13. Rule #13 Don’t make eye contact with your crush when you’re about to kiss your date.
Amelia
Olivia is prettier than I expected. Annoyingly so. And I can’t tell if Matis actually finds her conversation engaging or if he’s just pretending to appease me.
She’s very loud and boisterous, constantly stealing the conversation with jokes and stories about their travels. Across from me, Jacob fidgets uncomfortably with the way his sister is dominating the double date.
“You’ve had a good trip then?” I ask, aiming my question at Jacob. He nods with a grin but stumbles over his response before he’s able to voice it. I can tell he’s shy and slightly awkward, a detail I found endearing and cute when I first met him.
“So tell me, Matis,” Olivia says, leaning over the table toward him. I hate the way she says his name, drawing out the sharp s like it’s a novelty. He is unfazed. “What sort of women do you normally date?”
“Trouble,” he replies with a flirtatious smirk.
My head snaps up, staring at him with astonishment that he would say that to her. That’s what he calls me. But if he meant anything by it, he’s not letting it show now.
Olivia giggles as she brings her glass to her pink-stained lips.
“So…” Jacob stammers. “You grew up in Paris?”
My feet dance under the table, and I’ve practically worn a hole through my bottom lip. Curling my too-short hair behind my ear, I nod. “Yes, I did.”
“You don’t have an accent,” Olivia remarks loudly as if she’s caught me in a lie.
I clench my teeth and force a smile. “I know. It’s probably because I grew up around so many Americans. We spoke English in our home and with friends.”
“Amelia speaks beautiful French, though,” Matis says proudly as he rests a hand between my shoulder blades.
His hand feels like an anchor. It holds me in place, calming my nerves and reminding me that I’m not alone. All too soon, he pulls it away.
“Thank you,” I whisper in response to his compliment.
“Will you say something in French?” Olivia asks, leaning closer to him. Even her brother looks uncomfortable now, and it takes everything in me to appear calm and normal, but my insides feel like I’m being lit on fire from the inside out.
Matis chuckles, opening his mouth to answer her request. But then his eyes find me, and I see the moment he notices my behavior.
His hand returns to my back, slightly distracted as he rubs small circles at the top of my spine.
“Sorry, what did you ask?” he says to Olivia.
She laughs and glances down at her drink. “Never mind.”
From the moment we met up with Jacob and Olivia, I’ve watched Matis for signs that Weston’s suspicions were true, but so far, he’s seemed the perfect gentleman focused only on Olivia.
And I’ve tried. I really have tried to feel as if I’m on a date with Jacob, but I can’t seem to commit to it in my head.
My thoughts are scattered in too many directions at once.
I’m focused on Matis’s tone and eyes. The noise in the bar. The way my skirt’s tag is itching my lower back. The heavy interest in Jacob’s gaze.
“Will you excuse me?” I ask, trying in vain to tuck my hair behind my ear again, only for it to fall back to its place framing my face.
Jacob nods, looking as overwhelmed as I feel. Then I jump up from my seat and scurry toward the bathroom. Normally, I’d head to the door, but I’m trying to toughen up. Putting myself through more than I have to…more than I’m capable of, which only irritates me more.
Inside the sleek and modern bathroom with gold-framed mirrors and silver-plated floor tiles, I splash water on my face, avoiding the mascara around my eyes. With cold hands, I hold my cheeks and try to settle my nerves.
This was a mistake. It’s too much.
Then the door of the bathroom opens, and Olivia walks in. To my surprise, her expression is genuine and concerned.
“Hey, you okay?” she asks in a motherly tone as she crowds me, placing her hands on my arms.
I nod, lying as the walls continue to close in. The music plays loudly in the bar, echoing in the bathroom like it’s pounding on the walls and trying to get in.
“I’m sorry for talking so much,” she says with a chuckle. Moving to the mirror, she fusses with her hair and cleans up the lines of her lipstick with her finger. “I do that when I get nervous. Your friend is so nice, and so are you.”
Forcing a tight grin, I try to appear casual and forgiving. “You’re not talking too much. You and your brother are really nice too.”
“He really likes you,” she says with a smirk like she’s telling me something she’s not supposed to.
“I like him too.” Which is true. Jacob is perfectly normal and nice and adequate for me. Exactly the guy I should be dating. He’d be the perfect boyfriend to get me over my life-stunting crush.
“You guys should dance or something. Get some time alone to just talk. So I can’t steal the show with my awkwardness anymore.”
When she laughs, it’s infectious enough to make me smile earnestly. Maybe she’s right. This night isn’t a total wash. I should get some time alone with Jacob. I’m fairly certain that if he kisses me tonight, it might be enough to distract me from Matis and this sensory overload.
“Yeah, you’re right. We should.”
“Yay,” she squeals, clapping her hands together with too much enthusiasm. I’m taking this as a sign that she’s a little drunk.
Then she wraps a hand around my shoulder and walks me back out the door of the bathroom like we’re suddenly old friends. I’m really trying my best here to like her, but for some reason, she’s making it difficult.
I’ve almost completely given up on Weston’s ideas about Matis. It feels more obvious to me now that I’m just his goddaughter.
When we reach the table, Matis is clearly carrying the conversation with vigor. Jacob’s face lights up when he sees me, but Matis does the opposite. His brows furrow and he watches me with focused concern.
“I was just telling Amelia that you two should go dance or get some time alone. Matis and I are totally hogging the conversation anyway. This way, you two could get to know each other,” Olivia says.
Jacob bursts out of his seat. “Sure!”
When he puts out his hand, I slide mine in it, palm to palm. Then I let him lead me out to the dance floor of the club. It’s nothing like our dance floor in Legacy, of course. But there is a small sitting area around it that we head to first.
“Maybe we can just talk alone for a second first,” he says in my ear, and I answer him with an acquiescent nod.
The strobe lights overhead are frazzling my brain a little, but I power through and try to focus only on Jacob. We find an empty tall table to stand around together. And he wastes no time to get a word in.
“You look so beautiful tonight.”
“Thank you,” I mumble with a grin.
“I’m so glad you came out. I really like you.”
“I like you too,” I reply.
Jacob starts talking about his trip and their plans, but I feel a pair of guarded gray eyes on my back the entire time. Trying to look natural, I turn over my shoulder to find Matis staring at me.
His gaze is intensely focused on me, and he almost seems disgruntled. Hope blossoms like a flower in my chest. Is this what West was talking about? Is this the sign that Matis has feelings for me like that?
But then his attention is suddenly called back to Olivia, and my hopes are dashed like balloons being shot out of the sky.
“Would you like to dance?”
Quickly turning back toward Jacob, I find him holding out a hand toward me with a warm, inviting look on his face.
Of course, I mean, why wouldn’t I dance? I truly need to put in the effort here, don’t I? For myself, I need to at least try.
“Yeah,” I chirp in response, putting some pep in my step and acting with excitement. I place my hand in Jacob’s and let him lead me out onto the dance floor.
It’s crowded—far too much so for my comfort, but I suck it up. Focus on his smile, his hands, the beat, my body as it moves in sync with his.
And before long, something miraculous and unexpected happens.
I have fun.
Jacob puts his hands around my waist, and I move in closer to him, letting the rhythm bring us together.
When he smiles, I breathe a bit lighter.
There is undeniable attraction in his eyes.
He really likes me, and I do like him. The shyness in his gestures and the warmth in his smile loosens the tension inside me.
When our eyes collide, caught in the moment, I know he’s going to lean in for a kiss maybe even before he does.
He inches closer, and I wet my lips in anticipation. But then I peer over his shoulder, noticing a pair of dark steel eyes watching me, and the room grows stifling and small.
Like someone flipped a switch, the temperature around us spikes.
Jacob leans in, and I lean away.
My mind becomes a cacophony of thoughts and fears all jumbled into one until it’s deafening and debilitating.
Jacob isn’t the one I want. Matis is.
What am I doing?
Why am I faking it?
What if Matis does love me and I’m ruining it?
“Everything okay?” Jacob asks over the bass of the music.
“I need—” I back away, wincing against the lights and the crowd and the music. Like an avalanche, everything hits me at once.
His hands tighten around my arms, not in a harsh, painful way but in a desperate, worried way. Still, it’s too much. I pull back again.
“I need air!” I call out, but he only tugs me closer again.
“What happened?” he pleads.
I’m about to snap. I’m about to scream and cry and yell, my temper growing stronger than my ability to control it. I haven’t had a real overload fit in a long time, and it makes me feel like a child, but I can’t help it.
Just as I open my mouth to scream at him, fire and heat flooding my cheeks, I’m engulfed in a warm, familiar scent. A tall, comforting body takes up the space between me and Jacob. Time slows as I glance upward at my godfather holding me delicately in his arms.
Without a word, Matis ushers me out of the crowd. His body is my shield, moving me safely through the throng. I clutch him because he is safe.
He is safe because he knows.
He knows me. He knows what I need. He knows everything without me having to bear the weight of explaining.