Chapter Twenty-Nine Savannah #2
“I lost everything. My military career was in the shitter, and I . . . I lost someone really close to me because of that bad deal.” His voice cracks. “He followed me in even though I told him not to . . .”
“Liam,” I breathe, my mind tripping back to the dog tags Blaze flipped out about when I asked about them that day in his bedroom.
“Yeah.” His pained expression grabs hold of my heart and squeezes like a vise. “And I’ve kept all of this to myself. Nobody knows the whole truth.”
I sit back, shock settling into my brain. He’s never been this open with me, this trusting.
But something still niggles my brain.
“What happened when you got back?”
Again, his gaze falls to the floor. “What do you mean?”
“Well, this man had his hooks into you while you were in the military, where you figured you’d be clear of him. Now you’re back. Has he approached you?”
He rubs his foot against the crack in between the wooden floorboards. “I’m trying to get out. It’s complicated.”
“So that’s a yes?”
“I did a job for him recently. It was supposed to be the last one. But it wasn’t.”
“You’re still working for that criminal.” I shake my head. “Is this like a forever thing?”
“This guy is a sadistic control freak. He doesn’t tolerate betrayal or disrespect.
And he’ll make anyone who crosses him suffer a worse hell than death.
He won’t kill me. He’ll just destroy everything worth a damn to me as payback.
I’ve tried to figure a way out, but he’s got too much leverage against me.
He’ll send a message if I try to challenge him.
He’s done it before. You remember that night, right?
When some car ran you off the road? It was his doing, and it gave me another reason to leave you.
” His jaw tightens. “I’m fucked either way I play this. ”
“Of course I remember that night. It still haunts me.” My throat tightens. “And what happened to Wyatt? You don’t think it was an accident, do you?”
His jaw tightens. “No.”
Blood simmers as it courses through my veins.
Detailed memories of that night years ago are still so vivid, it’s like the accident happened just yesterday.
I can still see the flashing headlights of the black sedan speeding up behind me in the darkness and running me off the road.
I can still smell the burning rubber, the searing metal when my car crashed into that tree on the highway.
“I’m doing everything I can to keep you and everyone else safe, Savannah.”
“It’s obviously not working, is it? Judging from the fact that Wyatt is still in the hospital, right?” I stab a finger at his chest. “Tell me who this person is. Tell me who I need to watch out for. You owe me that.”
“The less you know—”
He’s doing it again. Right now, when he’s closer to honesty than he ever has been before, he’s still shutting me out.
“No,” I yell. “Don’t you dare keep me in the dark.”
“Look,” he says, an edge to his tone. “I am handling it. You think knowing details will protect you? It won’t. Trust me on that.”
“I don’t trust you on anything right now,” I say through clenched teeth.
I get up and pace the length of the porch.
White-hot fury floods my insides. “I shouldn’t be surprised, though.
This is so typical of you. You could tell me the truth, but you won’t.
You’d rather keep me vulnerable and defenseless than trust me enough with the whole picture. Just like you did all those years ago.”
“I did tell you the truth.”
“No, you told me a truth. Not the truth. There’s a big difference.”
I press my fingertips to my throbbing temples. “And I just slept with you again. Knowing this would end badly, not ever dreaming it would be this horrible.”
He reaches for me. I stare at his hand like it’s a poisonous viper. “Don’t touch me. You don’t get to touch me ever again.” I glare at him. “Go.”
“But you said if I left again—”
“I said if you left again, don’t come back. I never said anything about me kicking you out.”
Blaze springs up from the lounge chair. “Savvie, please let me stay. I won’t talk. I won’t touch you or make excuses. But please, let me just be here with you. For you.”
I shake my head. “I need time to think. By myself. I can’t do that with you anywhere near me.”
His head drops. “Can I come back to check on you?”
“Don’t. I said I need time.” I fold my arms over my chest, my jaw tight.
Blaze walks past me, and I immediately feel the loss when he walks down the stairs and heads toward his truck. Each step he takes is like a knife to my gut. I watch his taillights disappear down the drive, and only then do I lower myself onto the porch and let the tears fall.
I feel so empty, like I already know how this all ends. But I just haven’t lived through it yet.
Nash was right. I should have stayed away from him all those years ago.
He’s a liar and a criminal, but dammit, my body still hums from his touch. And my heart aches, thinking about the dejected look on his face when I sent him away. Because despite everything, he was betrayed by his own father, someone who should have done everything in his power to protect Blaze.
Of course, he’s not the only one with secrets. And with all he’s held back from me . . . all he’s still holding back . . . he still doesn’t know my biggest secret, one I’ve carried with me for six years.
The baby we lost.
The truth is supposed to set you free. But partial truths?
They’re just another kind of cage.
And I’m still locked up tight.