25. Alex
Alex
You are lovable. I feel the urge to do it every time I am with you.
Her words have been echoing in my head for weeks. I don’t know what to make of it, and even more so, what to say to her when I see her again. As much as I hoped that this is as real for her as it is for me, her confession that it is seems unbelievable.
She is falling in love with me, and if I am being honest, I have already fallen for her.
Between our conversations over text and over the phone, she has bewitched me with her mind.
The taste of her body and the feel of her skin have ruined me for anyone else.
She has proven every inclination I had right.
More than different, she is the authenticity I have been chasing my whole life.
All that needs to happen is for her to come to the realization that we should be together.
I’m not a patient man, but I don’t mind waiting until she gets to that point. Especially if she still gives me this full access to her. But as much as I have been working towards the goal of us being together, I have yet to picture what our life would look like.
In an ideal world, we will get to the point of marriage.
We will get a place that fits all of us, and she can finally go back to school.
I can take care of her in the way that I have been dying to for months.
But what will I be doing? Will I still be here?
Will having her be enough to make me happy?
Before I can solidify a life with her, I need to figure out what the hell I’m doing.
I also need to find a way to deal with my mother.
It may not be possible to have the life I want and have her be a part of it.
I get ready to head to lunch with Carter when my phone rings again.
It’s Mei. “The baby is coming.”
Before I can say anything, she is giving me the name of the hospital. I promise I’m on my way and leave immediately. When I get there, I see my sister pacing the halls near the nurse’s desk.
“What are you doing? Shouldn’t you be lying down?”
“I am trying to get the baby to drop.” Her breaths are heavy and deep. Inhaling through her nose, she exhales out of her mouth. Every once in a while, her eyes pinch close as she grimaces.
“I’m not dilated enough to push, so they thought this would help.” I grab her hand and put the other on her back, helping her to lean on me. She smiles in thanks before closing her eyes again in pain.
“I called Mum. She’s coming,” she says, looking so happy that I tuck my surprise away.
Maybe that nurturing gene has finally kicked in at the prospect of having a grandchild. Maybe she finally realized that her daughter matters. I don’t get my hopes up.
We start talking about the different baby names she has picked out when Mei walks up and lets us know our mother actually showed up. Liv smiles so bright it looks like all the shadows of her strain are gone. With a speed quicker than I thought she would be capable of, she walks back to the room.
Standing in the middle of it is our mother with a giant teddy bear.
The image throws me so suddenly, I have to lean against the wall to hold myself up.
Liv makes her way over, pulling her into a hug that seems to rock my mother to her core.
I think I can count on one hand the number of times our parents have hugged us, but something in my sister needs this from her right now.
“Thank you for coming.”
Liv shouldn’t have to thank our mother for something that is expected, but she does anyway.
“Of course.” Mother strokes a hand down Liv’s hair before curling it around her finger like she used to. That one moment of comfort has my sister sighing.
“I can’t stay long, though, I have lunch at one.” She steps back, peeling herself out of the hug.
Even without being able to see Liv’s face, I know she is disappointed.
“You aren’t staying for the birth? I need my mother for this.”
Mei and I look at each other, our worry mirrored on our faces. The feeling of tension in the air is making it hard to breathe. Or maybe that’s just my anger stuck in my throat as I try to keep myself from speaking.
“I’m sorry I can’t stay, but I brought a gift.” She pushes the teddy bear into Liv’s arms, smiling like the gift shop stuffed animal makes up for her lack of interest.
When I hear Liv sniffle, I lose the battle with keeping my words at bay.
“Can I talk to you in the hallway?” I start to walk out, not giving our mother an option to say no.
The clicking of her heels lets me know she is following me. With the good sense to close the door behind her, she makes sure this conversation stays between us.
“You need to stay.” The stormy rage circling in my chest has my voice sounding like thunder.
“If your father was alive, I wouldn’t have been able to come at all.”
“This is your grandchild. The legacy you wanted so much. Are you really going to let your prejudice stop you from being in his life?” I can’t seem to stop myself from sneering, and the look has her stepping forward, ready to battle.
“This is about more than her choosing to be with a woman. She embarrassed us. She was supposed to marry Kent, and she ran off with her assistant. Now she is having a baby with god knows whose sperm, and you all expect me to forgive her?”
I want to shout at her that she is the one who should be asking for forgiveness, but if I raise my voice, she will just shut down at the fact that I am causing a scene. So instead, I run my hand through my hair, practically pulling it out.
“You can’t treat your grandchildren differently. You can’t be one way with her kids and then another with mine. I won’t allow it.”
“Whether you like it or not, Alexander, things will be different. Your father only left money for your kids, and the company will go to your son. That is his true legacy.” She tilts her chin up, but the tremor in her lips betrays her cold demeanor. Some part of her regrets that.
I am ready to tell her exactly how I feel about both this stupid company and her when she holds up a hand.
“I’ll stay for a couple more hours.” She walks past me back into the room, ending the conversation.
With nothing else to say, I just follow her and watch as my sister’s face lights up when our mother grabs her hand. It’s never enough, but she always gives us these slivers of hope that have us coming back for more. I won’t, but now Liv will convince herself that she isn’t all bad.
Missing her lunch, mother stays until she hits her limit of being in our company. Then, with a kiss on each cheek, she leaves us to actually be the ones with Liv through the birth.
As we pass the hours waiting for the baby to come, I can’t help but ruminate on the trajectory of our lives. Liv chose herself and lost everything in the process. She did this while loving our parents. I don’t share the same sentiment, yet something keeps stopping me from walking away from it all.
Is it the respect I have for my now-gone grandfather? Is it the obligation that has been beaten into me since I was a child? Something makes me feel like I need to do this, and I don’t know if I am ready to pay the price of walking away. I don’t know who I am without it.
Theodore Lee Choi Whitmore comes screaming into this world at the break of dawn.
Both his mothers cry as they behold the newest member of their family.
I hold him to my chest like the precious thing he is and make him a million promises.
They will make sure he never lacks love, and I will do my best to give him everything else.
This is our future, and it is more than what we could ask for.
Having to go to work when I want to spend my days cooing at my nephew is pure torture; add having a board meeting to the day, and I feel like I’m being held underwater.
The black tie I picked out to match my charcoal suit feels like it is choking me. I keep pulling at it as I wait for everyone else to show up. Unlike last time, they are late to spite me. The lack of respect of the action has me already fueled to start a fight.
Checking my watch again, I sit up and tug on the knot. I know it’s not really the tie, but the expectations that are making it hard to breathe. Still, I blame it and continue to try and loosen it from around my neck.
I’m ready to take it off entirely when they all come strolling in, looking not the least bit sorry.
Lorenzo even has the nerve to stop in the doorway and start a conversation with one of the members.
I close my eyes and breathe out. It’s not until someone clears their throat that I open them back up.
Now they are all staring at me, waiting for me to start the meeting.
I don’t know why. They’re the ones who called it.
“Shall we begin?” I ask all the same, placing my folded hands on the table.
“It’s been a little over three months since you became CEO.”
I see no reason why Lorenzo is stating the obvious, so I wait.
“We feel your performance has been adequate.” The rest of them nod, and I stifle a laugh.
This is the weakest attempt at trying to undermine someone I have ever seen.
I have done more in these three months than my father did in his last three years.
The projected profits for the year are higher than they were when I started.
I am priming the company to push into a new market and solidifying deals that will have us catching up to our competitors.
Whether I want to do it or not, I have been excelling in this role.
“Please tell me where I have failed to warrant the rating of just adequate?” I quirk one eyebrow, unable to stop the smug look from taking over my face.
Watching in silence as they all turn to each other for the answer, I wait for them to explain their reasoning. They are quiet for longer than what is appropriate, and it makes me wonder what their plan was.