Chapter Twenty-Two
When the tourist boats started to arrive, they headed back to the yacht, his mom explaining to Ellie that once the public realised who they were, the paparazzi would descend on them quickly, ruining the rest of their plans for the day.
Their security, who Ellie would probably never see, kept them largely away from the public eye but they couldn’t guarantee anonymity when they left the safety of their island.
One of the main reasons why Alex had moved away from acting was because he couldn’t stand the suffocating lens of the press. Whatever you said or did was picked apart online. He’d once lost a contact lens at a premiere and had been accused of snubbing a co-star when in fact he hadn’t noticed them.
In some ways, his family were trapped by their fame.
They bought islands and yachts not to show off, but to retain some level of privacy.
Liam had had some frightening stalkers over the years, which had played a large part in his own battles with anxiety.
Alex hoped Ellie understood that sometimes extravagance was necessary for their safety.
They sailed out to one of the smaller reefs, which was part of Exuma’s nature reserve, and stopped for lunch. Eddie’s team had done an impressive buffet of cold meats, shrimp, salad and rice dishes, as well as wines, fruit punch, beers and juices.
He and Ellie returned to their previous spot on the deck and spent a pleasant afternoon eating, chatting and spotting colourful fish in the sea.
‘Anyone for snorkelling? We’ve only four snorkels, but you guys are welcome to go first,’ asked Liam, waving the gear at them cheerfully.
‘Oh, not for me, thanks,’ Ellie replied, shaking her head.
‘Are you sure? If you’re nervous…’ Alex asked quietly, surprised that she would refuse after she’d seemed to enjoy spotting fish from the side of the boat.
She shook her head fervently, and then leaned towards him with a mischievous glint in her eye. ‘It’s not that. It just feels… rude to the fish.’
‘Rude? Well, that was the last thing I expected you to say.’
‘Yeah. I mean the pigs, it was their island, but they got some food out of us going to visit them. But the fish? They’re just living their life, in their beautiful home. The last thing they need is some massive goggled face getting up close in their business.’
‘You’ve got a point.’
‘I don’t mind a swim though, if you’re up for that? That’s not intrusive to the reef, right?’
‘No. We’re too close to the surface to bother them, and I’d love a swim.’ They made their way to the side of the boat. Liam and Savannah had given them firm reminders about the nature reserve’s strict ‘no touching, no taking’ policy, as well as advice on snorkelling techniques.
So while the others struggled with the snorkelling gear, he and Ellie sank into the warm waters of the reef with happy sighs of pleasure.
As if in thanks, they were gifted with the arrival of a sea turtle, its shell scarred and chipped, its eyes bright and curious.
The turtle paddled around them, its copper and brown markings catching the light like polished metal.
Ellie watched in awe, her dark eyes sparkling with wonder in the sunshine.
Alex shook his head in astonishment and they exchanged excited looks as they watched the turtle majestically swim around them without a care in the world. They didn’t speak, just watched, afraid to frighten the animal away.
After a few minutes of circling, it dipped its head and launched itself with surprising speed into the depths of the water. In only a few strokes they’d lost sight of it.
‘Oh, damn, we missed a turtle!’ cried Savannah as she made her way to the side of the boat, her flippers slapping as she walked. She jumped down into the water feet first, causing a huge splash.
Alex wiped the moisture from his face, glad that he’d taken the worst of it. He gave Ellie a conspiratorial nod of agreement. She was right – sometimes it was better to leave things be and mind your own business.
‘Shall we go back up?’ he asked.
Three more flipper-dives rocked the water around them.
‘Good plan,’ she replied, with a barely suppressed giggle.
Rain was falling heavily by the time they returned to his parents’ house, signalling the start of a tropical storm.
They all piled off the yacht as soon as it docked, and ran indoors laughing. They were drenched, but it didn’t matter; they’d been in and out of the water all day anyway, and it had been a refreshing change to the tropical heat.
The day had been surprisingly enjoyable, mostly due to Ellie’s presence, but he was grateful for the excuse to go straight to their room.
He grabbed two towels from the bathroom and began to rough-dry his hair with one, having passed Ellie the other. Her hair swung around her in dripping tendrils, laughter kissing her lips as she stared back at him with bright eyes and flushed cheeks from the sprint indoors.
He had a horrible feeling that he’d been staring at her for far longer than necessary. And had he taken a step closer?
‘Shall we have a movie night?’ he asked.
Ellie blinked in surprise. ‘Errr…’
‘It looks like it’s going to rain for a while.
’ He pointed towards the window, as if the rain running down the glass would convince her to stay with him.
‘I could get us some snacks. Or we could just stay in here and chill. Have a break from my family.’ Avoiding his family was an excuse, a valid one, but still an excuse.
He wanted to be alone with her. To shut out the world and curl up with Ellie.
‘Oh, sure,’ Ellie replied, a little breathlessly, and then with a blush headed towards the bathroom. ‘I’ll just have a shower and put my pjs on.’
‘Great.’ He was rooted to the spot until the bathroom door closed. Then he punched the air with a silent cheer. After a moment, with a shake of his still-wet hair, he gathered his wits and headed down to the kitchen.
He almost turned tail when he saw his brother rummaging around in the cupboards, a tray of fruit and Savannah’s vegan crackers beside him. Liam stilled, as if he’d been caught red-handed.
‘Hey…’
‘Hey…’
Liam set a chilled bottle of champagne and two glasses on the tray. ‘I think the others are going to do some games in the sun room. If you’re interested?’
‘No, we thought we’d have a quiet night. Watch films and… chill.’ Jeez, he may as well have said, I’m off to have sex. Which wasn’t actually true… Unfortunately.
‘Cool. Same,’ said Liam, staring at the champagne and looking more than a little awkward. He was off to have sex, by the looks of it… with Alex’s ex.
Strangely, it didn’t bother Alex any more. He’d actually rather spend an evening not having sex with Ellie than be in Liam’s shoes. Savannah and he had always been… tepid.
‘Are you using the boat tomorrow? I thought I might take Ellie to one of the islands.’ He wasn’t sure why he’d asked, maybe to break the weird atmosphere growing between them. Plus, it sounded like something a loving boyfriend would do with his girlfriend.
‘Oh. Sorry. We need the boat tomorrow. Eddie’s got to pick up the flowers Savannah’s having flown in from New England.’
Alex’s eyes ached from trying not to roll them. ‘Ah, yes. The pink English tea roses and peonies? She always insisted on them for her trailer. No matter the season.’ He tried to hide the scathing criticism in his voice, but obviously failed, because Liam glared at him with barely concealed rage.
‘You know why she likes them, don’t you? Or was that another thing you never bothered to ask?’
Alex stared at Liam in shock. Partly because his perfect brother was finally snapping at him for a change, and partly because he was right.
He had never bothered to ask Savannah why she insisted on having pink tea roses.
Why hadn’t he? He remained silent, unable to say anything unless it incriminated him further, and he had the uneasy feeling that it would reflect badly on him.
Liam tutted. The bastard actually tutted. ‘No, of course you didn’t. You act like I stole her from you, but you never even knew her. Not really.’ He picked up the tray, before looking at Alex with narrowed eyes. ‘They’re her favourite because they were her mother’s favourite flowers.’
Guilt swept over Alex with enough force to knock him back a step.
Savannah had only mentioned her mother once; she’d died of breast cancer before Savannah’s first feature film.
He’d never met her, and Savannah had said she didn’t like to talk about it.
So he’d never asked, never bothered to find out more.
If that had been Ellie, he would have.
Liam was right. He was a jerk.
Unfortunately for him, Liam wasn’t done.
‘She called Savannah her flower because she was pregnant with her on her wedding day – she carried a bunch of roses and peonies in her bridal bouquet. When she died, she asked to be buried with roses and peonies. That’s why she loves them.
That’s why she always has them with her. But I’m sure you knew that already…’
As the silence stretched, the air thickened around them, the tropical storm lashing against the kitchen windows wildly.
‘I’m sorry. I was being a jerk.’
Liam sighed and balanced the tray with one hand as he ran his fingers through his hair in such a familiar way that it was almost like looking in a mirror.
‘I love her. I love her flowers, and her silly dancing, and her hundred dogs. I love everything about her. And I’m sorry that it’s hurt you, but you never loved her like I do. ’
Liam began to walk away, but Alex grabbed him by the elbow, the champagne flutes jiggling precariously as he stared into his brother’s eyes.
‘You’re right. And… I’m sorry.’
Liam took a deep and shaken breath. ‘Thank you, and I’m sorry too. Not for being with Savannah, but for how I treated you. You’re my brother, and you deserved better.’ He left the room.
Alex remained rooted to the floor, staring at the door, long after his brother was gone, struck by the realisation that he’d never loved Savannah.
Back in the room, Ellie sat curled up on the couch, her magnificent hair dried and piled on top of her head in a messy bun. She wore long silky pyjama trousers and a white vest top that had black cat whiskers and a pink nose across her breasts.
It was very cute and very distracting.
Just like Ellie.
He put the tray of snacks down on the coffee table.
‘Wow. You really went to town.’
He’d grabbed everything he could think of: popcorn, nachos and dip, sweets, chocolate, two cans of soda, as well as a pot of tea for Ellie and a latte for himself.
‘Yeah, I needed time to compute my brother pointing out that I’m an asshole.’
Ellie sat up with an outraged gasp. ‘What? How dare he have a go at you!’
Flattered by her immediate and unconditional defence, he admitted the truth quickly, before she marched out of the room to knock his brother out. ‘He was right, in this case.’
She relaxed a little and eased back on the couch with a teasing raise of her brow. ‘Did you steal all of his movie snacks?’
‘Funny, but no. He pointed out the truth that I didn’t really know Savannah that well.
I guess I wasn’t a great boyfriend to her.
I was obsessed with rehearsing the play and my own plans for striking out solo.
I never really thought about her. I never asked about her life, supported her goals, understood her past… nothing.’
Ellie pondered his words, plucking a few pieces of popcorn from the bowl and popping them in her mouth.
‘I see.’ As always there was no judgement, only acceptance.
He was confessing he’d messed up, and she was listening.
When had anyone else ever done that in his family?
To fail was to be ordinary, and the Kings were never ordinary.
Solemnly, he said, ‘I don’t think I’ve ever been a good boyfriend, to anyone.’
‘Except me,’ she replied with a loyalty he didn’t deserve, and placed her hand on his arm, causing goosebumps to shiver across his skin.
He shook his head to clear the racing hormones.
‘I’d had girlfriends before Savannah. Some of them were obviously just using me for industry contacts.
And I let them. I didn’t like being on my own, so in a way I used them too.
But I never bothered to get to know them, and eventually they got tired of me. ’
‘How could anyone ever tire of you?’
He wanted to kiss her so badly. But the last time he’d kissed her spontaneously it hadn’t gone down well.
Instead, he gave her a sad smile. ‘This isn’t real, remember?’
She shrugged. ‘You’ve still been the best boyfriend I’ve ever had.’
‘Then I feel sorry for you.’ He laughed, but the sound died in his throat when she stiffened. ‘I only meant because I’m useless.’
‘Most blokes find me… hard work. I want too much, too soon, and I guess I frighten them away. When I met David, I thought I’d met someone just like me. But that was a lie too. I was just too blinded by hope to realise it.’
‘Men don’t know what they want half the time. We pretend like we do, but we don’t have a fucking clue. I was the same with Savannah. Falling into a relationship with her before I even really knew her. I was the one pushing for the next stage, without ever learning who she was.’
What had he ever seen in Savannah? They’d had nothing in common except the business. He could now understand her reluctance about joining him in London; he’d been deciding their next steps as a couple, but he didn’t even know why she loved her favourite flower.
‘At least now I know where I went wrong. I’ll do better next time.’ He subtly tried to catch her eye, but she was avoiding his gaze.
Should he ask her out for real?
Would she even say yes? And if she said yes, would he ruin it all over again?
He didn’t trust himself, and he knew it was cowardly, but he couldn’t bring himself to take the final step. Not until he was certain she wanted the same.
The moment passed with painful awareness on both sides.
Ellie dragged a cushion across her middle like a shield and reached for the remote. ‘What shall we watch? I fancy a comedy.’
‘Sounds good.’ He eased back into the couch, worried that, just like with Savannah, he didn’t understand Ellie at all.