Chapter Thirty Blaze
Chapter Thirty
Blaze
Three days have passed since I left Red Rock . . . and Savannah. Three days of silence that is more deafening than the gunfire and explosions that haunt my nightmares.
Turning my phone over, I glare at the blank screen. No missed calls. No missed texts.
I promised her space, so I’ve stayed away.
Working on our ranch from dawn to dusk, keeping myself busy with land and equipment maintenance, feeding and watering livestock, fence and barn repairs .
. . all jobs meant to keep my mind off the stricken look on Savannah’s face when I told her almost everything.
She looked at me like I was some thug gangster with a black heart and no soul. And it stung worse than any angry words that spewed from her lips.
Because she finally realized I am the villain in this story.
Not the hero. Never the hero.
Everything I touch turns to ash. It’s better this way. She should stay far away from me. I’ve already put her in enough danger. Maybe enough that she’ll leave Whiskey Creek and get away from Wilkerson’s threats.
I slam my fist on the kitchen counter. The coffee in my mug swishes over the side, drizzling down the side of the ceramic. It seeps into the wood grain beneath it.
Running my finger over the tiny chip on the handle, I go through all the reasons why I can’t violate her wishes, why I need to wait for her to reach out. But panic burns hot in my chest.
“I need to get out of here,” I mutter, grabbing my hat and keys. I stalk out the front door and jump into my truck. I grit my teeth and stare at the road, squinting at the sunlight streaming through my windshield.
Fuck the sun. I’ve been living in pitch blackness for so long, I feel like a damn vampire.
Twenty minutes later, I pull into the hospital parking lot. A deep sigh expels from my lips as I stare up at the redbrick building, guilt roiling my gut.
My youngest brother, who I deserted, was an innocent victim in this whole shit show. I don’t care what Wilkerson said, how he deflected blame. He did this. I’d bet my life on it.
Who will be next?
And how the fuck can I stop it? How can I beat Wilkerson at his sick game without anyone else suffering the consequences?
That question has looped through my mind for weeks, and I still have no answer.
I take the elevator up to Wyatt’s floor. He was moved out of the ICU a few days ago and is now in a private room, where he’ll stay until his physical therapy program is complete.
Wyatt’s voice floats into the hallway, and my lips quirk up when I hear a high-pitched laugh.
Another nurse fawning over him, I’m sure.
They parade in all day with any excuse to take his vitals, read his chart, ask if he needs anything.
He’s a charmer for sure. Always had girls wrapped around his little finger.
He’s just got the kind of charisma that draws people to him.
And once they’re close, they never want to break free.
A blessing and a curse, I suppose, depending on who you draw in.
I push open the door and swallow a smirk. Not one but two nurses are practically draped over the bed, hanging on his every word in that exaggerated drawl of his.
I step into the room, and the nurses scatter, nearly tripping over each other. I wink at Wyatt, and he shrugs.
Once they leave, I drop into a chair next to the bed. “How’re you feeling today? Did you get a sponge bath from those two?”
“Nah. I graduated to taking my own showers, unfortunately.” He chuckles, settling back against the pillows.
“Sorry to hear that. I’m sure the nurses are too.”
He shrugs, shifting on the mattress. His face pinches with pain. “Fuck, that hurts.”
“You okay?” I spring up from the chair.
Wyatt nods. “Yeah, just the normal healing process, I guess.” He looks at me for a long minute. “You see Savannah lately?”
I drop my eyes down to the black-and-white square tiles and sit back down in the chair. “Yeah.”
“Heard there was some crazy shit that happened over at Red Rock with cattle getting out of the pastures.”
“You heard right.”
“You know,” he says. “I know things haven’t been great between us since you got home. And I appreciate you coming here every day to check on me, to be here for me.”
“I fucked up, Wy.” I drag the heel of my boot along the crack between the tiles. “Leaving you was wrong, and I’m sorry. You were right to be pissed and hold a grudge. I’m here now, though. And it might be too little, too late, but I really hope that’s not the case.”
Wyatt grins. “I think we can work things out. But what about Savannah? Will she be as forgiving? Because there’s definitely something brewin’ between you again. I always suspected you had something for her back in the day.”
I shake my head. “Yeah, well, I think I really messed things up this time. I lied to her, about who I really am, about things I’ve done.”
“So you made mistakes. We all do. People forgive.”
I bring a hand to the back of my neck. “Yeah, but I hurt her. Bad. And I don’t know if she’ll rebound from that.”
“I saw the way she looked at you, B. The way she’s always looked at you. It’d have to be some pretty serious shit for her to turn her back on you forever.”
“Serious shit. Kind of an understatement.”
“Then I don’t even want to know about it. But if she means enough to you, you have to find a path to her forgiveness.”
“The truth will kill her. And she’ll hate me forever, probably more than she does now.”
“You never know till you take a shot, right? Give her the choice. And then you’ll know for sure if you were meant to be with her or not. If she loves you, she’ll find her way back.” Wyatt gives me a pointed look. “You love her?”
“Yeah. Always have.”
“Then get your ass out there and make amends. Whatever you’re tangled up in, untangle yourself and tell her how you feel.”
I stand up from the chair, my heart floating up in my chest. “She said she needed a few days to think.”
“When did she say that?” he asks.
“A few days ago.”
“Great, so it’s time for a little visit. You deserve to be happy, Blaze. And she deserves the truth, whatever it is.”
I stare down at the hat in my hand. “What if she can’t forgive me?”
“Then you’ll have your answer. And you can move on. It sucks, but that’s life. We win some, and we lose some.”
I roll my eyes. “When did you become such a philosopher?”
“People only see a devastatingly handsome cowboy when they look at me, but I’ve got a lot of layers, B.” He winks at me.
“And one of them isn’t humility. Just a guess.” I snicker and lean over to ruffle his messy dark-blond hair.
“Bingo. Now go and win your lady back.” He lets out an exaggerated sigh. “Anything to put a smile on your face. You’re so fucking depressing, bro.”
Once I’m back in my truck, I check my phone. Nothing from Savannah.
I blow out a thin stream of breath. It’s time. I can’t run from the truth any longer. She needs to know everything . . . the sabotage, what really happened the night of the explosion, all of it. I want to incinerate these demons, and the only way to do it is to expose them.
To expose myself. Fully.
I should have told her everything the other night. It wasn’t right to hold back. I guess I wanted to hang on to a shred of hope that she would still want me, that we could work through the past. But I know that can’t ever happen unless she knows the full truth, ugly as it is.
And if she loves me, if she feels the same way about me as I do her, then she’ll accept my bad decisions and my need for forgiveness.
We can figure everything else out from there.
Wilkerson still has his claws dug deep into me, but I will figure out a way to escape him, once and for all.
It won’t be easy, and it’ll definitely be dangerous.
But there has to be a way out for us, and protecting Savannah is my top priority.
I pull into Red Rock and head toward the house.
“Shit,” I mutter when I see Nash’s pickup parked out by the barn.
And Savannah’s car is missing.
I get out of the truck, square my shoulders, and walk over to the barn. Some of the cattle are grazing close by. They mill around me, nudging me with their snouts.
“So do you ladies hate me too?” I say, stroking Ginger’s neck. “Did she tell you what I did?”
The cows low, as if to confirm they know what a piece of shit I am.
And why shouldn’t they? The secret’s out. Guess this is my day of reckoning.
“I’m here to tell her I love her,” I continue. “Something I should have told her six years ago instead of leaving her behind while I chased my own freedom. You think she’ll listen to me? Maybe forgive me?”
Heavy footsteps behind me make my spine stiffen.
“What the hell are you doing here?” Nash snarls.
I turn around. “I came to see Savannah.”
Nash takes a few steps toward me, his eyes spitting fire. “She’s out running errands. So why don’t you piss off?”
“I just want to make things right.”
He shakes the shovel at me. “No. You don’t get to show up and play the wounded hero. Not with everything you’re still doing.”
I freeze, my breath hitching. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
“People talk, Blaze. I know your father is still in bed with Wilkerson. And since you’re back, I bet you are too. You were always in his back pocket.”
I take off my hat and rake a hand through my hair. “I don’t want to be part of that world anymore.”
“You don’t have a choice. I know how his organization works. I never got in deep enough because I was just a pair of hands for you, but people who work for him don’t get to just walk away. He’s got you by the balls again, doesn’t he?”
As if he ever let go in the first place.