Chapter 18
Sophia
I shift from one foot to the other, unsure if I'm ready to go through with this. Forgiving Lucas is only half of the obstacle to us getting together properly. He has to forgive me for the way I acted too.
Maybe forgive is too strong a word, but that doesn't change the fact that I have to take his feelings into account. I'm not the one who spied on him, but I did react in a harsh way, and have held him more accountable than any of the other people involved.
I knock on his bedroom door with my tail, glad that one of his flatmates already let me through the front door. It's a good lesson in locking my bedroom door, because it's really easy to get inside everywhere.
The whole world seems to slow down as I wait for him to respond. I haven't considered that he may not be in. Or worse, that he doesn't want to see me. All of our interactions since I found out the truth suggest that he wants to mend things, but maybe he's just being polite.
Or worse, he's pandering to me because of who I am.
I push those thoughts aside. They're not the Lucas I know, and if he is that person, then I'm better off without him.
The door swings open, causing relief to crash through me. He may still slam it in my face, but at least that's an answer.
"Sophia? I didn't expect you."
"I know, I'm sorry. I...are you free at the moment?
" Even if the conversation can't wait as far as I'm concerned, that doesn't mean the same is true for him.
I have no idea what his timetable looks like, and while there aren't any classes this late in the day, there are extra-curriculars he could go to.
"Yes. Is everything all right? Are you in trouble?" He frowns and reaches up to scratch the base of one of his horns.
"Everything is fine." Or I'm hoping it will be. Really, that's up to him to decide.
"Do you want to come in?"
I nod, stepping inside his room once he gestures for me to enter.
Unlike last time, I spent a moment checking out my surroundings. Everything is almost exactly like I'd imagine it being. Neat and ordered, but clearly lived in.
A bright blue golf ball sits on his desk. "You kept it?" I can't keep the amusement out of my voice. "I don't think you're supposed to do that."
"I wanted something to remember it by," he admits softly.
A small smile spreads over my face. It can only be a good sign if he has something of us so prominently on display.
I turn to face him and take a deep breath. "I've been thinking."
"About?"
"Us."
Silence falls after the word, probably as he tries to work out where I'm going with the conversation.
"I promise I've told you everything..." he starts.
"I know. I talked to Franz about it too. He really is a big romantic." I don't like cutting him off, but it's better not to let this devolve into another conversation about why he made the decisions he did. "I'm not here to talk about what happened."
"Oh?"
"I want to talk about what might happen in the future." I hold my breath as I wait for him to respond, more nervous than I've ever been in my life, even before my first public engagement.
"I'm going to need you to spell it out for me," he says slowly, but I can see the understanding in his eyes. He knows what I'm saying.
I expected this. He's always put a lot of emphasis on knowing what the truth of the matter is before he acts on it, and this is no different.
"I'd like to go on another date with you. If you'd like to. You don't have to..."
"I want to." He steps forward as he answers. "More than anything."
"I'm still hurt," I admit. "But I've been thinking about everything and I realised I'm not ready to give up on whatever this is." I gesture between us with my tail.
"I don't want to give up on us either. I was a fool for not telling you the truth."
"And I was a fool for not realising my parents would do something like this. I heard all about what they did for my siblings."
"I imagine none of the others had people checking up on them that tried to date them," he says.
I raise an eyebrow. "Is there a reason you're trying to remind me of what you did wrong?"
"Maybe I'm just checking you haven't forgotten."
"Trust me, I haven't. But I have decided that I don't want to lose something special because of it."
He sighs with relief.
"But," I say sternly.
His whole body stiffens.
"You can't lie to me like that again. Ever. If you do, it will be the end of us."
"I won't. I don't want to," he assures me.
"Good. Then we're on the same page." I try to keep the relief out of my voice, but I don't think it works.
We stare at one another, each of us waiting for the other one to make the first move.
I bite my bottom lip, drawing his gaze to it by accident. Not that I'm complaining, it just means he's probably thinking about kissing me as much as I am him.
"Sophia..." His voice is hoarse and full of emotion.
"Kiss me," I whisper. "Please?"
He doesn't need asking twice. He closes the distance between us and crushes his lips against mine, pushing me against the desk in the process.
He helps me hop up so I'm sitting, barely distracting either of us from the kiss. It's all I can do not to start unbuttoning his shirt, but I don't want to go so quickly this time. We need to rebuild some of the trust between us before we go there.
Lucas cups my cheek in his hand, adding a more intimate note to our kiss.
I feel like a fool for nearly giving this up.
We break apart and our gazes lock.
Lucas leans his forehead against mine. "I'm falling for you, Sophia."
I close my eyes and bask in the warmth of his words, just for a moment.
"I'm falling for you too," I whisper.
He kisses me again, soft and slow, and I let myself drift off into a world that is only him.