CHAPTER FOURTEEN
QUINN
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Waking, wrapped in Noah’s arms, was not how I saw this training going. Even though I felt disloyal to Mark and knew what I was doing was wrong—my military career and reputation are at stake—I still let him slide between my legs and make me come.
And, oh God, did he.
Every single millisecond is etched into my memory. I’ve never felt so sensitive, aroused, horny or come so hard in my damn life.
Noah seemed to know exactly how and when to touch me. How soft, how much force—everything!
And he didn’t let up.
I’m ruined.
I knew he’d ruin me for any other man. The first time I kissed him, I knew that.
This man knows how to pleasure a woman, and while the thought of him with anyone else makes me want to reach for my gun, I remember that his attention was all on me last night.
Lord, when he took charge and spread my legs, I couldn’t say no. My arguments vanished, and so did all my brain cells. I couldn’t remember a single reason why this huge, gorgeous man shouldn’t be licking me toward the best orgasm of my life.
If he did it every day for the next fifty years, or more, of my life, it would never be enough.
Goddamn it. Mark.
I need to end things. I might not be in love with the accountant, but cheating is wrong.
Do I wait until I’m home or call him?
He hardly pays attention when I’m on the phone with him, anyway. Texting seems cold, but if he doesn’t answer my calls, then I’ll do that. Either way, I need to just do it.
I breathe in Noah’s scent wrapped around me like the softest blanket and wait for guilt to plague me. It doesn’t. Noah has always felt like home. Like he and I exist on our own island where nothing and no one can penetrate what we are together.
Except they do.
Because of others’ judgement of me as a soldier, I cannot be with Noah.
Tyrell being here is a reminder of what’s at stake, and while I was pissed when I saw him arrive, his presence will stop me from making any mistakes.
Oh yeah, how did that work out last night?
Shit.
I wish Noah could understand my position. I know I have hurt him in the past; I saw it in his eyes that last night in Texas.
Does he know I went home that night and cried until dawn?
Does he know I’ve questioned my choices every day and still do?
I can’t tell him. The damn alpha male will take that information and manipulate me into confessing how I feel about him.
It won’t change anything.
He’ll never understand the way it feels to have everything you’ve worked for and achieved questioned because you’re a female...a female who’s highly attractive and accused of sleeping her way to her next promotion.
Noah never went easy on me while making sure I admitted that the men I went to battle with were stronger and better suited to certain tasks. He was concerned.
“Sir, I’m not stupid. I simply want to be treated equally.” I’d argued in the early days.
“You are. But my job is to train all of you to stay alive while protecting our nation. Sending you into battle with an ego and attitude will get you and others killed.”
“It’s not an ego. Sir.”
“You’re defensive, Quinn.”
I’d zipped my lips because he was right, and I knew it.
“I hear the rumors. I’m not ignorant of what others say.
” Captain Jenkins had crossed his arms after referring to the gossip circulating about my relationship with him.
I’d done extra hours and work, and it had bitten me in the ass.
“If you want this next promotion, you’re going to have to prove to me that you accept and have a full understanding of your strengths and weaknesses.
Not as an individual, but as part of a platoon. ”
I cursed quietly.
“Dismissed.”
That’s one thing the military got right; they empower women, but they don’t sugarcoat things. Not if it could cost a life, or lives.
I respect that.
I wriggle without thinking and hear a sexy growl behind me.
“Sweetheart, that bottom of yours is about to get impaled if you keep doing that.” Noah’s voice is rough.
I blush and let out a groan.
“And that.”
Twisting in his arms as he loosens them, I look into his beautiful brown eyes and lie once more. “Gross.”
“Good morning to you, too, gorgeous girl.”
“I didn’t mean your face,” I clarify because my folks taught me not to be rude.
“I didn’t mean yours. I was talking to your tits.” He smirks.
Rolling my eyes, I take in his unshaven jaw and wish I could be with this man for real. “Why are you here?”
I secretly wish he’d rip my clothes off and finish what he started last night. But because that’s not ideal, bantering and arguing with him has always been safer.
Except when he gets all alpha and spreads my legs like he did last night. God, I liked it...way too much. So much that I let him cuddle me and then dozed off into post-orgasmic bliss.
I can’t fall asleep with Mark and yet here I am on top of the covers having used Noah as my duvet for the night.
“I’m here because you fell asleep in my arms after coming in my mouth, sweetheart. And when I went to move you growled like an angry bear until I moved back in position,” Noah says, and I scoff.
“I doubt that.”
I probably did.
“Shall we ring Mark and ask him how you sleep in his arms?”
I half sit up in panic, hoping he’s joking.
Noah grins, lets out a yawn and rolls onto his back.
“Mark isn’t...” Shit, I’m not awake enough to form a good argument yet. “Part of this.”
“Correct. Break up with him. Marry me.”
I gasp.
What did he just say?
With a flash, Noah lifts up, kisses my mouth with a sexy force that takes my breath away and then climbs off the bed.
“Get showered, dressed, and I’ll see you down in Section D at eight. Today is the Live Fire Movement and Maneuver training,” he says as if he didn’t just demand I marry him and kiss me like that.
“Stop kissing me.” I touch my fingers to my mouth.
My heart is beating so hard I think it might explode.
“Stop looking at me like you want me to fuck you and spend the rest of your life with me.”
He’s insane.
“I am not doing that.”
His brows lift.
“Look, you’re a good-looking man. That’s all. It’s chemistry. Biology. Science. And I’m not marrying you, Noah, so don’t ask me things like that.”
He crouches and ties his boots, glancing up with a grin. Then he stalks back over, plants his fists on the bed, and leans over me.
“I didn’t ask you. But when I do, Quinn Parker, you will say yes.” His voice is sexy and full of gravel, making me shudder.
I force out a snort, showing how doubtful that is. But then a completely uninvited picture forms inside my head of Noah on one knee proposing.
As if he knows, Noah chuckles, winks at me, then leaves the room.
I flop back down on the bed and let out a groan.
What am I going to do?
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MARLENE AND I make our way to Section D at the appointed time, ready for a big day ahead. Today’s training is focused on our marksmanship and upskilling our tactical skills in the event of an ambush.
I have my hair off my face, a bandana making sure it doesn’t get in the way, and a pair of shorts and an Army khaki T-shirt on.
She’s in a similar outfit minus the bandana.
“Impressive,” I say, lifting my sunglasses as I take in the range.
“This is what I’ve been looking forward to.” Marlene rubs her hands together, eager to get started.
I glance at my bandaged hand. Normally I’d have ripped it off, but given we’re training, I want to protect the small wound from infection and keep it from slowing me down.
“Did Noah or Josh say anything about that?” Marlene glances at my hand.
“Ah, no, I...” I remind myself that I wouldn’t have seen Noah if he hadn’t shown up at my room last night, so I can’t repeat what he said about the cartel. Plus, I promised not to repeat what he told me. “Haven’t talked to either of them.”
It’s not the first time Noah has shared little things with me when he probably shouldn’t. Nothing classified, but it showed he trusted me. I never broke that trust.
Just his heart.
I saw it that night as he was dragged out of the hallway to the mechanical bull.
The hope that he’d harbored discharging from the Army—how it would change things between us.
It doesn’t.
Yet last night...for a second I’m back in my room with his big, strong and protective arms around me as waves of pleasure echo through me. We could have that every day if I let it happen.
Could I?
Just as I’m leaning into the idea, Marlene interrupts my thoughts.
“I heard your father is retiring. That’s a big deal for the Colonel.”
Ugh.
There’s my reason.
Dad would love to learn I was involved with Noah and had been to some degree or another all these years. Because I have. But that doesn’t mean I had a hand up the ladder in any way.
Noah hasn’t said it, but I know he thinks I shouldn’t care what others think. That may be true with the likes of Tyrell and some of the other men in my old platoon. I may never see them again.
But my father will always be in my life, and he’s been the one that really mattered all along. Perhaps he shouldn’t, but he’s my dad, and he does.
Whether I like it or not.
“Yeah.” I nod. “Next month he’s discharging with honors.”
When I glance away, I spot Noah standing with his thick, muscular arms crossed, talking to a new guy. His eyes are locked on me, determined, possessive and predatory.
Sadness plows through me.
I’m going to break both our hearts all over again.