Skylar
I push past the small crowd of people blocking the entrance to Phoenix’s suite. “Move.”
“I can’t wake him up,” Phoenix says when he sees me.
I rush over to the bed Josh is lying on. Not only is he unconscious, his breathing is shallow. He’s also pale and clammy.
I force myself to keep it together because falling apart isn’t going to help things. I have to stay cool, calm, and collected.
Just breathe.
“Wake up, Josh.” Gripping his shoulders, I shake him with everything I have. “Come on.”
“I called Chandler,” Phoenix tells me.
“Call an ambulance,” I snap.
I know doing so will draw attention and it’s the last thing the band needs right now, but Josh’s life is way more important than bad press.
Phoenix fumbles for his phone just as Chandler storms in. Nudging me out of the way, he pulls out a bottle and sprays something into Josh’s nose.
“What’s that?”
He frowns. “Narcan.”
Deep down, I sensed what was happening was an overdose. I just hoped like hell I was wrong.
However, when a confused and disoriented Josh comes to, the cold, hard truth barrels into me like a tsunami.
I back up as EMTs swarm around Josh, and Chandler addresses the cluster of leftover partygoers. “Not a word of this to anyone. If I find out any of you leaked this to the press, I’ll sue you so hard your great-grandchildren will need to panhandle for money.”
My stare snags on Phoenix—who looks so lost and miserable—I have the urge to throw my arms around him and assure him everything will be okay.
Only, I can’t.
Because for the first time…I’m not so sure it will.
They ended up keeping Josh at the hospital for a few hours. The doctor said he was lucky Chandler had Narcan otherwise he never would have woken up.
A social worker tried talking to him about rehab centers, but aside from accepting the pamphlets she handed him, he didn’t seem all that interested.
Given there was a show scheduled for tonight and Josh was in no shape to be on that stage, Chandler had no choice but to find a temporary bassist to fill in.
I watch Josh’s chest rise and fall.
He almost died…again.
What if he’s so far gone, I can’t save him this time?
As if hearing my inner fears, Josh’s eyes flicker open.
“Hey, you’re awake. How are you feeling?”
He blinks several times before looking around the dark room. “What time is it?”
I glance at the clock on the nightstand. “A little after midnight.”
He bristles. “I missed the show? Why didn’t you wake me?”
“You were still out of it after we got back from the hospital. Chandler and the rest of the guys figured it was best to let you sleep it off.”
“What about the concert?” he questions. “Did they cancel it?”
There’s an anxious—almost hopeful—lilt in his tone.
I deliver my next words as gently as I can. “No. Your bass tech filled in.”
Josh sits up. “Wait. They did the show without me?” His face falls when I nod softly. “Damn.”
“It’s okay,” I assure him.
Better than okay actually because when I texted Storm to see how the show went, he said it was one of the best they ever had.
Obviously, I don’t relay that part to Josh.
“I fucked up, Skylar,” he whispers, his eyes glassy. Only this time it’s not from drugs. “I fucked up so bad.”
My voice cracks when I speak, whatever composure I mustered earlier long gone. “You scared the hell out of me.”
Josh’s arm circles around my waist, and he tugs me to his chest. “I’m sorry, baby. I never meant to.”
“You never meant to scare me…or you never meant to OD?”
He looks at me like I’ve sprouted another head. “What the hell kind of question is that? Both.”
“You need help, Josh.”
There’s no more beating around the bush or sweeping just how bad his addiction has gotten under the rug.
“I need you.” He blows out a breath. “I’m gonna scale it back, okay?” His lips graze my temple. “I scared the hell out of me, too.” His voice drops to a whisper. “I almost lost everything tonight.”
It’s the very first time in all these years that he’s ever willingly admitted he has a problem.
A tiny flicker of hope blooms in my chest once more. Maybe this was the wake-up call he needed in order to get back on the right track.
Resolve crosses his features. “I’m gonna do better.”
I want to believe him…but he’s said the very same words before.
He constricts his hold, clutching me like I’m the only lifeline he has left.
Because I am.
“Please don’t ever leave me, Skylar. I’ll die without you.”
That’s what I’m afraid of.