25. Alex #2
“We just feel you aren’t taking the role seriously.” Lorenzo’s neck is red, so I know he is either angry or embarrassed by their failure. I kind of want him to throw a tantrum.
“And what is it that you think I should be doing to show I am more serious?” They look at each other again, and this time I can’t help but sigh.
“We just expect more of a commitment. You have missed a lot of days and have left early often.”
The only way they would know this is if they spoke with my secretary. I knew she was not to be trusted. She will be replaced by the end of the week.
Annoyed that they have a foot to stand on, I sit up straighter.
“I think the work I have produced, even with my days away, is substantial.” Some members smile in agreement, and he shoots them dead with his eyes. The swaying of some people was not a part of his plans.
“While that is all well and good, imagine what you would have accomplished if you had adhered to the responsibility of this role? If you want to keep this position, then you need to give more.”
I want to yell that I am giving them everything. I want to wipe the smile off his face with my fist and never walk into this room again. It’s my turn to hold back my own fit of anger.
If I give them what they are asking, then I will be the exact person I never wanted to be.
How will I have time for Chanice or my family if I am constantly in this office trying to prove my worth?
This doesn’t even hold value for me. The pressure is getting heavier as the weighted expectation pushes me down even more.
Part of me is begging myself to just let it go.
“Is that all?” Not giving them a promise, I refuse to bow down to their whims.
“The company’s sponsored charity is holding a gala. It’s important that the CEO is seen there.”
This could be the perfect opportunity to give Chanice the experience I promised her when we first met. I agree to show up and then promptly leave. Calling her once I am back in my office, I am disappointed when she tells me she has to work that night. Promising her another time, I hang up.
If we can’t go together, then this will be a great chance to get my last date with Elizabeth out of the way.
I have been avoiding her, unsure of whether or not to go through with my promise.
After these last few weeks with Chanice, how can I?
With the things we have shared, it feels like cheating to do anything else.
But being a man of my word, is it right to just break it after the other person held up their end?
I sigh and pick up the phone, clicking on her contact.
In the end, I end things. It feels wrong on so many levels to even falsely entertain another woman after the night I had with Chanice.
Her trusting me to hold her through that breakdown has leveled the rest of the boundaries we had in place.
Even if it takes her a little longer to give herself to me, I am fully hers.
So I can’t bring myself to fulfill my promise to my mother. The one I silently made to Chanice when I held her that night holds more value than the one I gave under manipulation. I mostly held up my end of the deal anyway, having gone on two of the three dates.
But somehow my mother must know I ended things. Like she has some sort of sick sixth sense about me making my own decisions, she shows up a week later.
My new assistant, Ms. Keller, opens the door to announce her, and is promptly pushed to the side. She panics and tries to over-explain what sounds like a harrowing ten-minute conversation with my mother, but I tell her it’s okay, dismissing her.
“Where is Ms. Welch?” My mother asks in greeting before sitting across from me.
“I fired her.” I adjust my tie and sit back, trying to keep my hands from throwing her out. Still not over her reaction at the hospital, I’m surprised she had the nerve to show up.
“That was a mistake.” She picks up my picture frame and stares at me and Liv. Smiling, she puts it back so that it’s facing her.
“Why are you here?” Despite my desire to never speak to her again, if the hospital has shown me anything, it’s that my sister still needs her.
“I came to see how you are doing.”
I lift one eyebrow and place my hands on my stomach. “I’m fine.”
“Good. How do you feel about September sixteenth next year?”
“For what?” I ask sitting forward.
“For your wedding.”
This gets my spine to straighten entirely as I’m shocked into a stiff position. Always ill-prepared for her mode of attack, out of everything I thought she would say, I didn’t think it would be this.
“Don’t I need a fiancée to plan a wedding?” I rub my forehead, feeling a headache coming on.
“You’ve been seeing Elizabeth for three months.”
Technically, yes, effort-wise, no. Sparse texts, a few phone calls, and our two dates are all that have happened in that time. All I could manage to do while my focus lies elsewhere, and now Elizabeth and I are over.
I have to wonder if Elizabeth told her, and that’s why she is sitting here now. Even if my mother does know why on Earth she thought after our last argument that I would feel inclined to do anything for her is beyond me.
“No,” is all I offer up, still trying to keep the conversation civil.
“No?” Her mouth twists in a way that reminds me of my youth. Every moment of freedom I was able to carve out was overshadowed by that expression.
“No,” I repeat.
Her eyes widen and her lip quivers as she sinks into her seat. “I’m going to die soon,” she says.
“What?”
“Your father just died. I’m next.”
At a loss for words, I just watch as she wilts in front of me. Somehow, she makes herself look her age despite all of her cosmetic efforts to prevent that.
“What are you going to do if I do?” she asks.
In all honesty, I don’t know. Despite the urge for her to not be a part of it, I have never imagined my life without her. Against all common sense and logical reasoning, I still love her in equal measure to my hatred. Goddammit.
I stop myself from slamming my head against my desk and instead run my hands through my hair.
“How about this? I’ll keep looking and promise to ask someone by the end of next year.” She doesn’t need to know that the “someone” will likely be Chanice.
“Really?” she says, sitting up. And just like that, she is back to looking forty.
“Yes, really. Now would you like to see pictures of your grandson?”
Surprisingly, she nods, and I hand her my phone, a sense of relief coming over me. Unfortunately, as soon as she grabs it, that scrunch happens again.
“He’s Asian,” she says.
“Yes.”
“Why is he Asian?” Her look borders on disgust, and that’s enough for my anger to flare back up.
“I have work. You should go,” I snap, grabbing my phone back, like that can protect Theo. I need to talk to Liv about the danger of having her in his life.
She doesn’t protest, standing up and dusting her skirt off.
Telling me to still keep Elizabeth in mind, she turns and leaves.
I don’t bother to walk her out, scared I might push her down the stairs or something.
Instead, I turn back to my computer and start looking up deep breathing exercises.
I have no idea how I am going to calm myself down after that conversation.