Chapter 29
JAKE
It had been a long time since I’d worn the gray suit. I had definitely grown a couple of inches and put on some muscle since the last time. Which was great except when I had no time to scrounge up anything else. But because I was who I was, I threw on my cowboy boots to help me feel more at home.
The pre-dinner appetizers began in Eugene’s town hall, located near the fairgrounds where the rodeo would take place later tonight.
The smoky scent of steak and fried potatoes wafted through the air from a kitchen in the back, and I decided to bypass the waiters carrying trays of stuffed mushrooms and questionable things wrapped in a pastry and wait for the main course.
Round tables draped with fancy white cloths filled the center of the space, looking at odds in a room full of cowboys in ill-fitted suits and pulling at too-tight collars.
Most of us mingled on the side, talking and telling stories.
I spent most of my time laughing with Dusty and shaking hands with rodeo buddies and a few of my dad’s old friends.
My dad was in the room too. So far, I’d avoided him.
It hadn’t been hard to do that, since he had a good portion of the room clustered around him, hanging on his every word. I glanced at the clock.
There was a nervous buzz of energy around me that felt foreign to my body. I didn’t remember nerves like this, but I also didn’t feel anything like the cocky cowboy that used to strut around with some of these people. I took a deep breath through my nose while checking the doors for my date.
Suddenly, my dad stood in front of me. He wore a fitted black suit and tie, with black boots that looked like they hadn’t seen a lick of dirt. He held a bottle of water in his hand, which was a far cry from the way he used to smell like he’d fallen into a keg after every one of his rodeos.
I nodded toward his water bottle.
“You’re drinking a bit lighter than you used to.”
He caught my meaning, and his chin raised slightly. “Been drinking light for about two years now.”
My brows raised. “How’s that been going?”
“It was hard for a while. Sometimes, it still is. My body’s always going to crave it. But it’s been good for me too.”
I nodded, unsure of what to say.
“It turns out…” he trailed off, like he couldn’t believe he’d started the sentence, before he forced himself to keep going.
He swiped at his face, and I noticed his hands were shaking.
“It turns out that too much alcohol can help a man keep forgetting about some of the bad things he’s done.
Most of the time, having a constant buzz was an easier place to be. ”
I stiffened, hearing all the things he wasn’t saying. It was too late, I told myself. This fixed nothing. But I could feel my traitorous body soaking everything in like water to a sponge.
“Anyway, I’m not riding tonight. But I’m excited to finally get to watch you. I’m just sorry I’m about fifteen years too late.”
The mayor appeared just then, whisking my dad’s attention away. I turned and walked in another direction, grateful for the distraction. Hate is a much easier emotion to harbor. Everything else was too complicated to sort through.
“Where’s Shelby?” Dusty asked, coming beside me with Lucy when we found ourselves alone for the first minute all night. He wrapped his arm around his wife, pulling her close. She smiled gently at me, her short brown hair and glasses making her appear younger than she was.
“You did ask her, right?” he said, looking at me like I’d lied to him.
Dusty had put on a few pounds in his life as a married man. His brown hair had begun to thin at the top. But it looked good on him. Happiness looked good on him. He had two kids now, one close to Sophie’s age and another two-year-old. A sweet wife. He’d found a good one.
The look he was giving me now, I could do without.
“Yeah. It was her dad’s birthday dinner tonight, but Chad was going to drop her off after. She should have been here by now.”
Dusty looked like he had more to say, but thankfully, another rodeo friend of his came to take his attention.
I started to feel annoyed with myself and the way my body seemed unable to settle completely unless she was right by my side.
Like how I hadn’t had a decent night’s sleep since our nap on the couch.
I’d been through a lot of life the past few years without Shelby.
After Miranda, I could handle anything. My eyes flicked once more to the doorway, only to come back disappointed.
“Jake!” a booming voice called out before slapping me on the back. I turned to see Carl, an old rodeo mentor, smiling at me.
“You riding Old Devil tonight?”
I grinned, shaking his hand, grateful to have something else to concentrate on. The bronc in question had definitely lived up to his name, and I was sincerely glad I hadn’t drawn it tonight.
“I sure hope not.”
Carl laughed and dove right in with old stories, producing the first real smile on my face all night.
And then Carl did the thing I wasn’t expecting. Squeezing my shoulder, he motioned to a woman talking to a group of people I hadn’t noticed. She wore a tight black dress, and I tensed when her eyes were way too excited to see me.
“Remember, Ellie? My granddaughter? She used to fawn over you like a newborn calf when I brought her to the rodeos back in the day.”
“Grandpa!” she protested, smacking his arm as she smiled sheepishly in my direction.
I squinted and took in the petite brunette with new eyes.
“Holy cow, I do remember you.” I gave her a friendly smile while my stomach tightened slightly. “You’re making me feel old.”
“She’s finishing up at Boise State this next year,” Carl said proudly.
I nodded and wondered how to make my exit. She was looking at me the way Easton had looked at Shelby. I pulled at the tie around my neck. My eyes flicked to Carl’s, and I was dismayed to see him watching both of us with interest.
Keeping my voice casual and friendly, I smiled at Ellie, “Well, don’t break too many hearts up that way,“ at the same time that she said, “If you’re not busy, maybe we could do something together after the rodeo.”
The smile on my face froze while my old coach watched me expectantly.
“Hey, babe. Sorry, I’m late.”
Suddenly, Shelby was at my side, smelling like a Florida beach and sliding her hand through the crook of my arm. She smiled at Carl and Ellie, leaning forward to shake their hands and making small talk, all the while giving my arm a light squeeze.
And just like that, my entire body exhaled.
Unable to help myself, I turned to look at her.
Shelby was in a dress.
I knew she would be. The invitation said formal attire, hence the reason for my overly snug suit coat.
But I hadn’t mentally prepared myself for the knowledge of just what she would look like.
A soft, baby-blue number hit her knees and tied around her neck, leaving most of her shoulders and collarbone exposed.
I didn’t need the dress to understand this fact— I wasn’t blind— but that didn’t stop my next thought from smacking me in the face after Carl and Ellie made their exit and she turned to me, smiling proudly.
Shelby was a stone-cold fox.
“How’d I do?” she asked me, mischief and satisfaction bubbling out of her. “Did I get the safe, non-dating, dating vibe just right?”
Her hand still clutched my arm, and for a second, my eyes roamed over her face. I would have stayed there and taken my time counting the smattering of freckles across her nose, but she was waiting for me to say something.
“Not bad.” I smiled at her. “You must have a good coach.”
“My coach has been kind of lazy lately,” she said as she reached up and swiped the annoying patch of hair off my forehead. “You need a haircut.”
“You’ve been saying that all summer.”
“It’s worse now because your hair is actually combed.”
“Real cowboys like it like this,” I said, flicking the wayward hair back onto my forehead.
“Liar. I could do it for you,” Shelby offered before reaching up to move it again, her fingertips brushing ever so slightly against my skin.
“I’m good,” I said. With the way my blood was racing just now, I was certain I wouldn’t be able to handle Shelby’s hands in my hair for any sort of haircut.
“Besides, real cowboys are supposed to be decent shots too, and we both know how that turned out for you,” she said.
“Any good coach would let you win a few. To help your confidence.”
“How considerate of you.”
“I thought so.”
We were standing toe to toe, my hands in my pockets, her arms folded, grinning at each other before I came back to myself.
I glanced around the room, attempting to pick something else in the room to focus on besides the redhead.
Nothing held my interest.
“You ready?” Dusty asked later that night as we leaned against the fence in the back corrals near the chutes. We’d finished dinner, and all the participants had scattered to change their clothes and head to the fairgrounds where the crowds were starting to arrive.
The Eugene rodeo arena sat on the outskirts of the county fairground.
A large, covered grandstand stood tall, facing the individual eight chutes that would eventually hold the angry broncs and bulls the cowboys would ride.
A dusty, dirt-filled arena wrapped around between the grandstand and the chutes in a huge oval, with more bleachers on the outsides and a fence around the perimeter, protecting the crowds from the animals.
“Just like riding a bike,” I lied, while Dusty only laughed.
The familiar smell of dirt and cattle filtered through the air, along with fried dough and spiced nuts from the county fair going on outside the arena.
There was an excited buzz in the air all around us, and for the first time since I’d left Shelby’s side, I found myself smiling.
It wasn’t necessarily what I was about to do that had me bouncing on the balls of my feet but the feeling of the whole place.