37. Rule #37 Sharing is fun, but reclaiming is even better. #2
For the rest of the night, he and I dance. Sometimes with others and sometimes with each other. I’ve never felt so liberated and sexual.
I do like watching, and I really like watching other people think they can take what belongs to me. But this part, the reclaiming, the knowing who he really wants, that’s what really turns me on.
One thing I’ve learned is that no one—no one—works a crowd at a sex club like Matis.
Sitting across from him at one of the giant booths in the back, I watch as he’s approached by men, women, couples, groups, and it’s so clear to me as I watch him that this is at least part of what I fell in love with.
His charm. The attention he gives to each person. So focused on each one. I can’t help but smile as I watch the way they flock to him.
Through the club lights, his eyes find mine as if we’re holding secrets no one else in the bar knows. I could live in his gaze forever.
Much like they do on nights like these, our large booth has grown crowded. No one knows us, not really. But everyone wants everyone, and it’s exhilarating to be a part of it.
The thing I love about this place is that it’s really about so much more than sex. This is where people come together. Where they feel liberated. Where they can take on new roles and try on new personas.
There is nothing quite like it.
“Peekaboo.”
Quickly, I turn toward the source of the deep voice to find a man sliding into the booth next to me. His voice seems familiar, and when he lowers his mask and shoots me a wink, I gasp. Geo.
He chuckles. He’s leaning his back against the booth with a drink in his hand as he watches men and woman fawn over the flirtatious man across from us.
“What is wrong with young men these days? A beautiful girl like you sitting here alone, and none of them have the balls to come talk to you.”
“I don’t like young men…or haven’t you figured that out yet?” I tease, making him smile with his lips against the rim of his glass.
“I have noticed. So what’s he doing all the way over there?”
Stifling my own smirk, I reply, “This is fun to watch.” Matis is out of earshot on the other side of the large square booth, and with the music bumping, he can’t make out a word we’re saying anyway.
Geo’s brows hop up with surprise. “You like to watch your man flirting with others?”
At this, I turn and look into his eyes. “I don’t know. Do you think I’m weird?”
His face lights up with warmth. “No, I don’t think you’re weird.”
“I love him,” I confess out of the blue.
I’ve only had one drink tonight, but still I feel as if my lips are looser than normal.
Maybe it’s the exhilaration of finally finding myself.
“I’ve had a crush on him since I was old enough to know what crushes were.
And I think, in some way, it’s because I love him so much that it turns me on to think about him with other people.
Like getting to appreciate something beautiful from a new angle. ”
A grin slowly morphs across Geo’s face. “And it doesn’t make you jealous?”
“Jealous of what? He loves me.”
He shoots me a tilted glare.
“Okay,” I admit with a laugh. “I did get a little jealous on the dance floor when some woman was touching him mostly because I could read her mind. She thought for a second that she had a piece of him. But then I scared her away and took him back, and that turned out to be very hot.”
With an appreciative look, he grins. “Do you have any idea how many people I’ve watched fall head over heels for that man?
He doesn’t know his own strength, truly.
He is charming and kind and sexy as hell, and everyone he meets adores him.
But…” As his voice trails, his eyes find me. “He loves you.”
My heart beats harder in my chest as a sense of power and adoration floods my bloodstream. He does love me. He could have anyone in the world, and he picks me.
“Maybe we’re perfect for each other. Because I don’t want to change Matis. I want him to always be the sexy, flirty Casanova he’s always been.”
Geo chuckles. “I think you two are definitely perfect for each other. If you truly appreciate him in his element, then I think he has found the partner of his dreams.”
With that, I smile to myself. Taking a sip of my drink, I pray that I truly am the partner of Matis’s dreams. In so many ways, I fear I’ll never measure up. I’m just a young, naive woman, and he’s been taking lovers longer than I’ve been alive.
Glancing across the booth, I see one of the women currently talking to him try to pull him toward the dance floor. Politely, he shakes his head with a smile.
He’s refusing them for me.
“Geo,” I say with an idea blossoming in my mind. “Would you do me a favor?”
He clears his throat, wearing a mischievous expression as if he knows that what I’m about to ask is going to be naughty. “Yes.”
“Will you go over there and kiss him for me? Tell him I said you could.”
He takes another sip of his drink. “Just kiss?”
“Let me see how I feel about that first,” I say after taking a deep breath. “If I don’t come over there and stop it…and he says it’s okay…you can do more.”
“Yes, ma’am,” Geo replies. As he moves to climb out from the booth, he pauses and turns back toward me. “For what it’s worth, I don’t think you’re strange at all. I think you’re brave, and I think you two must be the real fucking thing if you can have fun like this.”
“We are the real fucking thing,” I reply, smiling at Matis across the table.
Geo slides out of the booth and walks over to Matis’s side. They smile at each other as Geo sits down, placing his drink on the table. Then he leans toward Matis to tell him something in his ear. As Geo speaks, Matis’s eyes are on me, watching me as he hears what I’ve sent his friend over to do.
Instead of dread or worry, he wears an expression of mischief and intrigue.
Leaning forward so my elbows are resting on the table, I watch them. But it’s about more than what they are doing. It’s about how I feel about it. Like an invasive study, I’m checking my own reaction as Matis turns his head toward his friend. Then slowly…their mouths come together in a heated kiss.
My lips part on a small gasp as I watch them. What courses through my mind next surprises me. It’s excitement, heavily flavored arousal, and a whiff of envy. But more than any of those things is pure, intoxicating adoration.
That man, my man, is doing this for me. He has made himself clear that the sexual appetite he’s had for his entire adult life has been quenched by me, and yet he has brought me into his world, opened my eyes to how liberating all this could be.
It’s not about possession and loyalty. It’s about trust and understanding.
Their kiss slowly comes to an end, and my pulse is still thumping quickly through my veins. I want more. I need more.
My eyes connect with Matis as he waits for me to make a call. Leaning forward, I slowly mouth the word, “More.”
He shoots me a lopsided grin as he nods. “More.”
Then, with his eyes still on me, he unzips his pants and adjusts himself until I know beneath the table his cock is out and in his hand. Without tearing his gaze away, he slowly guides Geo’s head toward it.
I’m frozen, waiting for some awful feeling to surge through me. Something strong enough to have me marching over there and screaming at him to stop, but nothing comes.
Instead, I watch as someone else, someone we both know and trust, worships a cock and a man that belongs to me. I’m drunk on this feeling of power as I watch them across the large booth.
Matis tries to fight the expression of pleasure, maybe for my own benefit, and it makes me bite my lip to stifle my smile. But eventually he can’t resist, and his eyes begin to roll back.
I cover my lips because this grin feels downright embarrassing.
What’s truly surprising in this moment is that I don’t feel like I’m behind a wall or curtain at all. If anything, it makes me feel closer to him.
He is mine. He will always be mine. What we have is beyond jealousy or thinly veiled possession. It’s eternal and all-consuming.
When Matis lets out a moan I can hear from here, I feel unable to stay this far away. Following my own intuition and letting my instincts take control, I slowly climb onto the large marble table.
I’m no longer wearing my mask, and honestly…I don’t care if anyone sees me. I’m tired of feeling ashamed. I’m tired of hiding.
Like I told Matis that day, I am a woman with needs and desires like everyone else, and I will not be ashamed of that anymore.
On all fours, I stare directly into his eyes as I slowly crawl toward him, watching the pleasure on his face radiate through his half-lidded eyes and flushed cheeks. When I reach the other side, I’m not concerned with the bobbing head in Matis’s lap. I am enthralled only by the look on his face.
“Hello, Trouble,” he says with a grunt.
Taking his face in my hands, I kiss him fiercely. Not only because I am wildly aroused and ready for him to fuck me like mad right here on this table but because my love for him has reached a new level.
I hardly notice when Geo’s head pops up from Matis’s lap. I only see him out of the corner of my eye as he wipes at his lower lip. Matis’s mouth ravenously kisses the side of my face as I turn toward Geo.
“Thank you.”
He winks at me, and honestly it should be weird, but it’s not. He’s just as experienced in these things as Matis, so instead of letting things get awkward, he only leans in and says, “That man is in love with a capital L.”
Warmth floods my belly. “I know.”