Chapter 18 #2
“Open.” His low voice raised the hairs on my arm. I breathed in, ignoring the sensation. I would not engage.
“Oh. It’s gonna be a good one, huh?”
Jake sighed, but it sounded like he was suspiciously covering up a laugh, which made me laugh. Good. I could only get through this if we were both laughing. I was suddenly feeling as light as a kite.
“Alright, Tuck, pro tip number one with kissing is that you have to learn when to shut up.”
“Pro tip number two: that day might not be today.”
I could not be stopped. The lightness was calming my nerves, bringing our friendship back down to earth.
“Tuck.” He was playing like he was annoyed, but his eyes were laughing.
I closed my eyes, now as calm as a summer’s day. “In the movies, the guys sometimes put their hands on the girl’s cheeks while they kiss. I always thought that was hot. Are you going to do that?”
“Why don’t you open your eyes and see?”
“Because I don’t want to watch.”
“You’ve got a lot of opinions about this for somebody who’s only done it once,” Jake said, moving closer.
“Twice.”
“We’re not counting the first one.”
I laughed. “Let’s just pretend this is my first kiss, so you better make it good. No pressure.”
“Why aren’t you looking at me?”
“Aren’t you supposed to close your eyes?”
“Not before we start.”
“Well, we’re friends, and it’s weird.” Also, because my heart was pounding, and my arms felt like they were on fire, and he hadn’t even moved to touch me yet.
“Fine. Second lesson—assuming you’ve learned to shut up by now.”
I nodded. “Assume away.”
“Kissing is about more than just lips.”
I raised my eyebrows dramatically. “Ohh. Do tell.”
He grabbed me by my shoulders and shook me lightly.
My eyes flew open at the first touch of his warm fingers on my skin.
When I could only grin up at him, he released me.
Diversion was a tactic that had saved me from many an awkward circumstance, and it was almost second nature to me now.
Usually, Jake was game for a laugh, but he seemed so annoyed that I couldn’t help myself with teasing. I had never seen him this way.
“I’m sorry,” I said, grabbing Jake’s arm before he turned away. “This is just a cover. Deep down, I’m actually freaking out.”
“Oh, really? I couldn’t tell,” he said dryly.
“Come on. Nobody has braces. This shouldn’t be so hard. We can do this.” I took a deep breath, trying to re-center my thoughts before Jake gave up on me. “Okay. Are you thinking about another girl right now?”
“What?” He sounded appalled.
“Since we’re just friends and we don’t want this to be weird, are you going to be thinking about another girl while you kiss me? Should I be thinking about another guy? Easton, maybe?”
He was looking at me in a mixture of amusement and disbelief. Or something else. Something laced with...confusion? Hesitation?
And then…decision.
His deep voice mumbled, “Alright. You know what?”
I didn’t have time to react before his hands were on my cheeks, just like in all those movies I’d seen but somehow even better.
The momentum of his pressing into me propelled us backward until my back hit the cabin wall.
I let out a small gasp as the breath taken from me became ours.
Shelby and Jake’s. His mouth came down on mine softly.
Much softer than I would have expected, given the abruptness of our contact.
My body stilled. Eyes closed. And for a long moment, I just stood there, my hands at my side, my back to a wall, and allowed myself to feel Jake’s kiss.
His lips began moving across mine. Sweeping.
Tasting. His hand lifted to my chin and, with a light touch of his thumb, pulled downward, giving himself full access to my mouth.
I breathed in his heat. He began exploring every inch—teaching me, I reminded myself.
He was teaching me. The sparks lighting my spine on fire were from something el—
“For someone who insists they’re not afraid of touching, you’re sure doing a crap job of it.”
My eyes fluttered open, confused as to why I was no longer being kissed. Jake had pulled back a fraction and was looking at me now, his eyes hidden in the shadows of the porch. Ever the diligent teacher.
“Huh?”
“That’s the secret. Although, when I say secret, I mean something the entire world knows but somehow your dense little head never picked up on in twenty-seven years.”
“Hey—”
“You’ve gotta touch me too,” he said again before pressing his mouth on mine once more.
My mind struggled to focus. I wanted to lean into every caress, every touch, but there was too much, too fast. Too many sensations exploding all around my body.
Pull. Tug. Open. Slide. Caress. Heat. Repeat.
His hands roamed. One moment they were a light press on my neck, and the next around my waist and on my back, pulling and tugging.
So much heat.
He had just said words to me. I was sure of it.
My mind fought through a fog of comprehension.
My hands clutched the wood of the cabin, holding on to the safety net it provided.
Touching Jake, while kissing him, seemed like an action too hard to come back from.
Too hard to play off as a joke. There would forever be something between us.
Something that happened. Something I wouldn’t be able to forget or gloss over.
I now knew how Jake kissed.
And already that knowledge was changing things. Changing me.
Though his lips never slowed in their exploration, I could feel Jake’s body getting impatient, so I unclenched my quaking hands from the cabin behind me to make the slow journey to land on his chest, where they stayed, lightly clinging to his shirt.
It was nice. A little touching between kissing friends but nothing inappropriate. Nothing that would make either of us blush or—
“Good hell, woman.” Jake broke from me, exasperation in his movements as his hands moved to cover mine at his chest and threw them upward until they landed on his shoulders.
The move brought us closer together, with me now draped around him like a blanket, and like a snap of a twig, Jake’s kiss resumed.
His arms snaked around my waist, squeezing me close to him.
It was a perfect fit. Like I should have been there forever.
And hadn’t I been? I couldn’t imagine a time when I wasn’t wrapped in Jake’s arms.
Jake.
My friend, Jake.
There was a cozy strength to him. His body held mine upward while his arms tucked me into him.
Safe. Bringing back memories of a friendship so dear to me that it nearly brought tears to my eye.
Jake was hugging me. Kissing me. It felt both familiar and new.
Forbidden and comfortable. Like we’d been doing it all our lives.
We hadn’t, though.
My mouth began to dance with his. He was teaching me, I remembered again. I needed to turn off the affectionate part of my brain. It wouldn’t do me any good here. I had asked for help, and this was Jake helping.
Wait. Had I asked for help here?
I quickly told my brain to shut up and did my best to match him step for step as he wove a wild tangle of sensation inside of me, everywhere he touched. His hands were feather soft as they skated across my skin. He moved left, and I fell right.
Right.
Not right.
Wrong.
Right?
Wrong or not, there was a rhythm to this madness, and I was starting to feel the beat. Chalking the moment up to science, I brazenly took my fingers to his neck and ran them underneath the collar of his shirt.
Like he’d been burned with a firebrand, Jake stepped abruptly backward and out of my arms. For the longest moment, we stared at each other in minor confusion, my hands still hanging out in mid-air, missing the sturdy feel of his shoulders, before I dropped them.
They made a loud sound as they smacked against my hips.
For a second, easygoing, never-ruffled Jake, the matchmaking cowboy, seemed at a loss for words.
Had I done that?
Staring at him in the dark after what we’d just done felt like being thrown into an ice bath after a day at the beach. And in the nick of time, deflection, humor, and sarcasm came rushing back to me like an old friend.
“How’d you like my move?”
Jake blinked, his breathing coming in much more even now. “What?”
“My move,” I said, wiping the moisture from my mouth. “The stomach thing?”
Jake’s entire body relaxed as he blew out a breath and cocked his head to the side. “Oh. The part where you held onto my shirt like it was saving you from drowning?”
“Pretty sexy, right?”
He cleared his throat and ran a hand through his hair. “Clearly, I’ve got SO much work to do here.”
“Same time tomorrow?” I quipped.
I laughed.
He laughed.
My heart cried foul.
“You wish. That was a one-time thing. I can’t have you getting attached,” he said, rubbing his neck.
It was light. The words, the smiles, the dancing around what had just happened. But it was enough. I can’t have you getting attached. Jake wasn’t available.
A splash of cold water to the face.
“Well, thanks for…that. I always knew you were more of a hangout friend.” I patted his cheek with gusto before sliding out from between him and the wall, finally feeling grounded again for the first time since we’d stepped out onto the porch. Needing the distance between us.
And what we’d just done.