11. Juniper #3
A distant look came into his eyes, as if he was drifting back in time as he spoke.
“I saw how sad she was, how…rudderless and homeless. In that moment, I knew I could take care of her.” He winced.
“Not in a romantic or sexual way, mind you. I never had any feelings toward Nancy—that was her name, Nancy Stevens. It was more that I wanted to take care of people the way I had as alpha. I brought her back here, let her live in my cabin while I built another. She helped build the first greenhouse, then things started rolling. I found around six others that year, and Hidden Grove was born.” He smiled sadly as he pushed his fork listlessly over his plate.
“Nancy died about fifteen years ago. She was a very kind woman all the way up to the end.”
“That’s a beautiful story,” I said.
Levi shrugged. “I feel like most people would have done the same thing if they were in my position.”
I highly doubted that. “Do you like what you do?”
He paused, fork halfway to his mouth. “I don’t really do anything here. Everyone else does most of the work. All I do is protect them.”
“That’s not what I hear,” I said. “You’re kind of a big deal. Everyone here—everyone I’ve met so far, anyway—thinks you’re a step or two away from some sort of messiah or something.”
If he was flattered by my words, he didn’t show it. If anything, he looked like the compliment was ridiculous.
“Anyway,” he said, “back to you. What’s something you like to do for fun? Do you like playing music or singing?” There was an almost hopeful lilt to his voice.
“Not really.” I chuckled. “I can’t carry a tune to save my life.”
“Oh.” Levi’s brow furrowed. “Huh.”
We continued on like that, eating and talking for nearly an hour.
The conversation flowed about as well as could be expected with a man who spent so much time in his wolf form.
While he was clearly rusty when it came to socializing, it was a pleasant and relaxing evening.
The two of us were simply getting to know each other, though some of his questions seemed aimed at something deeper.
I couldn’t quite put my finger on it, but it was like I was being tested and getting all the answers wrong.
“Do you think you’ll be able to help me?” I said, trying to get the conversation going in a different direction.
“Maybe,” he said. “I think it’s more a case of getting you comfortable with the idea first, then guiding you toward your inner wolf. I’ve got a lot of experience, and I think I can help.”
I put my fork down and pushed my plate aside, resting my elbows on the table. “We didn’t get a chance to talk about the other things I need help with.”
Levi wiped his mouth, then tossed his napkin on his plate. “What other things?”
I swallowed, trying to come up with a way to explain. I’d been an outcast among a lot of my peers, and there were several things I’d never been good at since I’d had no practice at it. One was definitely something Anders would want, based on the women I’d always seen him with.
“I don’t really know how to say this without it sounding weird,” I admitted, turning my eyes away.
“Come on,” he said, waving for me to go on. “Spit it out, and I’ll see if I have any expertise.”
“Uh, well… I guess, it’s just that… Well, I haven’t had many relationships. I’m not great at doing the things that would make me the kind of person Anders would like.”
Levi grunted and glared at me in annoyance. He clearly didn’t like that I was so eager to change myself for a guy. But if doing that allowed me to stay in Idlewild and gave me the slimmest chance of a happy life, I’d do whatever necessary.
“Anyway, he’s into girls who are…I don’t know…sexier than I am. They know how to flirt and flaunt what they’ve got. It’s the type he’s always gone for. I’m sure you don’t know how to act like some hot chick, but maybe someone else in Hidden Grove could give me some pointers or something?”
Saying it out loud actually made it way worse. It made my skin crawl. Mayve Levi had a point.
He stared at me for several long seconds, long enough for me to feel a little uncomfortable.
“Can I be honest, June?”
The way he looked at me, like he was peering right into my soul and like what he saw, had another swarm of butterflies attacking my insides.
“Uh, sure,” I said with a shrug as if I couldn’t care less, though I actually cared a lot.
“Personally?” he said with a faint smile and a glimmer in his eyes. “You don’t need to change anything. I think you’re sexy enough for anyone.”
Heat raced across my chest and up my neck. I opened my mouth to respond, but quickly realized I had no words, my throat was dry and my mind blank. He simply stared back at me, wholly unashamed.
Finally, he leaned forward, interlacing his fingers and resting his hands on the table. “How about we focus on getting you to shift first, shall we? After that, we can move on to the… other things.”
His tone sent yet more tingles shooting through my body.
“You’re right,” I said, standing quickly. “I should probably go rest up. Can we start tomorrow?”
“I’ll be here bright and early,” Levi said.
“Okay, cool.” I hurried to the door, grabbed my coat, and rushed out the door before he could even get out of his seat.
It wasn’t until later, when I was in bed, that I realized how rude it had been to rush out like that. But I’d needed to get out. That hungry, desirous stare had been too much. Closing my eyes, I tried to convince myself that I’d imagined it, but as sleep took me, I still hadn’t managed it.