Rule #40 Make him listen. Help him understand.
Matis
Iam not a monster. I’m not some fiend or predator pervert. I am only a man who fell in love.
Like Amelia said, it doesn’t matter what other people think. It only matters what we know in our hearts to be true.
Sitting alone in my apartment, I wring my hands in my lap as I relive the look on Ronan’s face as he put it all together. I betrayed my best friend. I touched his daughter, crossing the one line a man is not supposed to cross.
As if I could help it. As if I could stop myself against the gravitational pull that brought her into my life in this way. It was as inevitable as the tide.
And now she’s over there alone, and I don’t know what to do. Sitting here feels impossible. I wish I had someone to talk to, but the only person I would reach out to for advice is Ronan.
And yet maybe he’s exactly the person I need to reach out to. He’s the one who needs to hear my side of the story. Until he hears me out, I don’t know how else we’ll be able to move on.
Grabbing my keys from the table by the door, I march out of my apartment. I hail a cab outside my building, a nervous energy running through me like a live wire as I ride all the way to Ronan’s house.
Everything I need to say to him is playing on repeat in my mind. When my emotions run high, my thoughts spill out from me in French, and I have to calm my erratic mind to translate them to English. Somehow, they never feel as righteous, but they are true just the same.
As we pull up to the house, I burst from the car, thanking the driver before rushing to the door. I bang on it twice while I wait for someone to answer.
It’s Daisy who pulls it open, but instead of inviting me in, she plants herself in the open space and glares at me.
“He’s still angry, Matis.”
“I know he is,” I reply.
“If you want him to listen, I promise you he only wants to argue.”
“Then we will argue.”
She lets out a sigh. “You should have told us.”
“I’m telling you now.”
She only rolls her eyes. “You want us to listen to logic, but we’re not ready. Emotions are still too high, Matis. Are you sure you want to talk to him now?”
“Yes, Daisy. I need to talk to him.”
“Fine,” she says with a relenting sigh. Then she steps aside and lets me through.
I already know where to find my friend, so I head straight for his office on the left side of the house. When I reach the doorway, I stop and stare at the man pouring himself a drink at the beverage cart.
“I told you I needed time,” he mutters darkly.
“Time is up.”
“Well, I have nothing to say to you.”
Stepping into his office, I close the door behind me. “Good, then you can listen.”
“What?” he barks. “Listen to how you seduced my fucking daughter? Listen to how you betrayed decades of friendship?”
“I didn’t seduce her. You should know that.”
“You could have had anyone!” he shouts.
“I didn’t want anyone,” I argue, keeping my cool as I defend myself.
“No, you just wanted my daughter. Bullshit, Matis.”
“It’s not bullshit,” I say, putting my hands up in surrender.
“She has her whole life ahead of her. She’s just a kid,” he says, rubbing his forehead.
“She’s older than Daisy was when you—”
Ronan glares at me so I stop. I’m not here to attack him or call out his double standards. I’m here to help him understand.
“The point is that Amelia and I happened by accident. Neither of us planned it or knew it would happen. By the time we realized we had feelings for each other, it was too late. There was no stopping it.”
He laughs, but it’s a dark, sarcastic laugh. “You’re a fool. My daughter has had a crush on you since she was a child. And you exploited that.”
Now I feel my anger rising. “I had no idea. And even if I did, you are thinking I would prey on someone so pure and innocent. It says a lot about what you think of me.”
“I don’t think much of you anymore,” he says without looking at me. It’s like a punch to the chest, but I know he’s speaking from a place of anger.
“You’re upset,” I state, and Ronan answers with a huff. “But you should know that I never seduced Amelia. It was never just about sex. I love her more than anything in the world.”
He huffs again. “I’ve known you thirty years. You’ve never loved anyone.”
My molars clench because I know he’s trying to hurt me, and it’s working. But I knew this would happen. I knew he would fight back with sharper weapons.
“Well, I’ve changed. She changed me. Ronan, she’s the love of my life.”
His head snaps up in anger. Then he takes three furious steps toward me. “No, she’s the love of my life.”
“What you feel for Daisy…I feel for Amelia.”
With a wince, he stares at me as if I’ve somehow insulted him with this comparison. He thinks it’s so impossible for someone to feel for another what he feels for his wife. But I have been here since the beginning. I’ve seen his love for her firsthand.
Maybe that’s where I learned what true love looks like.
“Take the job in London,” he mutters out of nowhere. Staring down at the whiskey in his glass, he adds, “Take it and leave my daughter alone. Let her live her life.”
For the first time since I walked in here, I feel the sting of emotion crawling its way up my throat. The thought of leaving Amelia, knowing her life would be better without me, hurts more than I can express.
“That’s really what you want?” I reply. “You think she’d be better off without me?”
He glances up at me, hope in his eyes. “She’s young, Matis. She has a bright future.”
“She’s not a child, Ronan. She’s a grown woman and she deserves more respect from you. Respect to let her decide what her future holds. Respect not to speak about her life as if it’s yours to manipulate.”
His nostrils flare with anger. “What about her design program?” he asks. “Tell me you’ll encourage her to go.”
It pains me to answer him with honesty. “Of course I will. If that’s what she wants. I’d rather cut off my own arm before I get in the way of that.”
For a moment, Ronan only stares at me.
“I don’t expect you to forgive me today. With time, I know you’ll accept us.”
When he doesn’t respond, keeping his back to me, I take another step into the room.
“I am not sorry for falling in love with Amelia. I am not sorry for the future I want with her. I’m sorry you had to find out like this, and I know we should have told you sooner, but every decision I made was for her.
Everything I do is for her. I might not be a good friend, but I will be a good man, for her. That you can count on.”
With that, I turn and walk out of his office.