Juniper
Istared out the window, where the night sky was giving way to morning.
Black turned to blue, the first precursor to the sunlight that would cut through and bring the day.
My plan was to be gone long before the first rays of sunlight hit the streets of Idlewild.
The forecast called for snow, but I couldn’t remember the last time a weatherman had been right.
Still, I slipped on my snow boots just in case.
There would probably be a few flurries, but nothing more.
In fact, that would help. The snowfall would cover my scent and tracks in case someone decided to come looking for me. I had no intention of being found.
After my conversation with Beatrice the night before, I’d come home to finalize my plan and gather my courage.
My grandparents had tried to comfort me, to talk to me about what had happened, but I’d politely, and lovingly, asked to be left alone.
There was no way I could tell them what I planned.
At best they’d do all they could to talk me out of it, and at worst one of them might have a heart attack.
The rumors and legends of the Demon Wolf of Shadow Forest had become so prevalent and terrifying, shifters didn’t want their kids running in certain parts of it at night.
So, we kept to the Carter Woods and other public lands.
The five thousand acres Leviathan Cross supposedly lorded over were considered forbidden territory unless the sun was high and you had friends with you.
It was one of the reasons I’d panicked all those years ago when I’d been left alone in them.
I’d been terrified the big, bad Demon Wolf would swoop in and steal me away.
But the man who’d come to my aid that night had been nothing like the nightmarish creature we were told about.
Over the years, I’d come to believe he was Leviathan Cross.
There was no other explanation as to why he’d been in that part of the forest. He’d been kind, gentle, and wise, but there had been an animalistic ferocity to him.
If anyone could teach me how to access my inner wolf, it was him.
I had to try. If I wanted to continue living in Idlewild and take care of my grandparents, I had no other choice.
I shrugged on my coat, then the backpack, pulling the straps tight across my shoulders.
I’d packed enough food for three or four days, a few bottles of water, and some other things I might need while I was out.
The small, single person tent I’d packed would come in handy if I didn’t find him soon.
Spending the night alone in the Shadow Woods wasn’t ideal, but I’d do what I needed to.
Tiptoeing out into the hall, I peered into my grandparents’ room. They both lay beneath a heap of blankets, the comforters rising and falling gently as they slept.
“I love you guys,” I whispered.
I hurried to the front door and left before my fear could stop me. Outside, the chilly wind nearly took my breath away, and I was instantly grateful that I’d worn insulated jeans for this. Digging my gloves out of my pocket, I tugged them on and glanced at the sky.
Everything was coated in a heavy layer of frost, but the sky was clear—a good sign that the weatherman was wrong. The town was silent. No one was awake yet, and I wondered how many others were lying in bed right now, wondering how their lives would go with their new mates.
Beatrice had gone back to the town center after walking me home, to see if she had been paired with anyone. The ceremony had continued after the disastrous first pairing. After all, the elders had a job to do. Pairing young, unmated shifters together ensured the pack continued to grow and thrive.
“Better luck next year,” Beatrice had said when I’d called her to find out how it had gone.
Luck. That was what I needed today. Taking off at a slight jog, I headed to the forest. I had no clue where Leviathan Cross might live—the forest was vast—but he’d found me somewhere near the lake. My plan was to try to find that spot, then go from there.
Beatrice knew my plan, and while she didn’t agree with it, she hadn’t tried to talk me out of it.
She’d promised to help my grandparents while I was gone, and that meant the world to me.
She had her own job, and she couldn’t look after them forever.
Whatever I did, I needed to get back as soon as I could.
I’d budgeted one month. If I couldn’t shift by then, I’d have to come back and face reality.
Until then, Beatrice would do what I couldn’t while I was gone.
The forest was quiet and dark, the bushy branches of the evergreens blotting out whatever light the sky might have cast on my path.
I’d have to be careful not to trip. The last thing I needed was to snap my ankle.
I had no way of calling anyone for help, since I’d left my phone in my bedroom.
I didn’t want anyone using my phone’s location to find me.
I veered off the path in the direction of the lake, doing my best not to think about all the ways this excursion could go wrong.
Putting one foot in front of the other, I thought about what I’d say to Leviathan Cross if I found him.
Would I beg? Maybe it would be best to convince him that helping me would help his image?
What if he didn’t remember me? Worse, what if I was totally off base and the guy I kissed really had been some random dude from Black Creek?
That seemed the least likely, though. There had been something so mysterious and dangerous about the guy. He had to be the legendary wolf.
All those thoughts spun through my mind for a long time, consuming my attention so heavily that I didn’t even realize how close I was to the lake until I stumbled out into the clearing surrounding it.
Skidding to a stop in the dead leaves, I looked up, surprised to find the hard, frozen body of water right in front of me.
“Oh, shit,” I mumbled, glancing at my watch.
Frowning, I stared at the time. That made no sense.
The sun should have been high in the sky by now, but the land was still in muted shadow even here in the clearing.
Tearing my eyes from the watch face, I looked up and felt a tremor of unease.
The sky was so dark, it was almost black.
Heavy clouds sat low enough to give me a twinge of claustrophobia.
Even as I looked, the first few flakes of snow drifted down from above.
“Okay,” I muttered. “Maybe the weather guy was right.”
I had a fleeting thought to turn back. My grandparents would be awake and would have found the note I’d left them. I couldn’t go back less than three hours later with my tail between my legs. No. I had to keep going.
I glanced around, trying to remember where I’d been that night, but my memory was not up to task.
I decided to go north, toward the deepest part of the forest. Snow and leaves crunched under my boots as I walked.
The gentle flurries turned into heavier flakes that coated the surrounding vegetation faster than I’d anticipated.
I tried to keep my mind off the snowfall by imagining how the people in town would react when I returned, padding down Main Street in my new wolf form.
Maybe, once I was a full shifter, Anders would treat me more like he did everyone else in town.
From what I could tell, he treated almost everyone else with kindness and respect.
Maybe I could even grow to care for him, though I doubted I’d ever love him.
Those thoughts did little to tune out the growing cold.
If it was simply temperature, then my insulated clothes would have kept me comfortable, but a harsh wind had begun to blow in from the west, cutting through me like a frigid knife.
Snow now fell in thick sheets, blanketing the forest. This was much worse than any of the forecasts.
Great, I thought as I trudged up a hill. The one day I decide to go trampling through the woods, the weather takes a turn. Wonderful.
I pulled my scarf up to cover my mouth and nose, then shrugged my backpack off one shoulder and took out a pair disposable hand warmers.
Tearing the package open, I shook the hand warmers to activate them, then tucked them into my gloves.
It helped, but the first tremors of fear had begun to swirl in my chest. The forecast had said we’d get a light dusting at best, or two or three inches at worst, but over an inch had already fallen and the sky was bleak and dark gray above, with more snow coming down each minute. Not good. Not good at all.
I huddled behind a massive oak tree, using it for a windbreak. Squatting down, I hugged my knees to stave off my shivers. The wind still curved around the tree, slicing at me as though I’d done it some disservice and it was hellbent on exacting revenge.
I thought about pulling the small tent from my bag, but with the way the wind was howling, I wouldn’t be able to set it up or stake it down.
Plus, it was very small. If this storm turned into a flash blizzard, the thin sheeting and tiny poles would collapse under the weight of snow. I’d be suffocated.
“Damn it!” My voice came out a bit slurred and with less force than I’d intended.
Exhaustion seeped into my bones. My shivering had grown more pronounced after I stopped walking, the blood flow slowing and allowing the cold to creep in.
Fuck, I was in trouble.
Cursing myself, I dragged the backpack off my back, gasping as the wind sliced across my exposed shoulders. With numb fingers, I fumbled with the zipper. I had to try setting up the tent. It would at least stop the wind from cutting through me.
Even as I dug around for it, my brain seemed unable to work right.
When I finally pulled the tent out, I had a hard time remembering which end was the one that opened.
When I figured it out, I loosened the cinch tie and slid the tent out.
The structure poles slipped free first, clattering to the ground, then the nylon sheeting came billowing out.
The wind caught the fabric, tearing it free of the bag.
I cried out in panic as the bright orange material flew away in a flash, like some amorphous jellyfish that had learned to fly out of the water.
“No!”
I ran as fast as I could, desperate to retrieve my lone source of shelter, heedless of the wind and cold.
I ran until sweat beaded on my back and chest beneath my coat.
The snow came down in swirling twists, the clouds themselves had moved even lower, and it was almost like running through fog, and the goddamn wind kept biting into me.
I finally stopped, realizing it was a lost cause.
That was when I turned to find the tree I’d sheltered behind, but I couldn’t see it through the snow.
I’d left my bag of supplies there. Which way had I run?
How far had I gone? How the hell would I get back?
While those panicked thoughts raced through my head, the sweat on my body cooled rapidly, making me even colder.
Slipping to my knees, I tried to pull myself into a tight little ball, retaining all the heat I could. I’d fucked up. Exhaustion washed over me, making it even harder to think. Maybe if I took a quick nap, I’d be able to think straight. I was too tired to go on now, anyway.
The idea pulled at my subconscious, pushing aside all coherent thought.
Yeah, a quick nap to recharge, then I’d be able to remember where my bag was.
When I lay down on the snow-covered ground, I realized I wasn’t even so cold anymore.
Yes, this was a good idea. A person couldn’t think without sufficient rest.
As I lay there, waiting for sleep to overtake me, I saw something strange a few feet in front of my face. Pale yellow flowers peeked out from beneath the snow. Primroses? Those shouldn’t be blooming in the winter.
Blinking, I tried to focus. On second glance, it really was just a small pile of snow. God, I really did need some rest if I was seeing things.