Chapter 45
‘What is this?’ said Felicity, for the millionth time, turning to James and then staring back down at the slightly crumpled piece of paper in her hand.
For on top of the pile of cash was a note. Not a note, as such; a photocopy. A photocopy of a title deed. But not for the Animal Saviours centre. Oh no. It was the title deed for a certain Donkey Haven animal centre. On Guernsey. Formerly owned by one Ms Valerie Evans.
‘Has my father gone stark raving mad?’ said Felicity, when she’d asked the universe what it was several hundred more times. ‘Was he always mad and I’m only just finding out?’
‘I think he might be,’ said James, as Felicity handed him the piece of paper.
‘He’s bought Jessica the donkey?’
‘I’m not sure that’s quite what this…’
‘Or, Jessica’s house at least? He’s bought it outright and he doesn’t even know if Andrea will move away from here. Or does he? Is he thinking she’ll move over there? Is he planning to go with her? Is he leaving me again? When I’ve only just found him? What is going on?’
James stood up. ‘I’ve not got the foggiest clue, I’m afraid. But I know how to find out.’
‘What’s that?’
‘Let’s go ask him.’
‘Now? It’s late, they might be… ew…’ Felicity’s voice tailed off.
‘Ew is right but also, they might just be sitting watching Saturday night TV like a normal couple. Not everyone is as sex mad as you, Felicity Brooks.’
‘Ha. You wish,’ she replied, pulling on her shoes.
‘Bet they’re into Gladiators. All that Lycra.’
‘Not everyone is as mad about Lycra as you, James Cowley.’
‘Touché.’
‘Let’s go.’
So they went. And despite their earlier discussion it was with some trepidation that Felicity rang the doorbell of Andrea’s modest little cottage just outside town. Immediately a cacophony of sound erupted.
‘That’ll be the dogs.’
‘Oh, thanks, yes, without that explanation I’d have been wondering all evening.’
‘Shut it.’
‘She’s got three, I think.’
‘I love how they are all barking at a slightly different pitch and perfectly out of time. It’s a really relaxing sound.’
‘Isn’t it?’
In all the years she had known Andrea, and it was a lot of years by now, Felicity had only ever been to her boss’s house once before. It felt a tiny bit naughty.
‘Please don’t be naked, please don’t be naked,’ Felicity prayed quietly, and then let out a long breath as Andrea opened the door still fully clothed from the day. She didn’t look remotely surprised to see them.
‘Oh, thank God, you’re dressed.’ The words were out before Felicity could stop them.
Andrea’s eyebrows went up into her hairline for a split-second, then she full-on grinned. ‘You’ve just missed the floor show if that’s what you mean.’
‘Oh, God,’ said James, making retching noises.
Andrea just giggled. ‘Come in then if you’re coming. Ignore the dogs, they’ll calm down in a minute.’
They did not in fact calm down at all. Andrea had three spanielly-type things of varying sizes and colours, with floppy ears and extremely waggy tails.
All three of them seemed to move as one creature, like a very small murmuration or shoal of fish, gliding this way and that, but occasionally they gathered into a semicircle and formed a dog barricade just the perfect height for a human to trip over.
In typical fashion from the moment they walked through the door all three dogs had ignored Felicity completely and took an instant shine to James, flocking round his feet wagging their tails and trying to climb on his lap for the entire visit.
Harry was nowhere to be seen.
‘Well, this is awkward,’ said Felicity after a few moments. ‘Where’s Harry?’
‘He’s gone out for Chinese, he’ll be back in a minute.’
‘Right. So he was here. And you two are…?’
‘Yes,’ said Andrea with a brisk nod, only the tiniest hint of colour rising on her neck.
‘Right. Well, it was him we wanted to speak to really.’
‘Okay. You’d best wait then. Drink?’
‘Please.’
Andrea pottered through to the kitchen and Felicity and James exchanged a look.
She had always smelt a little of dog, had Andrea, but that was to be expected, given her job.
The cottage, however, was ripe with it, as if the smell of dog had permeated deep into the soft furnishings.
Hardly surprising given the sofa was covered with almost an entire rug’s worth of dog hair.
Even Felicity’s hardened nose was beginning to itch.
Perhaps Harry had lost his sense of smell as well as vision.
‘Thank you so much for today,’ said Andrea, handing them each a smeary glass of what they assumed was white wine.
‘I enjoyed it,’ said Felicity. ‘I love talking about that place…’ She stopped mid-sentence, but couldn’t think of a suitable way to change what she had been going to say.
‘Felicity? Are you okay?’
‘Oh, yes, sorry, I just—’ She could feel her face burning.
‘I thought it was a great day,’ James cut in, smoothly.
Felicity made a mental note to kiss the face off him later.
‘I loved being back in the old AS uniform. And everyone today really seemed to love it.’ He patted the logo on his chest and then remembered what they’d come about and fell silent too.
‘Why are you two being weird?’ said Andrea, never one to beat around the proverbial.
‘Who’s being weird?’ said Harry, opening the lounge door with his foot.
The dogs burst into the song of their people again and swarmed round his ankles.
Harry very nearly went face first onto the dog-hair sofa but with some impressive manoeuvring he managed to keep the spoils, in other words a small cardboard box full of takeaway, intact.
Andrea handed Felicity the bag of prawn crackers from the top of the box without even needing to be asked. She immediately ripped the top off and began munching, batting James’s attempts to snaffle one away with her free hand.
‘So let me guess, this is not just a social call,’ said Harry, half an hour later, when Felicity and James had polished off the prawn crackers and finished watching him and Andrea eat their chow mein and prawn balls while trying not to salivate.
‘Look on the bright side. You’re seeing us twice in one day, you lucky things,’ said James.
‘I’ll be the judge of that,’ said Harry. He was sounding more and more like an actual father these days, thought Felicity. Not that she really knew what one of them was meant to sound like.
‘We’re sorry to interrupt your domestic bliss,’ she said, absent-mindedly stroking a spaniel ear, ‘but, Harry… what is this exactly? We found it in the donations envelope. Is it some kind of joke?’
Felicity held out the rather smudgy photocopy and raised her eyebrows forcibly to the heavens. Harry swallowed a last mouthful of prawn ball and took it from her hand.
‘Ah. Yes. This.’
Without a word, he passed the document to Andrea, then sat back casually and waited for all hell to break loose.
Except no hell really broke loose. Or not straight away, anyway. Andrea just sat and stared at the piece of paper in her hand for such a long time Felicity wondered if she’d had a stroke.
‘Are you okay, love?’ said Harry, eventually. ‘Please say something.’
Still nothing. He looked pleadingly at Felicity.
‘Andrea? Are you okay?’ she said. No reply.
Finally, James got up and went over to her. ‘Do you want me to read it for you?’ he said in a slightly patronising tone.
She shook as if from a stupor and looked up at him. ‘Piss off, you sarcastic git,’ she said.
‘She’s cured,’ said James triumphantly, and sat back down in his seat, a smug grin on his face.
‘Oh thank goodness. Thought I’d given you a small breakdown for a minute there,’ said Harry, a smile spreading across his still-handsome features.
Andrea looked across at him. ‘Is this your doing?’ she said, blinking rapidly.
He had the grace to look a little embarrassed. ‘Maybe. If you like it? Otherwise I’ll blame Felicity.’
‘Hey!’
‘That’s where Jessica the donkey lives,’ said Felicity feebly, but Harry and Andrea didn’t even respond.
‘You’ve bought a donkey sanctuary in Guernsey? You’re leaving me?’ said Andrea, her forehead crinkled.
Never mind you. He’s leaving me. Again, thought Felicity.
Harry’s eyes widened. ‘What? No. Well, yes, I’ve bought it, but no, I’m not leaving you, you daft cow.
I bought it for you. It’s a present. Your very own animal rescue centre.
And of course, if you want me to come with you and run it…
I’ll be more than happy to do some writing from there. No hardship.’
Andrea looked as if she had even more questions than Felicity had an hour before. Did she actually have tears in her eyes? This was unprecedented. But the question that came out of her mouth first was, ‘How on earth did you ever afford it? Not those smutty books, surely?’
‘Ah, we should probably go,’ said Felicity, standing up and edging towards the door.
‘It’s fine, you can stay,’ said Andrea, a little absently, her eyes fixed on Harry’s.
James huffed a laugh. ‘Trust me, you will want to be alone for this.’
As they navigated their way past the pile of spaniels on the floor, Felicity couldn’t shake the feeling she was still missing something important.