86. Juniper
JUNIPER
Once Levi was out the front door, I grabbed my coat and rushed out the back door.
Lungs burning, eyes stinging, I headed straight for the store, doing my best to stay out of sight.
I didn’t want Levi to see me. He might call out to me and try to continue our discussion.
My heart was hurting too much for that. I couldn’t stomach it. Not right now.
Rounding the corner, I spotted the bright red CLOSED sign in the window. My grandparents must have already made their way to the school gym. Refugees, ready to be led off to Hidden Grove. Led by me.
Leaning against the locked door, I slid down until I sat on the cold concrete sidewalk.
Wrapping my arms around my knees, I laid my face on my forearms and sobbed.
Hot tears dripped down my face onto the ground.
All I could think about was the fact that I wasn’t enough.
I wasn’t Naphele, and I never would be. I couldn’t go out there and fight for the people and the place I loved.
No matter how much I tried to put Naphele behind me, she kept popping up.
She was strong, powerful, a good fighter, and assured of herself on the battlefield.
That was what Levi needed and wanted, whether he admitted it or not.
I could see it in his eyes, hear it in how he spoke.
I knew it wasn’t safe for me out there, but that didn’t stop the stinging hurt of knowing that another woman would be better at the side of the man I loved, even if that woman had been dead for a hundred years.
All the same shit kept coming back up. Each time I thought something had changed, it circled back around like a nightmare that wouldn’t end.
Levi could say he’d left Naphele behind, but the truth was there for anyone with eyes and ears to see and hear.
I could never live up to her. At first it was Levi that couldn’t leave her behind, and now it was me trying to live up to her.
How could we ever get past this? Could we get past it?
Or was all this over before it had even really begun?
“June?”
My head snapped up at the sound of the unfamiliar voice. My eyes were blurred with tears, and I had to wipe them furiously.
“Yes?” I mumbled, my voice thick from crying.
“Are you okay?”
Once my vision cleared, I was able to see who it was. Blaise Boucher.
“Blaise?” I said dumbly, stumbling to my feet. “What are you doing here?” I glanced around. “I thought you and the other alphas were headed off with… well, you know.”
“Yeah, we were,” he said, and he was looking at me with concern, which only made me feel worse. “But I thought you were going too.”
“I guess that was two of us,” I said, my bitterness leaching into my voice.
Blaise frowned, looking uncomfortable. “Is there something I can help you with?”
“I’m fine.” There was no reason for this poor man to deal with my emotional breakdown. “How did you find me?”
He shrugged. “When you didn’t come out of the house with Levi, I figured something was wrong. I waited until everyone had headed off and went inside, but you weren’t there. I tracked your scent here.”
After hearing his explanation, I was even more confused. Why had he gone to that kind of trouble?
“Okay,” I said, now my turn to frown in confusion. “What can I help you with?”
“I made a promise,” he said, then glanced off toward the forest. “I may not get another chance to follow through, and I figured this might be my last chance.” He shoved his hand into his pocket and pulled out a heavy silver ring and handed it toward me.
“The day we met, you seemed to think it was really important to get something that belonged to my great-grandfather Hugo. I had one of my pack members bring this.” He dropped the ring into my palm.
“It was his, and from what I hear it was really important to him. I think my dad told me once that Hugo got it from his grandfather. It’s really old. ”
I inspected the ring. It was an old-school signet ring engraved with a howling wolf’s head flanked by outstretched wings.
With everything that had happened since I’d met Blaise, I’d nearly forgotten about our hunt for Naphele’s actual killer.
Looking down at the hunk of metal, I was filled with excitement, surprise, and sadness.
“You didn’t have to bring me this now,” I said, lifting my eyes to him.
Blaise sighed and shoved his hands into his pockets. “Hugo was a dick. From what I’ve heard, he was an asshole to everyone he met, including Levi. I figure this was a small way of making up for it. I know you said you wanted it for something for Anders, but—”
“It’s not for him anymore, obviously,” I said, “but this is still huge. I’ll, umm, well I’ll find a way to use it for someone who deserves it. Thank you, Blaise. You don’t know how much I appreciate this.”
“Glad I could help,” he said with a shrug, then nodded in the opposite direction. “I guess I should go and help the others lead our teams.” He tilted his head, inspecting my face. “June, are you sure you’re okay? Should I have Levi come check on you?”
“No.” I was surprised by how steady my voice was. “I’ll be okay. Thank you. Go on.”
“Okay,” he said, and then turned, shifted, and ran off, leaving me alone once more.
My gaze drifted back down to the ring in my palm.
If I could trigger a vision with this and perhaps see who killed Naphele, it might allow her soul to rest. It may give her the freedom to finally reincarnate.
To come back to this world and at last be with Levi.
As much as it hurt, I still loved him, and I thought he deserved a happy ending, even if it wasn’t with me.
Clenching my fist around the ring, I ran for the stairs at the side of the building and hurried up while pulling my key from a pocket.
Since I’d started having visions, I’d been keeping a little journal that had notes about each vision.
I wanted that to help me try and focus my next vision.
Maybe, I could even manage to get myself to have one without Levi present if I studied the notes and really focused while holding the ring and wearing the necklace.
After unlocking the door, I rushed to my bedroom and dug through my stuff to find the notebook.
I turned out my drawers, flipped my sheets and covers, and even lay on my stomach to look under my bed.
I couldn’t find it. Shit. I glanced at the clock.
I had to get moving. People were waiting for me to lead them to Hidden Grove.
Cursing, I stood and scanned my room again, trying to remember where the notebook might be.
Had I left it at Anders’s place? Levi’s rental house?
Hell, was it downstairs in the shop? Either way, I was out of time.
The alphas were readying for an attack, and I had to get people to safety. Growling, I rushed back out.
I shoved the ring into my pocket, giving the shop and my home above it one last look.
Before I shifted and ran toward the school, I threw out a prayer that I’d return, that my grandparents could live out their days in the town they loved, and I hoped that Levi survived whatever was coming.
Even if what we had was gone, I still loved him, and I wanted him to survive.