant to call in I wasn’t going home.” After another pause, Quinn laughed again.
“Huh. I suppose you could classify it as a kidnapping. Hey, Gardener. It’s apparently kidnapping if I take people wherever I want. You okay with being kidnapped?”
How was I supposed to get him naked without the caller learning I intended to drag the police chief to bed and keep him there?
“I beat the shit out of a male gorgon today. You don’t stand a chance, Mr. Police Chief.
Tell them I kidnapped you. That should confuse them.
Hey. Where are your handcuffs? I better make it look real.
I guess if I stuffed you under the bed, housecleaning would eventually find you, huh? Pity.”
I started patting him down, taking everything out of his pockets in search of his handcuffs. With handcuffs, I had limitless options on what I could do with Quinn.
Why were his handcuffs stuffed down his pants, anyway?
Quinn smirked. “Did you hear that? Good. Since Audrey’s brother did try to kill her, call in someone to check over my house, and ask the CDC if they’d send an investigator as a personal favor to me—I’ll pay their fee out of pocket.
If the rep can be an incubus who hasn’t gotten laid for a very, very long time, even better.
I wouldn’t mind if she was kept busy for a few months.
What? I can’t request an incubus? That’s not fair. How about a succubus?”
I could hear someone laughing on the other end of the line, and I worried he would choke to death if he didn’t stop soon.
“You really don’t have to laugh that hard.”
If I broke the phone, would he forgive me? “Quinn, stop playing with the phone.”
He ignored me. “I’m hiding at the Plaza.
The angels finally let Bailey out of the bar.
When she found out Audrey was at my place, she started screaming something about that woman getting between her, a bath, and some sleep, there would be bodies.
I was concerned my body might be one of them.
Since she was primed to kill my ex-wife, I thought a hotel might be a wise decision. She—”
I’d have to dig the handcuffs out of his pants later. Yanking the phone out of Quinn’s hand, I said, “Hello? Hi. Please don’t listen to him. He’s so tired he has no idea what he’s talking about. He’s going to bed.”
With me. All night long.
With the phone against my ear, I recognized Perky’s strangled laughter. “Oh. It’s Perky. Hey, Perky.”
“Hey yourself, Gardener. Last news on the wire was you went and got yourself killed by a pair of angels.”
“Only a little bit. Chief Quinn really needs to get some sleep.”
With me. Now. All night long.
“You don’t seem very dead to me. Not even a little bit. The chief was pretty cranky you’d gone and gotten yourself killed.”
“It was only a little bit!”
“Do we need to rescue you? Because honestly, the thought of you two sharing the same house has us worried. The same hotel room…”
“If I kill Chief Quinn, I promise you’ll be the first person I call.”
Quinn grinned at me. When someone knocked at the door, he headed across the room, buttoning his shirt back up and making himself as presentable as he could with pink handprints all over him.
Maybe it would have been a little awkward if I’d already gotten him to bed. Had calling in advance for room service really been necessary? I scowled.
Perky chuckled. “That’s considerate of you.”
“Not to be rude, Perky, but a gorgon wanted to use me as breeding stock, and he didn’t want to take no for an answer. Reverse cowgirl bitch is at Chief Quinn’s house and came between me, a bath, and some sleep.”
With Quinn. While that part was extremely important, Perky didn’t need to know my plans for the rest of the night. “If anyone else delays me, I will make what I did to the gorgon look polite in comparison.”
I learned a very important lesson: men could laugh so hard they cried.
“I’m so sorry that happened, Gardener. You were magnificent.
The ladies at the station adore you. The asshole deserved the pummeling.
That said, you need to take self-defense courses.
Amanda teaches one on Monday and Thursday nights.
I may have enrolled you. Get some sleep and have a good night.
” Perky hung up. I stared at Quinn’s phone for a long moment before setting it aside.
Quinn set two covered dishes on the room’s table. “Now that dinner has arrived, I think you should pick up where you left off. I seem to have undone your hard work. Unless you want to eat dinner first?”
“Screw dinner.” I pounced. If he wanted a shirt with all of its buttons intact, he shouldn’t have put it back on.
“Excellent.”
At some point, Quinn got out of bed long enough to call housekeeping and hand over our abused and battered clothes so they could be saved or replaced. His request amused the hotel employee, who promised to take care of everything.
I wanted him to come back to bed and feed me more morsels of steak and potatoes. “Come back to bed, Quinn.”
“Are you sure you’re not part succubus?”
“No, but I’m thinking you’re possibly an incubus in disguise. Come back to bed. Please?”
He laughed. “It’s seven in the morning, Bailey. Aren’t you tired yet?”
“No.” I patted the pillow beside me. “You still have to feed me the rest of my dinner.”
“It’s seven in the morning.”
“Breakfast, then. Feed me. I’m hungry.”
“And whose fault is that?”
“Yours, obviously.”
Quinn slid under the covers, pulled me close, and held me.
“And you thought I was crazy for reserving two nights. It’s ten minutes to work if traffic cooperates.
That means we have extra time together. It was careful planning.
I think I’ll have a cruiser pick us up when it’s time to go in. That’ll save at least five minutes.”
“What time do you need to be at work?”
“If we go to sleep now, we’ll get a few hours.”
I wrinkled my nose, wiggled free, and sat up so I could finish my dinner. “So I guess we really should get some sleep, then.”
“Probably wise. Feeling better now?”
“Yes. I’m not sure if I should hunt down those angels and that incubus and hit them or thank them.”
“I’m feeling pretty thankful right now.”
Quinn’s phone rang, and I grabbed it first. If they wanted him, they needed to go through me. The police chief frowned at me, and I flipped him my middle finger before I answered, “Chief Quinn is asleep right now. Do I need to wake him?”
Some lies were so worth telling. Quinn shook his head and rolled his eyes.
“Yes, please,” a woman replied. Maybe the mysterious self-defense teaching Amanda?
“One moment, please, Officer…?”
“Hitchenson. Amanda Hitchenson. Good work with that gorgon yesterday, Miss Gardener.”
“Thank you. Perky told me he was enrolling me in your class?” I gave Quinn a kick, and the police chief grunted. “Quinn, your phone was ringing. I answered it for you. There’s a nice lady named Officer Hitchenson wanting to speak with you.”
He groaned and reached for his phone. “Thanks, Gardener. I’m awake, Amanda. What’s wrong?”
After several moments, Quinn’s eyes widened. “She’s a what? No, no. I heard you the first time. Okay. Did you find out why? When? I don’t really care how.”
The silence stretched on, and Quinn rubbed his temple with his free hand while listening to Amanda. When he finally hung up after a few incredulous words and a strained goodbye, he threw his phone across the room. It bounced off the bathroom door and splashed into the toilet.
“Wow. Nice aim. You’re going to need a new phone there, Chief.” Hoping to rescue the device, I scrambled out of bed and peered into the toilet bowl. The phone’s display was dark and cracked. “You killed it.”
“My deranged ex-wife decided to snort gorgon dust, became one, and is, and I quote, ‘She’s looking to breed and picked Gardener to be the mother.’ She petrified three police officers and was recorded making a promise you would like making babies with her.
It doesn’t appear the officers contracted the gorgon virus, fortunately. ”
I returned to the bedroom and gaped at Quinn. “Excuse me. What?”
“My ex-wife wants to have babies with my girlfriend.”