Chapter 16
CHAPTER 16
O nce Eryx is gone, Alessandra leans forward in her chair.
“What game are you playing?” she asks me.
“Game?”
“Yes, you aren’t behaving like your usual self.”
“For the first time in my life, I’m allowed to be my real self.”
“And what does that mean? A man finally tempted you into bed and now you’re climbing down from your high horse?”
I can’t help but smile. This is the first real conversation we’ve had in years. “No, I’m no longer dependent on Father or anyone else for my survival, so I don’t have to be the woman men want me to be.”
Alessandra narrows her eyes. “And what woman is that?”
“The airheaded beauty who wants nothing more than to please her father because she’s too stupid to want anything for herself.”
Alessandra sits up straighter in her chair. She eyes me from head to toe as though meeting me for the first time. I suppose in a way, she is.
“I had Father wrapped around my finger for years, and you were none the wiser to my antics. I had the whole world fooled, and now I have everything I’ve ever wanted.” Almost. “So there’s no point in keeping up the ruse. Not with you, at least.”
I keep my eyes locked on hers. There is no looking away or backing down. This is me.
Kallias turns toward his wife as though waiting for her to do something. She finally schools her features and asks, “And what is it that you’ve wanted?”
“Freedom. As a dowager duchess, no man can tell me what to do. My life is my own.” The only thing I need now are the unlimited funds to go along with it.
“You mean to say you wanted to marry Pholios?”
“Who do you think planted the idea into Father’s head?”
Another pause. “Let me make sure I’ve got this right. You pretended to be an idiot for… seven years so you could control your own life, and it worked ?” The last word comes out at a higher pitch than the rest.
“Yes.” I press on. “And I owe you an apology. Probably about a hundred, actually. You see, I knew that if anyone was to pick up on my ruse, it would be you. I kept you at a distance to protect myself. I was self-righteous because I knew it would infuriate you and make you want to stay away from me. I was rude and condescending and judgmental all to play this game. You didn’t deserve any of it. I chose my own survival over you. I didn’t think I had any other choice. I regret how I hurt you over the years.”
Alessandra stands. “Kallias.”
“Yes, dearest?”
“I would like to dance.”
“Then let’s dance.” He holds his hand out to her and leads her toward the center of the ballroom. She doesn’t say another word to me, but she stares at me until another dancing couple blocks her vision.
Alessandra isn’t one to keep her thoughts to herself. I must have truly startled her for her to be speechless. Or perhaps she just needs time to process it all.
At least she hasn’t thrown me in prison or something else drastic, I suppose. I hadn’t expected our conversation to go that way at all, but once we were talking, I couldn’t stop myself from coming clean. I have no idea why.
Because if I can find an ally in Alessandra, she can help me to be rid of Eryx? Perhaps.
But never mind that. I need to find Eryx. I sure hope he hasn’t found a way to embarrass me in the short time we’ve been apart. I turn in place, looking for his pomaded head. He’s walking across the room, not far from the dais.
Was he eavesdropping?
But of course. How else could he be sure that I didn’t spill his secrets? I hope it’s the first step in getting him to trust me. But all hell could have broken loose if the king and queen had caught him.
He doesn’t look my way as he approaches a small group of men. Is that because he actually wants to talk to them or because he doesn’t want to face me after catching him spying? I observe him for a moment. He pats one of the men on the shoulder, and they shake hands before widening the circle to admit him. Either he’s making friends astonishingly fast or he knows these men.
I’m surprised that I do not recognize most of them. I thought I knew all the courtiers.
To gently insert myself into the conversation, I approach slowly and take Eryx’s arm once I’m certain he’s seen me. While it would be difficult to fit his pistol and serrated knife in the tight outfit he’s wearing, I wouldn’t put it past him. Spooking him in this crowd would be a nightmare.
Eryx places a hand atop mine and pulls me forward, effortlessly including me in whatever conversation is happening.
“Gentlemen, allow me to introduce Her Grace, Lady Chrysantha Demos, dowager Duchess of Pholios.”
Each of the four men surrounding him bows.
“You must be the most fortunate man in all of Naxos,” the first one says. He’s older than the rest of the group, with graying temples and wrinkles about his mouth. “You inherited a dukedom that just so happened to come with such a lovely lady of the house.”
I think he meant it as a compliment, but I don’t delight in being relegated to “lady of the house.” I am its rightful owner and master.
“Your Grace,” Eryx says to me, “let me introduce you to General Kaiser and two of his underlings, Captain Rodis and Captain Zogafros. And this is—”
“Lord Barlas,” I finish for him. Yet another man who sent me letters right after the death of my husband. He already has a mistress, one whom he’s kept for years. Either he means to replace her with me, or he intends to have a short tryst. Either way, I’m not interested. He’s not a bad-looking man, but I’ve never cared for his character. I curtsy to the group.
“I’m afraid you caught us in the middle of a rather boring conversation,” one of the captains says. I already forgot his name.
“Yes,” the other agrees. “We were talking about the war efforts in Estetia, which must be dreadfully boring to someone like you, Your Grace.”
I’m torn between correcting the man or stating that the only thing I find boring about the topic is the company.
But Lord Barlas speaks up. “Why don’t you join me for a dance, Your Grace, and we can leave our fighting men to their chitchat?”
I open my mouth, prepared to deliver some sly rejection, when Eryx grips my hand more tightly. “Lord Barlas, what a kind offer. The duchess would be delighted.” He passes me off to the other man like money exchanging hands.
I’m so startled by the move that I can’t form a word of protest. Up until now, Eryx and I had made a game of rejecting our admirers. Now he’s hand-delivering me to one?
How dare he?
I’ll kill him. This time for real.
The last thing I see is Eryx disappearing behind a group of people, still engrossed in conversation with the men from the army.
And then I’ve nowhere to look but at the earl before me.
“Your Grace, I have to tell you how divine you look tonight. You put all the other women in the room to shame.”
“You hardly need to pay me a compliment by insulting the other women in the room,” I state.
He laughs as though I’ve said something funny.
“Where is your mistress tonight?” I ask, trying to keep my tone pleasant.
“At my home, waiting for me. Parties overwhelm her. She doesn’t like to go out.”
Doesn’t like to? Or he doesn’t let her?
“Tell me, Your Grace, did you receive my letters?” he asks.
“I didn’t. They must have gotten lost in transit.”
“Pity. I’ll have to write you new ones.”
“Perhaps you should spend time focusing on the woman you’re already keeping.”
“There’s no need to be jealous. You have my full attention right now. Enjoy it while it lasts.”
Just who does he think he is? One of the gods’ gifts to this world? Hardly.
I swear it’s the longest dance I’ve ever been subjected to, and it doesn’t help when I catch sight of my sister and the king dancing.
They’re almost indecently close to one another, with his hand low on her back. They’re staring into each other’s eyes like they can’t get enough.
I feel that familiar rage try to overcome me again. There my sister is with a man who loves her. Who’s treating her well. How does Alessandra keep doing that? What secret has she learned that I haven’t? Why does she get what she wants when here I am, yet again, subjected to someone who thinks more of his polished boots than he does of me?
It takes a moment, but I direct the rage where it belongs, staring daggers at the man holding me.
When the five-minute-long dance ends, the earl tightens his grip on me. “Let’s do another.”
“My lord, as the sister to the queen, I have many duties to perform tonight. You must excuse me to see if she needs anything.”
“The queen is preparing for another dance with the king.”
“I’m feeling fatigued. I’d like a drink.”
“After the dance.”
He sweeps me along into the next song. No matter how I try to pull away, his grip tightens, and his left hand strays far too low.
On the next step, I tread on his foot. Hard.
He grunts, and though he must be surprised, he doesn’t let up.
So I do it again.
“Your Grace, surely you know the correct steps to the dance,” he says.
“Surely you know when a lady is trying to tell you no.”
He ignores me, and my gaze tinges with red as I plan how I will exact vengeance on this man who dares to touch me unwanted.
This dance is longer than the first one, and I feel a bruise forming from where he’s adjusted his grip from my hand to my arm to get a better hold on me.
When a third song starts, I debate kicking him in the crotch, everything else be damned, when a shadow looms over us.
I look up, startled to find Eryx with his eyes a shimmering amber.
“May I cut in,” he says. The words are no less than a demand.
When the earl tries to splutter out some reason why Eryx cannot in fact cut in, Eryx reaches out, grips the earl’s wrist, and squeezes.
I hear a snap .
Lord Barlas shrieks as he doubles over, clutching his injured arm, and finally releases me. Thankfully, the sound is lost in the music that has picked up its tempo. However, Eryx doesn’t appear to be done with him. He places a hand on the man’s shoulder, and I have every intention of watching what he will do next to the earl, but I remember that we are in a public place and shouldn’t cause a scene.
I throw myself between the two men, bumping against Eryx’s extended arm. He turns that murderous gaze on me.
“Dance with me,” I say.
He doesn’t seem to hear me, but I dare to grab his arm and place it at my waist. Then I take the other in my grip. On the next beat, I spin him away from the injured man, whom no one else appears to have noticed.
When Eryx’s eyes land on me, they don’t dim. His body is rigid, though it manages to move as I direct it. He clearly doesn’t know the steps to this song. And why would he? It’s not as though I’ve taught it.
I lean forward. “Your eyes, Eryx. Get yourself under control.”
He shuts his eyes immediately. “I wasn’t done with him.”
“You are in a public place.”
“I don’t care. He was hurting you.”
“I will handle him later.”
“And how do you plan to do that?”
“I’ll think of something. Perhaps pay off his mistress to leave him.”
Eryx’s eyes open; they’re a little less amber and a little more brown. “That’s not punishment enough.”
“It’s the only kind of punishment I can manage.”
“That’s why I intend to handle him. Men like that don’t deserve to live.”
I falter a step. “Are you saying that you would kill that man for me?”
His eyes widen, as though he’s just realizing the truth of what he’s said.
And meant.
Those butterflies start up in my belly again.
I look away from his face, at our joined hands. His white undershirt pokes out from his jacket. The sleeve is tinged red.
“Is that blood on your wrist?”
He looks down to where my gaze is. “No.”
“Then what is it?”
He cannot come up with a single lie, and it’s foolish to even try. What could possibly be mistaken for blood?
“Are you hurt?” I ask.
“No, it’s not mine.”
I don’t know if that’s better or worse.
“Where have you been?”
“The men’s room.”
“At least that’s a better lie.”
His whole body tenses.
“Stop that,” I say. “Focus on getting yourself under control. Then we can leave.”
“I can’t,” he says through his teeth. “I still want to kill him.”
“Don’t think about him. Think about me. Focus on the dance.”
A few couples finally notice Barlas and help him off the dance floor. If anyone suspects what really happened to him, they don’t approach us. At least the earl has the good sense not to accuse a duke.
“This”—Eryx pauses—“actually isn’t horrible.”
“And why would dancing be horrible?”
“Most people don’t usually enjoy things they’re not good at.”
“I think you and I can both agree that you are certainly not anywhere close to most people .”
Eryx takes a deep breath through his nose. “You’re very good at distracting me.”
“Better than Argus and Dyson?”
“Much.”
“What do they usually do when you shift?”
He starts to say something, then catches himself, as though remembering he’s talking to me.
“Eryx, your eyes are still blazing. We need to get you calm.”
“How the hell am I supposed to be calm when I handed you off to a man who—”
“Because you know I will make you suffer for it. When we get home, I’m going to make you wish you’d never met me.”
He smiles. “I don’t doubt it.” Then his face falls. “You must know I had no idea. I didn’t think anything bad could happen in such a public place.”
“That’s because you don’t know all the tricks men pull in public places and get away with. How would you? They don’t try that kind of stuff on those who have the strength to fight them off.”
Eryx’s eyes blaze brighter, and I look around to see if anyone has noticed. We’re safe for now, but he really needs to stop.
“No one,” he says, “ no one is going to touch you like that again. I will make sure of it.”
I want to scoff, but I don’t. I realize that he’s not saying it out of any sense of ownership. No, Eryx has tried very hard to get rid of me from day one. He means it because he has a sense of justice. He would step in for any woman he saw being treated that way.
So I don’t correct him or tell him to stop saying silly things like that.
Instead, I tease him. “And how will you make sure of that? Are you going to follow me everywhere I go? Are you going to kill every man who touches me in some untoward way? Would you like a list of the men who have done so in the past? There won’t be many courtiers left in Naxos then.”
He pulls me closer. “ Who? ”
“Gods, I was joking. Relax.”
“Who?” he demands again. “Are they in this room?”
“Please, you must calm down if we’re to get you out of here unseen. I was trying to lighten your mood with a joke, not stoke your temper.”
“Suddenly you care about my well-being?”
“After you just made a show of looking after mine, yes.”
That finally has his muscles unwinding. The music picks up, and Eryx has to concentrate very hard to follow my lead. His fingers splay against my back, and I wonder if he even realizes he’s done it. As though he’s trying to grip more of me.
So as not to step on my foot, of course.
“Look at me,” I say. “Don’t watch your feet.”
“If I don’t watch my feet, then I will injure you.”
I grin. “You won’t. You’ll get a better sense of my movements by watching me. Trust me.”
He looks up, and a tight, squirming feeling spreads through my chest.
I ignore it, instead enjoying the crinkle on Eryx’s forehead from his concentrating so hard. His eyes dip down to my mouth.
“Are you laughing at me?” he asks.
“No, I just think you’re adorable when you’re concentrating.”
“Adorable?” The word sounds ridiculous when it comes out in his deep voice.
“Yes.”
“Now I know you’re making fun of me.”
I roll my eyes. “Relax. It’s almost over.”
And for a moment, he does. His body loosens, and his limbs fluidly follow me. The amber glow leaves his eyes.
“Good.”
And then the music slows again, and he’s still looking at me. Because I’ve told him to.
Eryx pulls me closer, without even thinking about it. His thumb draws a soothing circle against my back as his gaze intensifies. A sheen of amber reenters his irises.
I squeeze the hand in mine, as though trying to snap him out of it, but Eryx squeezes back, mistaking the gesture.
“Your eyes,” I whisper.
He blinks, as though coming to, and they fade back to their usual brown. I do yet another carefree glance about us, just to make sure no one saw.
My eyes land on my sister and the king, who are dancing just two couples down from us. Kallias is staring at Eryx, and my sister is staring at me.
My stomach drops, but I offer Alessandra an encouraging smile. Why was she watching me? Why is the king staring at Eryx? Did he see? And if he did see, why isn’t he doing anything?
When the song ends, I usher Eryx from the room before anything else can happen.