Chapter 18
Chapter Eighteen
CHASTITY
A ve Maria, gratia plena, Dominus tecum. Benedicta tu in mulieribus ? —
Bang!
The angelic, melodic sounds of chanting rising up through the vaulted hall of the convent chapel were broken by the deafening crack of solid wood crashing against stone walls.
All the sisters seated around me in the pews swiveled around in shock to see who had dared to violently trespass on our devotions...but not me.
I didn’t have to look. With an entrance like that, I knew it could only be one of two people—and neither one of them was welcome.
“Chastity!”
I closed my eyes as my name echoed through the air.
I should have been angry—livid even—at the nerve of the person breaking into this sacred space, but instead, my heart hammered in hope at the sound of a voice I feared I’d never hear again.
Matteo.
Even though I knew now that he was here, he wouldn’t leave until he found me, I tilted my head down, letting my dark veil fall and partially cover my face. Equal parts shame and hope surged to life inside me, both emotions warring for control.
“Excuse me,” Mother Superior shouted, rising from her seat in front of the altar. “Mind your manners and lower your voice. This is a church, not a roadside bar.”
From the sound of it, Matteo didn’t pay her any mind. “I’m looking for Chastity Costa.”
Any hopes for anonymity I had flew out the window when every sister in the chapel snapped their faces my way all at once.
They might as well have lit up a neon arrow above my head.
“ Chastity .” In the space of a second, Matteo was in front of me, crouching down and lifting my chin to look me in the eye.
“Sir!” Mother Superior was right behind him. “I don’t know who you are, but this behavior is unacceptable. You need to leave. Now!”
Matteo didn’t react to her command. He didn’t even blink.
“There’s only one way I’m leaving here, and it’s with Chastity,” he said.
I closed my eyes and listened as the rest of the sisters shifted uncomfortably in their seats.
I refused to believe this was actually happening. This had to be a dream. A terrible nightmare.
Many of the sisters hadn’t been happy to see me when I arrived back at the convent a few days ago, but they’d still opened the doors. They might not have heard from my father about my adventures in the secular world, but between my strange, new clothes and the rumors flying around on the street, they knew some kind of trouble had happened.
The kind of trouble that only a Costa could get herself into.
But, in the end, it was only Mother Superior’s opinion that mattered. After a long stint in the confessional and hours after clutching my rosary afterward, she allowed me to stay.
There were conditions, of course. On top of rising an hour earlier than everyone else to pray for forgiveness and taking on extra tasks around the grounds, she expected me to be a model of perfect behavior.
There would be no more issues. No more distractions. No more trouble.
And for the past five days, I’d followed her instructions to the letter.
Until the embodiment of trouble had come bursting through the door, calling my name.
“Sister Theresa,” Mother Superior said, her voice as serious and grave as I’d ever heard. “Do you know this man?”
I let out a breath and felt my heart sink as my shoulders sagged. “Yes.”
A slow hum of murmurs filled the air as the other sisters began to whisper. But Mother Superior ran a tight ship and wasn’t about to let her chapel become a den of gossip.
She clapped with enough force to silence the room in a heartbeat.
“The remainder of vespers is canceled,” she announced. “You will all return to your evening chores immediately.”
I started to stand with the other sisters, but Matteo instantly grabbed my wrist.
At the same time, Mother Superior said, “Not you, Sister Theresa.”
Of course. What was I thinking?
There was no way I was getting out of this mess that easily.
The three of us sat in uneasy silence as the rest of the audience made their way out of the chapel. Only once the heavy oak door was finally closed did Mother Superior cross her arms and look down at Matteo and me.
“Now, you two,” she said, her voice somehow even more imperious than usual. “What in the name of heaven is going on?”
“I told you,” Matteo said before I could open my mouth to explain. “I’ve come to take Chastity home. She doesn’t belong here.”
“While I’m inclined to agree with that last point,” the Mother said, “I am still going to demand more details. Who you are would be a good start.”
Since it seemed this wasn’t a dream and the earth wasn’t about to put me out of my misery by opening up and swallowing me whole, I supposed I would have to explain.
“Mother, this is the man I was telling you about.”
“Yes, child, I gathered that much,” she said with a long-suffering sigh. “What is his name?”
“Matteo D’Angelo,” he answered.
“Oh, I see.” The Mother’s eyes widened in recognition and surprise. “Now I understand why your father was so upset at your disappearance, Sister. And why my chapel door was nearly busted off its hinges.”
“I’m so sorry for that,” I rushed to apologize to the Mother.
Matteo, on the other hand, only shook his head. “I’m not.”
“I didn’t imagine you would be, Mr. D’Angelo,” the Mother shot back. “Your family is somewhat infamous for not caring about the well-being of others, aren’t they?”
“Only of those who try to stand in the way of what we want,” Matteo said.
“And am I to understand by your little display of temper, that what you currently want is Sister Theresa?” she asked dryly.
“That’s not her name,” he said. “The woman I want is named Chastity Costa.”
Now it was my turn to shake my head. “She doesn’t exist anymore.”
“The hell she doesn’t,” he growled. “I don’t care if God himself came down to preside over your final vows himself; you’re still coming home with me.”
His voice was firm. So determined. Just the sound of it sent new cracks radiating through my already shattered heart.
“That can’t happen, Matteo,” I said, rolling my eyes up to the ceiling and willing the stinging tears not to fall. “Didn’t you read the letter I left you? I explained it all in there.”
“I don’t care about your explanations ,” he said between gritted teeth. “The only thing I care about is you.”
“If that was true, you wouldn’t have come here,” I said. “You would have stayed in New York and out of trouble.”
His grip on my wrist tightened, becoming more insistent. “I would die before I let your father harm you.”
“Excuse me? What does this have to do with Michael Costa?” Mother Superior tried to break in, but we were too wrapped up in our conversation to answer any of her questions.
“Don’t you see that was what I was trying to avoid by coming back to the convent?” Despite my best intentions and prayers, my emotions took over. I wrapped my hand around his, my touch begging him to be reasonable. “If I had stayed, my father would have found a way to hurt you. He didn’t care who had to kill—you or me. Either way, he’d get his war, and everyone we loved would pay the price.”
“So you decided it was better to run away and hide for the rest of your life than say all this to my face?”
“Do you think it was easy?” I demanded, my own temper now riling up. “Do you think it didn’t break my heart knowing I was sacrificing every sliver of hope and happiness I’d ever had? I have thought about you every second of every day since I’ve been back in this habit, and it kills me to know that I’ll be dreaming of you every day until I die.”
“You don’t have to,” he argued. “Come home with me.”
Throwing my head back, I closed my eyes and prayed for patience, but it wasn’t coming. “Why won’t you listen to me? Can’t you see the only way this ends is with me staying here and taking my vows.”
“Unfortunately, my dear child, after hearing what you said, I can’t allow that to happen,” the Mother said.
Jerking my head back up, I looked over at her. “You’re kicking me out of the convent? Because of him?”
“Not exactly.” Mother Superior drew in a long breath before settling herself down. “I didn’t say you had to leave. In fact, if what you’re saying is true, you’re welcome to stay with us as long as you need sanctuary. But I’m afraid I can’t allow you to take your vows.”
“Why not?”
“Because putting on this habit every day isn’t about hiding or punishment,” she said. “It’s a divine blessing that brings joy to those who are called to it. But there are other blessings in the world, child. Loves that are just as deep and sacred as the ones we share here with the Lord. I would have explained that to you the night you arrived if you had shared the true nature of your relationship with this man.”
But how could I have done that when I didn’t totally understand it myself.
“I’m sorry for that, Mother,” I told her honestly. “I thought I was doing what was right. I wanted to protect my friends and family.”
“But mostly Matteo, I imagine,” she added.
I turned toward him and was instantly caught in his dark gaze. How could I explain that just about everything I did was for him these days?
He was my joy and my sorrow. All my hopes and disappointments. Once, he’d been nothing more than a fantasy to me, but now he was everything .
“Yes,” I admitted to her. “And I was tempted to tell you the whole truth after you allowed me to return, but I didn’t want to risk it. Especially since after I didn’t hear from him after that first night. I figured he was already doing his best to forget about me.”
Matteo shook his head. “That was never going to happen.”
“But if that’s true then—” My voice cracked with emotion, and I had to take in a few steadying breaths before I could try again. “—then why didn’t you come five days ago? Why did you make me wait? Did you want to punish me?”
Matteo vehemently shook his head.
“Never,” he said. “I didn’t want to. It killed me to stay away, but my brothers and Liv convinced me it was the right thing to do.”
And they were right. It was.
It was miserable and painful, but it was the only option.
“You should have listened to them and stayed away forever.”
I couldn’t hold back the tears any longer. They spilled out over my eyelids and ran down my face.
“You have it all wrong,” Matteo said, reaching out over the back of the pew to wipe them off my cheeks. “All of them want you back. But they knew you wouldn’t be convinced it was the right thing until we’d solved the problem of your father.”
Oh God .
My heart clenched in my chest. “Please tell me you didn’t?—”
“No,” Matteo said, calming the worst of my fears before I could get the rest of the words out. “I won’t lie—I wanted to. But Liv convinced me that would only upset you more.”
She was right.
My father might’ve been a violent egomaniac, but he was still my father. Wishing him harm would have made me the same kind of monster.
“Then what did you do?” I asked.
“What I do best,” Matteo said. “I negotiated an agreement that was beneficial to both our families.”
I blinked. “What does that mean?”
“It means I secretly contacted your brothers and the other Costas and set up a meeting,” he explained. “We discussed how your father’s erratic behavior was threatening both our family’s security...as well as our finances.”
“And what did they say?” I asked.
“They agreed that a change in the hierarchy of the Costa family was long overdue,” he said. “So this morning, they packed your father’s bags, loaded him into a private plane to Sicily, and explained to him that if he didn’t want to meet my brother Dorian and his fine assortment of weapons in the middle of the night, he would stay there for the rest of his retirement.”
I could barely believe my ears. It all sounded so… sensible .
But there was one question I was still afraid to ask.
“And…and what about me?”
Matteo smiled. “Your family may be a bunch of wild animals, Chastity, but they love you. They don’t want you to be miserable. And they don’t care who you love, as long as you’re happy.”
I could barely believe it.
Now I was scared this was all a dream but for totally different reasons.
“So I can go home with you?” My voice was shaking so hard I could barely get the words out.
“I already told you,” Matteo said, his smile as gorgeous as ever. “I’m not leaving here without you.”