Chapter 8
SAGE
I lied to Brady. I don’t have to get home so Fiona can have her car back. She’s not expecting me until this evening. But I didn’t trust myself to stay with Brady for much longer, or I might have done something I really shouldn’t have. Like asking for a hug.
Back at Fiona’s, the apartment is empty, and so is my stomach. The apple and croissant I devoured with Brady did the trick of easing the nausea, but now I’m starved. At least, I think that’s why I feel the way I do, but it could also be from panic.
Because holy shit, I found Brady, and now I actually have to stay on Vancouver Island for the next several months.
Which means I need a place to live, and a job, fast.
But first, food. I get another croissant and whip up a quick veggie sandwich before settling on the couch with my laptop. Yet, even once I’ve had something to eat, that gnawing sensation in my gut remains. I set the laptop to the side and let my head fall back against the couch.
I thought I had imagined how comfortable I felt around Brady the few hours we were together back in January. It had to have been in my head. How could I feel that way about someone I just met?
But then, the second I laid eyes on him in the freaking grocery store, of all places, I knew I hadn’t imagined it. Simply being near him again made so much of the tension and stress seep out of my body. Only my mom and Fiona have ever made me feel so comfortable, so peaceful.
I feel my eyes grow damp again. “Damn hormones,” I mutter under my breath, blinking rapidly.
Letting my eyes close, I bring a picture of my mom to mind. Not the way she was at the end, sick and fading away, but from before. When she was vibrant, and full of love, and the very best person in the world.
She would’ve been such an amazing grandma.
“What do you think of Brady, Mama?”
Nothing happens, of course. No mystical message from the beyond. But my stomach does finally start to settle. Must be from the sandwich.
I open my eyes, grab my laptop again, and after pressing play on an upbeat playlist from one of my favourite artists, I get to work, searching for jobs and apartments.
And that’s how my friend finds me, hunched over the screen, reading through potential postings at the nearby hospital
“You know, I do pay the electricity bill,” she says wryly as she flips on the lights in the living room.
I blink up at her, shocked to realize it’s now dark outside—and inside, apparently. “Wow. What time is it?”
“Around 6:30,” she replies, opening the fridge and bringing two canned mocktails over to where I’m sitting. “Whatcha doing?”
“Checking out job opportunities at the Cedar Creek hospital and looking for places to rent.” I crack open the nonalcoholic margarita and drink deeply. “Mmm, thanks for this.”
“No problem. So, jobs, huh? Does that mean you’re sticking around for a while?”
I arch a brow at her. “Ask me what you really want to know, Fi.”
She flops back against the couch with a dramatic groan. “Okay, fine! Did you get baby daddy’s number? Wait. Was he at the stadium?”
“I didn’t even make it that far.”
Her eyes widen. “Excuse me, what?”
“I had to stop at the store to get a snack on my way to the stadium, and he was there.”
“Stop. You’re lying. Seriously?” Fiona’s eyes bug out of her head.
I nod slowly. “Seriously.” I tell her everything.
She stares at me and then swallows. Gives her head a small shake, and then says, “Okay, that’s just…wow. Wait, how did he react when you told him about the baby? Swear to God, if he wasn’t nice about it, I’ll kick his ass.”
I roll my eyes affectionately at her protectiveness. “Down, girl, down.” My nose scrunches up, and Fiona, being the observant bitch she is, points a finger at me.
“What’s that look for? What happened?”
It’s my turn to let my body fall back against the couch, covering my face with my hands.
“He was perfect, that’s what. I kept waiting for him to slip, for some hint of him being less than amazing to show through, and it didn’t.
Seriously, he seemed excited about the baby.
Like, fully on board, ready for anything.
He wants to come to all the appointments and meet me weekly so we can get to know each other.
Basically, whatever I need or want from him, he’ll provide.
” By the end, my voice is sounding hysterical, even to my ears.
“And this is a problem, why?” Fiona says slowly.
I’m silent for a minute or two, not really wanting to voice my thoughts out loud. “If he had turned out to be a loser, I wouldn’t have to stay. The choice would be mine. But he’s not a loser, so I have to stay. I have to give him a chance. He deserves it, and our baby deserves it.”
“So him being a good guy so far is a problem because it makes the decision for you?”
“When you put it like that, I feel like a selfish bitch,” I force out a self-deprecating laugh.
“Well, I mean,” Fiona says, nudging me. “I’m kidding. It’s not selfish to want to feel some control over everything right now. But would you have really left?”
I roll my head to look at her. “No,” I say softly, lacing my hand with hers. “I was going to stay for a while anyway. I don’t want to go through this pregnancy alone.”
“Oh, Sage.” Fiona squeezes me even tighter. “You’re not going to be alone. This baby will have me, I swear. Even if you move away, I’ll be like a leech and never let go.”
I half laugh, half sob. “That’s gross, but thanks, I think.
” I heave out a long sigh, wiping more tears that fall.
“I’m terrified to think about the future too much.
But I don’t have a choice, do I? A baby changes everything.
I can’t pick up and move all over the country as easily as I did.
I need a steady income, benefits, I’ll have to think about school districts and childcare, and—”
Fiona slaps her hand loosely over my mouth. “You’re spiraling again. Breathe. C’mon, nice and slow. In and out through your nose.” She forces me to keep her gaze as we breathe in and out together several times. I swallow back more tears.
“How did I get so lucky to still have you in my life?” I whisper, and Fiona just pats my arm.
“I just told you, I’m a leech. Have been since third grade when we teamed up against Polly Santiago, remember?”
Grabbing a tissue out of the box on the table next to the couch, I wipe my face dry. “My favourite leech, that’s for sure. Even if you did steal my purple scented marker and try to blame it on Polly.”
“I swear, she took it!” Fiona protests, but her nudge down memory lane did the trick. I’m no longer spiraling.
I draw in a deep breath and square my shoulders.
“So, I’m staying. Which means I need a job and a place to live in Cedar Creek.
The agency that books my contracts emailed me back and said I can go in tomorrow to meet with HR at the hospital.
It’s not a huge facility, but they do have a few positions open. ”
“That’s great about the job, but why can’t you stay here with me?”
“Because I don’t have a car, and I can’t sleep on a couch forever.” The ache in my lower back agrees with that statement a little too strongly, but I don’t tell her that.
“Darn. Okay, well, we can find somewhere super cute in Cedar Creek, I bet.”
Spinning my computer around, I grimace. “You’d think, but the rental market is nonexistent over there.”
“Crap.” She scans the page I have open, shaking her head. “Well, maybe you can get a discount on a hotel room if you stay long-term. At least for a little while, and then maybe something will come up for rent.”
“I guess that’s what I’ll have to do. It’s not my first choice, staying in hotels always feels weird somehow. Temporary.”
“Girl, you’re the queen of temporary,” Fiona teases.
I roll my eyes and finish the rest of my drink before I answer. “Yeah, I know. But I still like to have a home base for however long I’m in one place, and a hotel just doesn’t feel the same.”
Typing away at my keyboard for a second, she looks up and turns the computer back to face me. “I hear you, but this one is close to the hospital and offers a discount for stays over two weeks.”
I look at what she’s found, and at least it looks clean and is reasonably priced. I nod. “Okay, that’ll work for now, I guess. Any chance of you taking me over there tomorrow? I can get my stuff moved into the hotel and go to the hospital to see how soon I can start.”
“Of course. I’ve got an appointment in the morning but we can go after that. But only if we can talk about your baby daddy some more.” Fiona clasps her fingers, holding them under her chin and giving me a pleading look. “Pretty please? I need to live vicariously through you.”
I snort out a laugh. “Yeah, okay, because a beefy baseball player is just your type.”
Pretending to look offended, and failing, she fires back, “I’m bisexual. I still find men attractive, until they open their mouths.”
We both start to laugh, and conversation becomes impossible as we give in to the giggles.
Eventually our laughter dies. We’re leaning into each other now, and it feels so good to be with someone who knows me as well as she does.
Who understands—as much as anyone can—why I’m the way I am, and why I have the insecurities I do.
“I think he could be a really good guy, and that scares the crap out of me.”
Fiona shifts so she’s got one arm around my shoulders, the sides of our heads resting together. “I know. But sometimes we have to face the scary stuff to get to the good stuff.”
“When did you get so wise?”
“About five minutes ago. I’m gonna be an auntie soon, you know. I need to practice my advice giving.”
I loop my arms around her and hug her tightly. “You’re doing pretty good so far.”
No matter what happens over the next few months, at least I have Fiona.