Chapter 17
Chapter Seventeen
CHASTITY
“ U mm…What’s going on?”
The moment I heard Liv’s voice calling from the doorway, I knew I’d been caught. There was no way around it. No possible explanation I could give for the open bag half-stuffed with clothes lying on the bed that would fool her.
Even if I managed to come up with something brilliant on the fly—like Matteo and I were stealing away for the night—I knew she’d never believe me. I was a terrible liar, after all, and Liv was as smart as they came.
So when I emerged from the closet, my hands full of a few little trinkets Matteo had gifted me during the week that I couldn’t bear to leave behind—a small book of romantic era poetry, a delicate silver bracelet, and a shimmering opal inlaid fountain pen—I didn’t even try to pretend.
“I’m leaving,” I said.
“What?” Liv rushed into the room, sliding between me and the travel bag before I could pack anything else. “Why?”
“It doesn’t matter,” I told her, trying to duck around her side, but Liv was faster and blocked my way again.
“What are you talking about?” she demanded. “Of course it matters.”
She was right, of course.
The whole reason I was running back to my old life was because everyone in this house mattered. Deeply . And I wasn’t about to be the reason they all got hurt.
But explaining that to Liv would be a terrible idea.
She was too bright and would no doubt come up with a dozen reasons why I should stay—why I should fight.
But she didn’t know my father.
She wouldn’t understand that once an idea lodged in his head, there was no getting it out or that his pride was more important than his own flesh and blood.
“I don’t want to talk about it.” This time, I tried dodging to the left, but I still came up short.
“Well, too bad,” Liv shot back. “Because I don’t want you to leave.”
The sincerity in her voice cracked another fissure in my already broken heart.
“Neither do I, but…”
Liv’s hands cupped over my shoulders, holding me in place. “But what ?”
“But…I can’t.”
I knew it wasn’t enough, but it was the only answer I could give.
“Did you get in a fight with Matteo?” she asked. “Did something bad happen in the club last night?”
I shook my head, but in the absence of an answer, Liv just kept throwing out one wild speculation after another.
“Did one of the club girls come on to him?” she asked. “Because that still happens with Gabriel sometimes. But you know, just because they throw themselves at our guys, it doesn’t mean that Gabriel or Matteo are interested. Or— Oh God! —did he actually hook up with someone else?”
I could have lied and agreed with any of the scenarios she was tossing out there. It would have made what I had to do next so much easier. But even imagining Matteo doing something so cruel that made my stomach churn.
“No,” I said, shaking my head. “This is my decision. It was always part of our deal that I could go back to the convent if I wanted to, and last night, I realized I wanted to.”
Liv’s eyes narrowed. Even though everything I said was technically the truth, she could clearly sense the lie underneath.
“But you just said you didn’t want to leave.”
Right.
“I don’t,” I admitted. “Part of me wants to stay, but a bigger part wants to go.”
That was the part that wanted Matteo’s family and mine to survive. The part that wanted to keep the streets of New York free from the violence and bloodshed of a mob war. The part that knew that there was no other way.
Liv’s mouth flattened into a thin, straight line as she stared at me for another few seconds.
Then, even though suspicion and doubt were written all over her face, she let go of my shoulders and stepped to the side, letting me pass.
Of course, it wasn’t a complete surrender. Being Liv, she still felt compelled to make her misgivings known.
“I don’t know about this,” she said as I loaded the last of my things into the bag and zipped it up. “Everything seems… off .”
She wasn’t wrong
It was a screwed-up situation. One where there were no good answers or easy solutions.
Hooking the bag in the crook of my arm, I turned around to face one of the only true friends I’d ever had in my life.
“I’m going to miss you,” I said.
Her lips pulled down in a hard frown even, as her eyes started to mist up with tears. “I’m going to miss you, too.”
She rushed forward and wrapped her arms around me, hugging me tight.
“I wrote Matteo a note,” I said. “Will you make sure he gets it?”
The moment Liv released her hold on me, I pointed to the table where the envelope sat. Inside was a detailed explanation of why I had to leave. After everything he’d given me this week, I figured the least I owed him was the truth.
I wished I could have said it all to him face to face instead of taking the coward’s way out, but deep down, I knew he’d only try to stop me.
A letter was a decent compromise.
By the time he got home tonight and learned what had happened, I’d already be safely cloistered inside the convent walls. There would be no turning back.
“Of course,” Liv said, though she didn’t look happy about it. That made two of us. “Will I see you again?”
Again, it was tempting to lie—to say what we both wanted to hear. But it wouldn’t be right.
“I don’t think so.” Then, before my overly sentimental heart could trick me with false reasons to stay, I said, “I have to go. There’s a taxi waiting for me downstairs.”
“Letizia could send them away,” Liv offered.
But sadly, I shook my head.
The only person who needed to leave was me.