Chapter 25
CHAPTER
TWENTY-FIVE
ADELINE
It’s already mid-season, and Thanksgiving is almost here. Clover is growing so fast, I want time to slow down. She’s laughing and smiling and eating well. She’s a happy child, and I hope that’s because of Damon and me being able to coexist even if we’re not a couple.
That topic couldn’t be more complicated now.
I sleep solely in his bed, where we have sex almost every night except when he’s gone for away games.
There are the other times too, when Clover goes down for a nap and he traps me on the couch.
Or when my mom insists on taking Clover for the night and we sit around practically naked and order in takeout.
The problem now is that it feels as if we’re a couple, but we haven’t had a conversation about it. Neither of us has confessed how we feel about the other, though it seems obvious in our actions.
I’m upstairs at Bryce’s place because Damon has asked me to go out to dinner with him, and I need to borrow something.
He told me he has something he wants to tell me tonight, and I want to make sure I look good.
I had plans to go shopping, but Clover caught a cold earlier this week, and I couldn’t take her out with me.
Tonight is also Miles and Bryce’s first time babysitting Clover.
“I sure hope Damon’s got his shit together, and he’s going to confess his undying love for you tonight,” she says to me from inside the walk-in closet. She comes out holding a gorgeous black dress that wraps to one side, leaving a nice slit in the middle. “This is the one.”
“I love it,” I gush because it’s perfect.
“Great! Try it on.”
I take the dress and go into their bathroom. Miles is downstairs with Damon, and I can only imagine the level of instructions Damon’s giving him on taking care of Clover. I feel bad for Miles.
I don’t want to say anything to Bryce, but I feel the same as her.
I hope that whatever Damon’s reason for taking me out tonight, it has something to do with us.
At first, I was really scared at how close we were becoming, but my feelings have become too strong to turn back now without knowing what we could be.
There’s no denying that I want to be with him as more than just his co-parent or baby mama.
I want to be on his arm as his girlfriend. I want us to commit to each other.
I emerge from the bathroom, and Bryce claps, smiling wide. “Perfect. You’re going to leave him speechless. Do you have heels?”
I nod.
“I’m so excited for you. With Miles, I was more the idiot, like Damon. But Miles won me over, and I couldn’t deny how I felt anymore. I hope Damon has come to his senses like I had to.”
“I have no idea why he wants to have dinner,” I remind her because I’m trying not to get my hopes up. Maybe he’s really had it with Haze and wants us to find a new nanny.
“Stop being so pessimistic. Come on, let’s get you guys going.”
We walk down the cement steps, laughing about this boy in my class who asked me if Damon and I play catch a lot at home. Of course, Bryce had some way to make the comment sound dirty.
When we enter, it’s just as I guessed—Damon is telling Miles everything about Clover. “Here is her pediatrician’s number, but go to the ER if it’s bad. And I don’t mean Ellery, I mean go to the actual hospital.”
“I’m sure we’ll be fine.” Bryce says, sliding her arm around Miles’s waist.
“Don’t feed her more than what we listed. You call us if you have any questions.” Damon points at him.
“No, don’t call us.” I shake my head.
Damon finally notices me. His gaze roams up and down my body, and every nerve ending in me flares to life. His tongue licks his bottom lip. “Damn, you look stunning, Adeline.”
“Thank you.” I take in his suit. I think this one is new. It’s a tighter, slimmer fit and shows off how broad he is and how strong his thighs are. “Same to you.”
I come up alongside him, and he takes my chin in his hand and bends down, placing a kiss on my lips.
I’ll never tire of that. And this is where lines are blurring lately.
Used to be that we’d only be affectionate when and if we were going to sleep together.
But for the past month, he’ll kiss me goodbye when I leave in the morning or come up behind me if I’m cooking and hug me just to do it, not because it’s going to lead anywhere.
And now he’s being affectionate in front of his friends.
What does that mean? Hopefully after tonight, it will all be cleared up in my mind.
“Now you two get going. We have it all taken care of.” Bryce turns around. “Where is the cutie anyway?” She finds Clover on the floor on her new play mat and rushes over to her, falling to her knees right before she reaches the baby.
“Damn, I thought she was going to fall on top of her,” Damon says, staring at me with an expression to say maybe this is a bad idea.
“I have to get my heels.” I go into the other bedroom where my clothes are still housed. We don’t share a closet or a dresser, but that doesn’t seem weird given all the square footage. So what if nothing of mine is in his room?
I slip into my heels and laugh when I notice Clover’s pajamas set out for them with step-by-step instructions on how bedtime works.
“Let’s go,” I say when I leave the room, eager to get out of here.
Damon is watching Miles and Bryce interact with Clover. His hands are in his pockets and his jaw is clenched, his throat tense.
I come up next to him. “Are you ready?”
He looks down at me, and a smile forms on his lips. “Yeah. The sooner we’re gone, the sooner this experiment is over.”
“My mom couldn’t babysit, and it’s good experience for them. They’re our friends and love her just as much as we do.”
“Doubtful.” He grabs my jacket from the coat hook, and I slide my arms into it.
“Have fun, you two.” Bryce waves with the clear impression she hopes for good news when we return.
I’m not looking for a ring or anything, but a declaration that he has feelings for me and wants to officially be in a relationship would be nice.
We say goodbye to Clover and head out to where a car is waiting for us at the curb. The driver gets out and opens the door for us. I slide in first, and Damon joins me, his thigh pressing against mine.
“Where are we going?”
He leans in close, his nose running up and down my jawline, inhaling my scent. “It’s a surprise. You smell amazing, by the way.”
Damon has no idea how intoxicating he is when he does things like that. He slides his hand in mine, running his thumb over my knuckles. I feel some scabs and scrapes on his hand from the last few games.
“How are your hands?” I ask.
He stares at our interlocked fingers. “Better.”
We don’t have to drive too long before the car stops in front of an expensive-looking restaurant. Damon files out first and holds his hand out to help me from the car. I step out, and he wraps his arm around my waist, holding me to him as if I’m his. No man has ever made me feel the way he does.
I’m not worried about the press photographing us. I think we’re old news now. After they got enough pictures of Damon with Clover, they seemed to have moved on to more interesting things—like the football star whose brother is in trouble with the law.
When we get inside, he tells the hostess his last name, and it doesn’t even bother me when her eyes take him all the way in. I’m at his side. I’m the one he wants. Now I’m getting turned on thinking about that.
She shows us to a small table for two tucked away in a dark corner. There’s a box sitting on my seat when we arrive, and I look at it.
Damon is quick to pick it up, waiting for me to sit before placing it in my lap. “It’s a gift.”
“I do love gifts. But it’s not my birthday.”
“Just something I wanted to give you.” He folds himself into the seat across from me. “Go ahead and open it.”
I suck in a deep breath to keep my excitement and nerves at bay, then untie the blue bow on top and lift off the top of the box, smiling immediately. It’s a Grizzlies jersey with the number twenty-three on it. I pick it up and turn it around to see SISKA over his number.
“Bryce wears Miles’s, and Ellery wears Cooper’s. You should wear mine.”
I smile and clasp it to my chest. “Thank you. I’ll wear it this weekend.”
“Good.” He nods. “There’s something else in the box.”
I dig past another layer of tissue paper and find a onesie with twenty-three and SISKA on the back.
“For whenever we feel comfortable with her coming to the games.”
Who knows? If she keeps being that happy little girl, maybe I’ll get her a set of headphones and bring her with me.
The waitress comes over, and Damon orders us an expensive bottle of wine. Once we’ve looked over the menu and ordered, sipping our wine after it’s been delivered, Damon fidgets in his seat.
We chat for a bit about nothing of consequence until his obvious nerves make me anxious, so I finally ask, “You okay?”
“Yeah.” He raises his wineglass as though he wants to give a toast, so I raise mine as well.
“I just really wanted to thank you for moving down here during the season. These past few months have been so great for me, having Clover here every morning and most nights. I know the commute for you is hellish, so I wanted to take you to dinner to show you how much I appreciate it, appreciate you. I know if you hadn’t agreed to move down here, I wouldn’t have the bond I have with her today.
” He clinks his glass with mine, then sips from it.
I sip mine and slowly lower my glass to the table.
There has to be more, but he’s no longer fidgeting. In fact, he seems much more relaxed. As if he can enjoy himself now that he’s got that off his chest.
“Sorry if I seemed weird. I just hate talking about feelings. I wanted it to come out right.” He sips his wine again, smiling wide, the perfect portrait of relaxed elegance.
I sit there, unsure what to do. I’d been hoping for a declaration of his feelings for me, but he’s arranged this entire night to essentially thank me for living in his apartment rent-free and letting him fuck me every day.
He’s thanking me for being a full-service co-parent with perks and allowing him to be around his baby girl all the time.
“That’s it?” I ask, my eyes on the fancy tablecloth.
“What?” he asks.
My gaze floats up to his. “That’s it? That’s what tonight is about? You thanking me for commuting to work so you can see your daughter whenever you’re home? How about thanking me for the free pussy, why stop at just the commute?”
“Adeline…” He glances around.
“God, when will my gut steer me right? You’re still that Damon.”
“That Damon?” He sits up straighter and looks around again because I’m probably causing a scene, but I don’t really care.
“The guy who would bring me to dinner but think about fucking the hostess.”
He glances back toward the front of the restaurant. “I don’t wanna fuck her.”
Tears well up in my eyes, but there’s zero chance I’m going to let him see them. “Do you really not feel it? Or are you just ignoring it? Are you that afraid of commitment?”
“I’m not sure what you’re talking about.” He reaches over to grab my hand, but I pull it away, fisting my hands in my lap.
“I love you,” I say. “Do you really not know that?”
The color drains from his face. “Adeline… we’re having fun. We agreed that it was just sex, that it didn’t mean anything.” He lowers his voice and leans over the table.
“Yeah, I did agree to that like an idiot, because if I’m honest with myself, I was probably already falling in love with you before I ever slept with you that night.”
He shakes his head, panic lacing his features. “No. We’re doing this for Clover. Co-parenting better than anyone we know. This was never about love or commitment. My only commitment is to Clover.”
I shut my eyes, and the tears spill down.
I nod and open them, meeting his horrified gaze.
“And I’m thankful you’re so committed to our daughter, but it turns out I’m just a fool.
Have a fun lonely life, Damon.” I get up from the chair, tossing the napkin on the table.
He stands, but I put my hand on his chest. “Don’t worry, I’ll never keep Clover from you.
You’re a wonderful father, but I can see now that you’re never going to be a wonderful partner.
I can’t play the game anymore. Goodbye, Damon. ”
“What? I don’t understand,” he whisper-shouts.
I turn back to him. He’s so devastatingly handsome my heart splits wide open. “And that’s the problem.”
I wind through the tables and out of the restaurant, jogging a block with tears streaming down my face before I catch a cab back to our… er… his apartment.