Chapter 17
Sophia
I push the textbook away from me, unable to concentrate on anything close to conjugating verbs. I already speak five languages at a reasonable fluency, I'm not sure why I need to learn another one. But my father asked me to, so here I am trying to study along with the other members of our class.
Footsteps sound from across the room, and despite knowing it's nothing to do with me, I find myself looking up. Drake makes his way to our table, a solemn expression on his face.
"Do you have a moment?" the dragon asks.
I nod and get to my feet, following him over to the window seat.
"What's up?" I ask.
He grimaces. "I just wanted to check on you after the other night."
"That's sweet, but you don't need to." I give him what I hope is a reassuring smile, but I'm not sure it's convincing.
"Still. It happened at my party, and I feel responsible."
"You're not," I assure him. "You helped me when you could have turned the other way, that makes you the opposite of responsible for Leonard's actions."
"Huh, I hadn't thought about it like that."
"Then you should. Thank you for stepping in. I know that's not what a lot of people would do." If I'm honest, I'm a little surprised that he did. Most people really would have turned the other way.
Drake laughs nervously. "Well, he was doing something wrong."
"He was," I agree.
"I know Lucas will have looked after you too," Drake says, stunning me into silence. "But I need to get to class. See you around."
He's gone before I have a chance to respond about Lucas. I shake my head in an attempt to rid myself of the thoughts about him, but I know it's pointless. He keeps creeping back in no matter what I do and I can't seem to be able to stop it.
"What was that about?" Lottie asks as I sit back down.
"The party the other night"
"Ah." She rubs her temple. "My head still hurts thinking about it."
"I'm not surprised. You were drunk enough to bare your soul to me."
She grimaces. "I know, you filled me in already."
"Have you made up your mind yet?" I ask.
"I don't think there was anything really to decide," she admits. "Who am I to turn down spending part of the holidays with two of my favourite people?"
I groan. "I'm going to end up being the third wheel, aren't I?"
She takes my hand in hers and gives it a squeeze. "You don't have to be."
"What do you mean?"
She flashes a glance over at Philippe, but he doesn't seem to be paying any attention to us.
Maybe we should be having this conversation in a more private location, but I don't think it matters.
The moment Lottie says yes, the fact she'll be coming to ours for the holidays will be common knowledge at the academy.
"I know you want to forgive Lucas," she whispers. "You can, if you want to."
"Lottie..."
"What? Are you telling me you haven't thought about it? I may have had a bit too much to drink the other night, but I'm not blind. I saw the way the two of you were looking at one another. You're not over him, and he is definitely not over you."
"That might be the case, but he lied to me."
"By omission. You still feel the mate response, right?"
I nod. "But it doesn't mean anything. It'll go away if I ignore it long enough and then we'll both be able to feel it with someone else." In theory, anyway. Not having experienced the mate potential with anyone else before, I don't know how easy it is to move on from one.
She sighs. "Look, only you can decide what's unforgivable, but there's no point making yourself miserable if you don't have to. If you decide it's worth trying to fix your relationship, then you'll just have to work on the trust that's been broken between you."
She's making a lot of sense, and speaking to the ever-growing part of me that wants to give him a second chance.
"What did he even tell Franz?" she asks.
I sigh. "Just about that first party when I dropped my shoe in the pool."
Her eyebrows shoot up. "Is that it?"
"That's not what I'm angry about," I remind her. "It's the fact he decided to date me despite knowing he was supposed to be spying on me for my parents."
"Out of interest, have you forgiven them for doing that?"
"What? Of course...oh." I hadn't even thought about it like that.
I've been dismissing it as my parents acting in character and being overprotective, but Lottie is right.
They're the ones who actively lied about this, and are the ones who basically bribed Lucas' family into putting him in this position.
"Yep. Oh. Lucas isn't blameless in this, but he also wasn't working alone. And everyone involved probably had good intentions," she says.
"Do two-day hangovers always make you this wise?" I mutter.
"Don't change the subject. I notice when you do that."
I laugh despite the seriousness of the conversation. It's a good job the library rules aren't archaic and we're allowed to make noise in some of the spaces. "Sorry."
She shrugs. "Don't be. Sometimes it's helpful. But now is not one of them. I wouldn't be doing a good job as your friend if I didn't try and encourage you to be happy."
"Do you really think we could make it work after everything?"
"There are only two people who have the answer for that one. What does your heart tell you?"
"You know what."
"I'm reasonably sure," Charlotte responds. "But I want to hear you say it."
I side-eye my textbook. It seems like studying is well and truly out of the window.
"I want to try again," I whisper. "But I'm worried it's a mistake and he'll hurt me again."
"He might. There's no way of knowing whether or not this is a relationship that will last, or if it will be over by the end of the year unless you try."
"I'm going to think about it." I'm not sure I'm ready to just say that I'm going to let him back in, but the idea of that is filling me with hope, so maybe it's not something I should be completely ignoring.
"I think that's a good idea."
I pull my textbook back towards me so I can pretend to study while my mind races. Despite not having made up my mind completely, knowing what Lottie thinks helps. If I didn't have the support of my closest friend, then it would be a very different decision to make.
The only thing that remains is working out what my heart wants.