11. Rule #11 Everyone masturbates. #2
It allows for more liberation. Gives people courage they might not have otherwise.
How do I know this?
Because tonight I am one of those people.
Heading down to the lower level, I snatch a free mask from the bowl by the entrance, and I slip it on. Then I enter the club with the intent to only watch.
I won’t touch anyone tonight. I won’t do anything but what Matis encouraged me to do. He told me to explore this newfound part of myself, so that’s what I’m doing.
The club is packed tonight. We hand out extra day passes on nights like this to bring in potential members. The lights are very low, and the music is bumping. It feels more like a regular club tonight, so I have to squeeze through the crowd as I make my way around the space.
I prepared myself for this. Timing my Adderall dosage today, I knew that between the exhibit and this, I would need to be leveled out in order to endure it.
Something about the masquerade mask helps too, though.
As if it separates me from the room, puts me behind a wall that’s quiet, dark, and all my own.
If all else fails, I’ve got a gummy in my purse and an exit strategy.
When I reach the VIP booths, I lean against one alone and keep my eyes glued on the dance floor. There’s a horde of people moving to the music, and it appears to be only dancing.
With a little disappointment, I make my way toward another part of the club.
And that’s when I see them. It’s nobody I know, only strangers, but it’s a group of people taking up one of the large booths in the corner.
These tables are designed specifically for group activities.
The surface height is low, and unlike other establishments, it’s encouraged for guests to climb, stand, sit, dance… and, well, get screwed on top of them.
Which is exactly what they’re doing. There’s a woman lying across the center with her legs draped over someone else’s shoulders—man or woman, I can’t tell, because its dark and they’re currently so far between her legs, they are indistinguishable.
There’s a woman leaning over and kissing her so passionately it’s hard to look away. It appears to be four—no, wait, five—people, and seeing them completely indulge in each other is exhilarating to watch. They are so liberated. So fearless.
The two men at the back of the booth are kissing as intensely as the women, both of their hands moving and groping the other.
I’m currently hidden in the shadows as I watch them, and I think back to what Matis said. They want me to watch. That’s why they are doing it in the open. They could easily get a room if they preferred privacy, but that’s clearly not what they are going for.
So I watch.
My mind quiets. My heart rate picks up, but instead of getting swept up in a panic, I let it wash over me, focusing more on my body than on my mind. There’s something about the effect it has on my nervous system that keeps me locked in. The arousal brewing in my core drowns out the noise.
How have I never discovered this before? Why have I spent so long brushing off this part of myself instead of embracing it?
I’ve never liked porn much. I always find it too intense. The perverse vulgarity of it is an overload for my system.
Reading erotica usually works, but I’d often get too distracted, and much like porn, it always feels like too much too soon.
But this…this is real. These are real people, and they like to be watched—judging by the other people lingering and letting their gazes flash back to the table. But the group is not performing. They are doing what feels good. Indulging in what they were created to do.
My core aches to be touched, but I won’t do that here. Besides, that’s not why I’m doing this. I just wanted to experiment a bit.
Just as I’m about to turn around and head toward the exit, my gaze locks with a pair of eyes at the table. Blood rushes to my cheeks as one of the girls waves me over.
“Join us,” she calls with a flirtatious smile.
I wave a hand at her to politely say no. Then I quickly turn away and rush toward the exit.
I don’t stop as I dash up the stairs. I continue toward the stairwell that leads to the offices above us.
My feet carry me in a rapid pace all the way down the hall to my studio. Once inside, I slam the door closed. Without even ripping my masquerade mask off, I lie back on the long white table.
My hand goes between my legs, my skirt falling open as I find my throbbing clit. Biting my lip, I hold back my cries of ecstasy as I bring myself to the brink of pleasure.
It’s a quick and easy orgasm, carrying the feeling from downstairs with me as I come. Not just the vision of what they were doing but how it felt to watch them. To suddenly be so in tune with my own body as if I have unlocked its secret code.
When the climax peaks, I moan loudly, my back writhing on the table.
And when I come down, I don’t feel that sweeping shame I sometimes feel when I masturbate. This one feels as natural as breathing.
With a satisfied sigh, I collapse against the table. Feeling renewed and confident, I smile in the dim room where no one can see me.
Then, for some reason, I fish my phone out, eager to share with the one person I spoke to about this.
Amelia: I did it.
Matis: I’m scared to ask.
Matis: Did what?
My chuckle echoes in the dark room. I bite my lip and consider if this makes me out of my mind to want to share this with him.
Amelia: I watched.
Matis: Hopefully they knew you were in the room this time.
I laugh again.
Amelia: It was during masquerade night. I watched a group in a booth.
Matis: And? What did you discover?
Amelia: It was incredible. Why haven’t I tried this before? For once, I wasn’t all up in my head. I wasn’t thinking about anything except for how it made me feel. I loved it.
Matis: I’m happy for you, Trouble.
Matis: Where are you now? Are you alone in the club?
Amelia: I’m in my office.
Matis: At this time of night?
Shit. How do I explain this?
Amelia: I just came up here for some peace and quiet.
Matis: Oh.
Amelia: I’m serious! Just peace and quiet.
I let out a scream as his text comes through.
Matis: Everyone masturbates, Amelia.
Amelia: This conversation is over!
Matis: Why? Because I said masturbate?
Amelia: Good night, Matis!
Matis: No Métro, Trouble. Call Lucien to take you home.
Even though I’m alone, my cheeks are burning with embarrassment. After I sit up, I fix my dress and walk down to the employee bathroom on our floor to wash up before calling our family’s private driver to take me home.
After washing my hands, my phone lights up on the counter. Looking down, I bite back my smile as I read the message.
Matis: I’m proud of you, Trouble.