Chapter 13
“Do not pity the man in chains. Fear the one who survives them. He has had time to think.” The Count of Monte Cristo
JUDE
My hands are shaking. Another note came. Another confession.
Stop running from her. Face the truth. Face your truth with her. She’s been closer than you think all this time. It wasn’t just your tears that were shed.
What the hell does that even mean? I’ve kept an eye on her and chose to come here because of the first note knowing that she went to school, knowing that I’d be getting my revenge a lot sooner so why does this feel different, why does it feel like a set up?
My foot’s tapping anxiously across the floor like a tic I can’t stop that suddenly developed in her presence. I hate that I feel like I’m cracking or maybe it’s just anxious energy.
I spent years preparing for this.
Years imagining it.
Years convincing myself that when I finally stood in front of her again I'd be in complete control and lately all I’ve been doing is thinking of all the memories of us together and wondering why and how my body is betraying me so brilliantly.
Every time I think I’m done, I engage with her, I prod her, and then I forget the reason why and want to pull at her until she unravels in my arms, boneless, needy. Mine.
And now, I'm standing outside a recording studio waiting for Axel and wondering why the hell my pulse is acting like I'm nineteen again hoping I’ll see her. Stupid. I have no clue where she works in this place just that she does, I’m assuming a secretary of some sorts.
An intern? It shouldn’t matter, but since touching her mouth it fucking does.
Revenge is supposed to feel cleaner than this.
She thinks I’m here to ruin her, to expose her, if only it were that simple, if only there weren’t so many balls in play.
My own dad doesn’t even know I’m here yet but it’s only a matter of time before the huge faculty event at the observatory where I’ll be forced to show up as his favorite son who took the fall for a crime he didn’t even commit.
The golden child.
The perfect one who studied all through prison, got into Harvard, graduated early. I’m his pride and joy on the outside, but on the inside he hates me thinks he owns me, I think I’m just a really great actor and smarter than he is. He thinks he has me right where he wants me.
It’s the opposite. He’s the pawn now; he’ll know it soon. I just need to get my hands on the ledger so I can hold it over his head, carry out what my mom would have wanted and see justice served.
Easy.
Not.
I can’t afford to get distracted by the past. I’ll use her however I want and try to figure out who’s sending the cryptic notes in the first place.
It’s possible he knows both of us are here and he’s trying to shift blame between us.
We’ll have to play into it to make him think it’s working.
I’ll know more if he reaches out, and I’ll know even more than that if Axel does what Axel does best—talk.
Because fear fades.
Exposure fades.
The truth doesn't.
And one way or another she's going to tell me what really happened, Axel’s going to talk too much and make my dad show a card, or I’ll see him first and force his hand.
Or it’s all going to go to hell and my dad isn’t involved and this was all for nothing.
Just facing a painful past and more painful confusing memories with a girl who betrayed me. Fun.
Everything is working perfectly, which is why I’m also perfectly thrown off by Axel’s panicked phone call about helping out.
I quickly make my way over to the company I hate, with the dad I hate even more, he rarely visits this one.
I walk in and go straight to registration.
Axel’s waiting there with a key card in hand, he tosses it at me.
“Don’t worry she won’t assume this is crossing the line into stalker territory so soon after a first date.
I’ll let her know I called you in for a favor, which I did.
It’s just we always have both narrators in for the ending. ”
I shrug. “The ending of what?” I frown. “What exactly am I doing and what can I say? I’m smitten with her after a first date, all I want to do is follow her to her workplace.”
“Yes just deliver that same dry line just like that, I’m sure her bra will just come flying off as she declares undying love.” He rolls his eyes.
“Whatever.” I laugh and cross my arms. “I knew her before, it’s fine.”
“Before?” He probes. He’s wearing his typical black face mask, black Nike hat, designer shoes, jeans, and gray hoody.
“Before what, like prison?” I shift a bit.
“Shit, I know, you hate talking about it, what happened was stupid, but is that how far you go back, for real?” I don’t know if he’s playing dumb or if he really knows all the painful details.
Fuck, before it all, before she ruined me, before she ruined lives, before the lines were crossed, blurred, destroyed, blown to shit. Before. Just. Before. “Yeah, that’s how far we go back, jack ass.”
“I love you. I love you so much it hurts to breathe.” I whispered into her hair.
She yawns and flips over on her side. “What was that? I just woke up.”
“It’s nothing.” You’re everything. “Go back to sleep.” In my arms.
He adjusts his hat so it’s nearly impossible to see his eyes.
The guy really doesn’t want people to know his identity, plus he’s good at hiding in plain sight.
Me on the other hand? I couldn’t care less.
Let them know my dad owns the world; they already know I own two of the art studios.
More money isn’t more impressive; it just adds more zeroes.
Any idiot knows that. Oh, and more stress, more responsivity, more need to keep up and make it look easy when it’s hard as fuck.
I have no false claims that being rich makes things easier, if anything it complicates all of it because you have to make it look effortless or people won’t invest, they won’t give you a chance, they won’t pine for what you have.
It’s work, from the cocktail parties to the meetings. They’re just good at wearing different disguises. “What exactly does she do here?”
And where the hell is she?
“Broooo,” Axels draws it out. “Please don’t get me fired by finding your heart sleeping with her and dropping her, I genuinely like this job.”
I roll my eyes. ”Please, that will never ever happen. I wouldn’t touch her even if you paid me, which you aren’t by the way. The idea of even getting close to her gives me hives. I’d rather?—”
He clears his throat.
I look up.
“No, please, go on.” Lilah says dryly, energy drink in hand, eyes soft, tears fill them. She’s clutching the can like it’s going to help her disappear behind it when it’s too small to do the trick.
I instantly feel like an ass, which pisses me off, because how dare she make me feel bad when she’s the one responsible for all the bad things that happened to me?
I don’t apologize. Instead, I lean into it. “Sorry, didn’t see you there, hope I didn’t offend you with my truth.”
“Better than a lie.” She throws right back. “Wouldn’t you say?” She shrugs. “It’s good to know where you stand, also, I wouldn’t let you get near me anyways, I have standards.”
Axel whistles low in his throat. “So, this is the part where I tell you why I needed both of you and pray I really don’t get fired. Again, need I remind you; I genuinely like working and bossing people around and I’m not made for life on the streets.”
I roll my eyes. “Please, your dad’s net worth is half a billion, you’re fine.”
She gasps.
Ten fucking grand.
Something really doesn’t add up. Again. I’m doubting what I know. I’m doubting what she did. And I hate that she’s just standing there like some fucking victim! Shit!
“Anyways, now that the pleasantries are out of the way,” he grumbles, “it’s dual narration for the end of the book, and Steven’s out, so you’re in.” He points at me.
I glare. “In what?”
“Studio, dumbass,” she mutters. “What did you think we did here?”
File papers? I don’t know. I mean I know what they do here, I just thought she was more an administrative assistant. “You’re a narrator?”
“Yes. Some people actually like my voice.”
“Doubtful.” I smirk. “It’s more or less like…nails but saying on a chalkboard would be too kind.”
“This is fun, everyone having fun?” Axel claps his hands.
“I’m getting fired aren’t I? Look I’m desperate.
I’m short, I need to hire more people, and Steven is being a pussy about his cold like corona came back and sent him into hibernation.
Just read the last ten chapters. Please.
And finish the book off live like we do when we end, answer some questions, be nice, and I’ll pay you double.
” He’s eyeing her then turns to me. “And you, well I won’t tell my dad or yours and I’ll buy you drinks after and not kill you. Deal?”
“How could I resist?” I say dryly.
No chance in hell am I missing this. There’s no way she even compares to the other narrators I’ve heard here, voices like… I pause.
No. I laugh.
“Something funny?” she asks.
“No, nothing, I’m just surprised this is your job, someone who can’t even tell the truth gets to read truths out loud for money. It’s ironic in a way right?”
She takes a deep breath and shoves past me. “Try not to mess up. Some of us have to make money and weren’t born with a silver spoon.”
“Some of us also didn’t go to prison for three years.”
She stumbles. “Three?”
“Three.” I breeze past her, she knows nothing. “Years.”
Her eyes fill with tears. Oh please, like she feels sorry for me, she’s the one who said I had the gun, she’s the one who said I pulled the trigger out of self-defense when it was my own father and hers in that room.
Axels ignores us and points down the hall. “Room two? Both of you need to set up, and if you want a disguise it’s fine, she does it all the time.”
My entire body stills. “She does?”
The she in question walks past me and puts on a familiar black cap and black face mask. I’m frozen in spot. I can’t breathe. I can only stare as she takes a seat and puts on her headphones and stares into the computer screen and waves then starts typing away answering questions.
I don’t have to ask.
I already know.
The person L and Lilah are one in the same.
And the entire voice that I’ve been listening to for three fucking years in prison, my comfort, my only solace.
Has been the person who put me there in the first place.