10. I’m not giving this crap to you again. #4
“I’m okay with telling a god he picked a shit drug and to give you a different prescription.
I can also send you some reference materials for meditations and other methods that can help prevent you needing to take it as often.
If your separation anxiety worsens, we can meet up for a temporary visit before we run away again. ”
“Why aren’t you a medical doctor?”
“Too many restraints, not enough flexibility to research. Rules suck. I like the research I can do without needing a bunch of annoying sentients complaining they’re test subjects.
Also, most patients suck, and the last time I had to do a medical evaluation for some random idiot, telling them their diet was shit and that they’re the reason they’re sick didn’t go over well.
It didn’t matter I was right on my evaluation.
That said, some hospitals will call me in for help on weird cases. ”
“I’m afraid to ask what classifies as weird to you.”
“There was an infant with Hutchinson-Gilford progeria. That’s a scary one, but really rare.
It’s accelerated aging. The doctors couldn’t figure it out, but they knew there was something seriously wrong shortly after birth.
With progeria, you need to act quick even with magic helping.
Took me two labs and three days with the poor baby to figure it out.
Usually, babies with the syndrome show signs after a year old, not so soon after birth.
She’s doing okay. Not great, but okay. She’ll die in her thirties, but it beats the initial prognosis.
Before, she would’ve died of old age by thirteen. ”
“That poor kid. Still, it amazes me sometimes. I look at you, and I don’t really think you’re a mad scientist. You look normal. But you go into your basement and change the world. Or other doctors contact you because they’re stumped and you’re amazing at finding obscure things.”
“Don’t respect me too much, Chief Samuel Quinn. I have your wife, and I’m out to corrupt her.”
I laughed. “Just try to keep your corruptions manageable. If you could get her to ask for more things, that would be nice.”
“Now you’re just asking for a miracle.”
“I really am. Still, thank you for keeping an eye on her. If you need anything at all, let me know.”
“Hey, I have a question for you.”
“Yes?”
“A truck and one of those nice camper trailer things to go with it? Yay or nay?”
“Yay, keep the trailer below twenty-two feet and make sure the engine in the truck can handle it. With the truck, I want performance and longevity. The bigger the better. I can give you the bank wire details or call the dealership myself. Your husband helped me translate her request to mean she wants a trip to the dealership to purchase a truck.”
“Brand?”
“Whatever Bailey sees and falls in love with that has good performance and longevity. If you call in the order to a Las Vegas dealership, it can be ready for pickup by the time you arrive.”
“How about New Mexico and we pick it up on the way there? It’ll take us a few days to get there with her sick.
I’m going to take her to some touristy things, maybe take her to a zoo to have a checkup done on her ocelot, and otherwise take it easy.
She wants to find the source of the rabies, but her magic failed last night. ”
Uh oh. “Failed?”
“I think she was too tired to get a trail started. I’m going to delay her from trying again for three days just to be safe.”
“Keep me in the loop,” I ordered.
“Let me know what the twins say. It’s time for me to feed her some more soup, make sure the pets are okay, and check her temperature. Text me with updates.”
“Will do. Drive safe, and thanks.” I hung up. “Perkins? I can’t tell if your wife is a devil or an angel.”
“A bit of both, really. Why?”
“She’s on a mission to corrupt my wife, who is sick enough Tiffany felt a need to call me and tell me she’d let me know if it got really serious, but was interested in knowing what the twins have to say about Bailey’s condition.”
Perkins sighed. “All right. And?”
“I need a different prescription for a chill pill, but she’ll take care of it, apparently.”
“Yeah. She’s good at that. She’d make a damned good doctor if being a doctor didn’t annoy the hell out of her.”
“Not everyone can be a good doctor, and really, she’s a better mad scientist, I think. She gets the groundwork on some good breakthroughs in motion, dumps it on the lap of someone ambitious enough to want the credit and the fame, and quietly gloats when she’s right.”
Perkins chuckled. “And most of the scientists give her credit for the groundwork, too. It’s only polite.”
“Then she not-so-quietly gloats, but I can’t really blame her for that.
It works. Although, if she does anything weird to Bailey in her basement lab, I make no promises the lab will survive.
Also, how did you even afford a lab? I’ve seen the bills we’ve gotten for basic medical equipment for the forensics guys. That stuff is not cheap.”
“I stopped asking, Sam. I’m worried she might have robbed an actual bank for it, and some things I just don’t want to know about. That’s one of them.”
I couldn’t blame him for that. “All right. You give Dowry a call and inquire about Janet and a possible transfer, I’ll get on the phone with the twins, and then we’ll hit the road.”