11. Rule #11 Everyone masturbates.
Amelia
My arm is linked with Weston’s as we walk side by side down the street.
“Do you know the last night I had off?” he asks, cuddling closer to me. “I needed this. And I don’t want to go anywhere near a bar, speakeasy, or club.”
I laugh, cuddling closer to him too as we walk. “Deal.”
“So has that cute, clumsy American texted you yet?”
I blush, a smile creeping across my face. “Yes. He texted me the next day, actually.”
“Spill. My sex life has been so fucking abysmal lately, I need to live vicariously through you.”
“Ha!” I say loudly. “Me? You’re better off asking Freya when she gets here.”
I haven’t told either of my best friends about the incident in the voyeur room. It’s practically eating me alive to keep it from them, but it feels too personal for Matis. And I can’t betray his trust.
Just then, a vision in blue and purple turns the corner and comes walking toward us.
“Oh my gosh, is she alone?” Weston asks with astonishment.
“It’s a miracle!” I reply.
Freya throws her head back and laughs. “I do have a life outside my relationship,” she says defensively. As she comes up to meet us, we exchange hugs, and it feels good to be with the two people who I can just relax and be myself around.
“Not much of one,” I tease.
She curls a lock of hair behind her ear. “You wouldn’t want to leave either if you knew what I was doing all afternoon.”
I screw up my face in disgust as Weston grabs her arms.
“Please tell me everything.”
Her eyes widen with shock, making me laugh.
“It’s okay. I’ll just pretend it’s Henry Cavill again instead of my brother.”
As the three of us walk down the busy road in the 11th arrondissement, I try my hardest to put all the events of this past week behind me.
That night with Matis in the club created a divide between us.
We still talk and discuss the app, but it’s not the same.
Just when it felt like I was getting closer to him, that happened and now we’re further than ever.
The three of us are going to an immersive digital art exhibit that features Freya’s favorite psychedelic rock music and artwork from Paris’s history. It’s not Weston’s scene at all, but he’s been working so much lately at both Legacy and Geo’s that he desperately needed a night out.
We pick a fondue restaurant for dinner before the show, and while we’re sitting in front of a giant wheel of melting cheese, getting tipsy on bubbly champagne, I get a text on my phone.
There’s a subtle hint of disappointment when I see Jacob’s name on the screen.
Jacob: Hey! I’m gonna shoot my shot here. Would you like to go out for drinks tomorrow night?
With a smirk, staring down at my phone, I hover my fingers over the keys.
A date. This is what I’m supposed to be doing.
Amelia: Sure! I’m in.
He takes a while to respond, and I start to second-guess if my response showed the proper amount of enthusiasm.
Finally, he texts back.
Jacob: Sorry, I was freaking out for a second.
I giggle down at my phone, and Freya notices immediately. “Who are you talking to?”
Judging by the edge of concern in her voice, I can tell she’s hoping that I’m not smiling at messages from Mr. Off-Limits.
It’s not that Freya doesn’t like Matis; she’s just worried about me.
And I don’t blame her. As my best friend, she has courtside seats to my unending romantic torture.
Freya is just Team Whatever Makes Me Happy.
And lately…that hasn’t exactly been my crush.
“Jacob,” I say proudly. “He asked me out on a date tomorrow.” Then I glance down at my phone, and my face falls. “Oh wait.”
There are two long messages from Jacob I haven’t read yet.
Jacob: I desperately hope I’m not about to ruin my chances, but there’s a slight catch to our date tomorrow.
I’m traveling for the summer with my older sister, and I don’t want to just leave her for a whole night.
I hope this isn’t too forward of me to ask…
but I really like you, so I’m just gonna go for it.
Jacob: Do you by any chance have a brother or a single guy friend that wouldn’t mind double-dating with us? I promise she’s perfectly normal and (according to her) attractive. She’s thirty-one and doesn’t mind younger guys.
“What is it?” Freya asks.
“He’s asking me to set his sister up…”
I’m not sure how to respond to this. My mind races, trying to think of who I could set his sister up with who is (a) single, and (b) wouldn’t mind going on a blind double date with me.
“Set his sister up? With who?” Weston asks.
“I don’t know. She’s tagging along so I need someone to double-date with us. Do we know any straight single guys?”
Weston pops a cheese-covered potato into his mouth. “Don’t look at me.”
“That’s a strange request,” Freya says with a grimace.
“They’re visiting Europe for the summer so they’re staying in a rental. And he doesn’t feel comfortable leaving her for the night.”
“If this guy is only here for the summer, then why do you even care to date him?” Freya asks.
Weston wraps an arm around her shoulders. “Amelia’s just trying to get a little of what you had all afternoon.”
Laughing, I shake my head. “No. I want more than that. I really like this guy. Maybe if we hit it off…he could stay?”
Neither of them seems very convinced, but it’s not quite compelling enough to make me want to call this whole thing off. I want this date. I need it to override this terrible week I’ve had.
“What about Matis?” Weston asks.
Freya tenses, her eyes dancing back and forth between me and him.
I’d be stupid to take him on a double date, especially after his last date and how I couldn’t even be in the same building as him and that brunette lady. Now I would have to sit at a table with them and watch him flirt with her and try to seduce her in all his charming Matis ways.
“Maybe…” I mumble to myself.
“No,” Freya barks.
“What’s wrong with Matis?” Weston asks.
Neither of us respond as he stares blankly, waiting for an answer. Finally, I give in with a sigh.
“I have a crush on Matis.”
“No,” Freya interjects. “A crush is drawing hearts around their picture and signing your name with theirs for fun. This is more than a crush, Amelia.”
“Fine,” I relent. “It’s more than a crush. I’m…in love with him.”
Weston only blinks for a while, and I take it to mean this news is not what he was expecting to hear. “Holy shit.”
“Yeah…” I exhale.
“He’s your godfather.”
“I’m aware.”
“Do not take him on that double date,” he adds flatly.
My shoulders sag as I slump back in my chair. “Then I can’t go on it at all.”
Weston is lost in thought as I stare down at my messages with Jacob. I haven’t responded yet, and I’m not sure I will.
Finally, he blurts out, “Actually, I change my mind. Take Matis.”
“What?” Freya and I ask at the same time.
“I saw Matis that night. I heard you tell Geo that he wouldn’t let you swipe right on anyone. And he kept glancing at you during his date.”
“West, what is your point?” I hope he’s not implying what I think he is, because I’m not sure my heart could take it.
“I think he might feel the same way.”
“He doesn’t,” I snap.
“You don’t know that.”
“Yes, I do. And even if Matis did have some sort of feelings for me, he would never act on them. He’s too loyal to my family. It would be too weird.”
Weston tsks at me. “Bullshit.”
I let my mouth hang open. But before I can respond, he continues.
“Amelia, there is a thirty-five-year age difference between your parents. Liam’s parents were stepsiblings, and my parents were best friends who became a throuple. This is hardly the family who would judge you for falling for your godfather. If anything…it just makes you fit in more.”
Freya rolls her eyes. “Even so, I don’t like the idea of you putting your heart at risk anymore. Just tell Jacob you don’t have anyone for his sister. If he wants to make you a priority, he will.”
My knee bounces under the table, and I chew on my lower lip. I know I should listen to Freya. She’s right in this scenario, but Weston made the mistake of giving me hope. And now I can’t seem to let it go.
Even if we could never act on it…just to know he sees me as more than his friend’s daughter… It would be enough.
“You really think he feels the same?” I ask.
“Take him on that date and see how he reacts to that cute American boy touching you. If he has a fit, then you’ll have your answer.”
Freya looks defeated as I pick up my phone. With purpose, I quickly type out my response to Jacob.
Amelia: How does she feel about older men?
Jacob: I don’t care. She can go on a date with a box of macarons for all I care.
I laugh to myself as I quickly reply.
Amelia: That won’t be necessary. I’ll bring a friend. He’s great with the ladies, and your sister will have a great time.
I’m not going to lie. Typing that sentence didn’t feel good at all. But it’s what I have to do.
If Weston is right, I’ll have my answer. I’m not sure what I’ll do with that information, but at least I’ll know.
Hopefully, though, he’s wrong. Because either way, there’s no version of this story that ends with me and Matis together. Regardless of what Weston says, I’m not the one who would face the shame and guilt that Matis would.
And I care about him too much to put him through that.
Jacob: Excellent! See you tomorrow!
With forced enthusiasm and renewed purpose, I type out my response.
Amelia: See you tomorrow.
After the exhibit, Freya heads home to be with her fiancés. Weston calls it a night, and I head back to the club. I could easily go home, which is probably what I should do, but I have this sense of unfinished business that’s been bothering me.
Once I get to the club, I tell myself I’m going to head upstairs. Naturally, that’s not where I go. Why? Because tonight is not like every other night in the club.
It’s Friday, and one Friday a month, we have masquerade night. It’s something we’ve been doing here since Matis owned it. I think it might have even been a tradition from Salacious, but we try to provide our members with a chance to be more anonymous in the club.