Chapter 30
CHAPTER
THIRTY
COOPER
The clock runs out, and the team on the sidelines rushes the field.
The Chicago Grizzlies are the division champs once more and on our way to the big game, crossing our fingers for the big game.
I head over and shake hands with Trent Yoders, the quarterback for New York, as well as a few other team members I know. We’re shuffled out quickly, and I’m pulled aside to give an interview immediately.
“Congratulations,” the interviewer, Samson, I think, says.
“Thanks.” Someone tosses me a T-shirt and puts a hat on my head that says we’re the champs in our division this year.
“You played one helluva game. How does it feel getting this much closer?”
I nod, knowing where he’s going, even if he doesn’t say it. “Good.”
“That’s it?”
“I’m not gonna celebrate until we’re there. And then there will be the pressure to win. So, you’ll see me excited when we’re holding the trophy in our hands.”
I don’t tell him that the big reason why is that I recently did that in my personal life. I thought Elle and I were golden and that we were endgame, only to figure out I was alone in that belief. She wasn’t ready to get into a relationship with me. At least the same kind of one I wanted.
“And here comes the big guy himself, Coach Stone.”
I hug Coach, and he pats me on the back. I slide out of the interview and head into the locker room.
The champagne sprays everywhere, thanks to Damon. I sip from the bottle but put it down, just wanting to get in the fucking shower and on the plane home.
It’s been hard being so close to Ellery for the past twenty-four hours and denying myself seeing her. I almost caved last night after everyone went to bed. It would’ve been easy to sneak out of the hotel. But my willpower has won—I just don’t know how much longer it will hold out.
All my teammates celebrate, and I stand by the locker, stripping off my jersey and pads.
“Way to go, Rice!” a woman’s voice rings out, stopping all the chaos in here like the screech of a record.
I turn to find Bryce and Adeline in the locker room.
“Hey, babe, as happy as I am to see you, there are things here you shouldn’t see.” Damon approaches Adeline, covering her eyes.
“Damon, I’m a grown woman,” she argues, but he doesn’t remove his hand.
My vision shoots to Bryce, who only has her eyes on one thing: me. She shoves me, and I rock back in surprise.
“What the hell?” I glare at her.
“Stop being a baby. Go over to that hospital and grovel and get our girl back.”
I shake my head and blow out a breath, giving her a look like she’s crazy.
“You mope around all the time unless you’re on the field.
I gave you a full month and until this game to figure your shit out.
And even then, only because Miles told me to, but this is your do-or-die moment.
If you don’t go to her now, I guarantee you’re going to lose her forever. ” She pokes me in the chest.
“Jesus, control her, Cavanaugh.” I look over at my teammate.
“No, because I agree with her.”
“So do I.” Adeline raises her hand around where Damon is covering her eyes. “Damon, I’m not Clover.” She tugs on his arm.
“You’re not going to see other guys’ junk,” he says.
“Damon’s afraid ours are bigger,” one of our teammates says to Adeline.
“Hell, get the fucking rulers out. I know where I stand in this group, but my wife isn’t going to see it.”
“This is ridiculous,” Adeline says, and if I could see her eyes right now, I bet they’d be rolling.
“Cooper, please listen to Bryce. We were with her last night. She misses you the same as you miss her. You think we can’t see it, that you hide it, but it’s there. The win today isn’t as sweet, is it?”
Damn Adeline.
“There’s no way it is. She’s always been the first person you look for after a win. And I should know, I’ve been sitting next to her for years during your games.” Bryce keeps coming at me. Every step I take back from her, she takes two toward me.
“Jesus.” I lean in close. “She doesn’t want me,” I say through gritted teeth.
She looks behind me, hopefully cluing in that I don’t want this entire locker room in my business. I’m their fucking captain, the leader on that field, and I don’t want them thinking I’m some lovesick puppy dog.
Searching the area, she grabs my arm and tugs me into a room off the hallway. Miles, Damon, and Adeline follow, Adeline being led by Damon. Once we’re behind a closed door, Adeline pulls away from him.
“That was highly unnecessary,” she tells Damon, and he gives her some kind of look, and they grow closer as if magnets can’t keep them apart. “Congratulations,” she coos at him.
“Why won’t you people leave me alone?” I ask, sitting in a chair.
“Because we love you,” Bryce says, sitting down across from me. Miles is right next to her.
Adeline and Damon are in their private world in the corner.
“She doesn’t want me, not the way I want her.”
“And how is that?” Bryce crosses her arms.
“I don’t want conditions on how I love her.
If I want to see her, if I want to surprise her, I don’t want to think about whether it’s my night to see her or not.
We just had different ideas of what it would mean when we got together, I guess.
Hell, I’d marry her tomorrow and start a family the next day. ”
“And you don’t understand why someone might get scared of moving so fast, especially when they waited so long to be with you?” Bryce asks, concern marking her features.
“If she loved me like I love her, she’d want those things too.” I lean back in my seat, completely aware that might be ridiculous.
“Okay, I’m going to make this simple. We’ve both known Ellery for a long time. And what does she need in her life to feel safe and secure?” Bryce asks me like you would a four-year-old.
“Control,” I say and roll my eyes.
“And to feel like she has that control, what did she become?”
“I know all this, but it’s me, B, me.” I jab my chest with my finger.
“Just answer,” she says.
“A perfectionist.”
“So, is she going to let you guys finally embark on a relationship only for it to capsize a month later?”
“Isn’t that what happened?” Damon asks from the back of the room.
“Stay out of this,” Bryce says without turning to look at him. “All those rules and stipulations were her needing to control what was happening between the two of you, but what she doesn’t understand yet is that love is uncontrollable.”
“So, tell her that.” I cross my arms. I sound like a petulant teenager.
“I’m not the one who loves her despite her faults. Make her see it, Coop. Let her feel safe in your bubble, and eventually she’ll loosen them up.”
“You love her, right?” Miles asks.
“The first time I laid eyes on her, something inside me told me she was mine.” I push a hand through my sweaty hair.
“Then why are you letting all this bullshit stop you guys from being together?” Miles asks.
“So what if she lives here and you’re in Chicago?
You both have enough money to fly back and forth.
Once the season is over, you can spend months here in New York with her.
And let’s be honest, you don’t have decades of your career left.
” Miles smiles at Bryce like “aren’t you proud of me,” and she might give him a treat.
“I’m not even sure if she’d want me anymore,” I say. That’s what’s stopped me from reaching out. The idea that she’ll tell me it really is over—forever.
“Did you get to have all this success in football with self-doubt? Go get what you want, and if she says no, fight harder!” Bryce shouts.
I contemplate what they’re saying. Will I ever be satisfied unless I know what we could have been if we’d tried? No. I don’t know that I could ever move past it. I’d always wonder.
Bryce is right about Ellery—she does value control. In the long run, does it matter that she’s not ready for everything I am right now, as long as she is eventually?
Bryce is right, this last month has been horrible.
“I’m going,” I say, standing.
They all cheer as I rush out of the room.
I don’t stop until Damon calls my name. I turn around and have a T-shirt thrown in my face. “Don’t get arrested before you get there.”
Pulling the T-shirt over my head, I race out of the complex and into the first taxi that I find. I go to grab my phone, but I don’t have it. Shit.
The taxi driver looks at me for a second, and I fear he’s a lifer New York fan and might not drive me to the hospital, but he speeds off.
“What a game, huh?” He starts to make chit-chat.
“Sure was.”
“New York should’ve taken you that year. To make that trade and give it to Chicago.” He pounds on his horn.
I’m not going to say anything, but Chicago was where I was meant to be. I’ve never been as happy as when Elle tackled me to the ground because it ended up that we’d be in the same city. All the moments of my life with her run through my mind on the drive to the hospital.
My bruised ego got me where we are today. Never again. She should be with me, celebrating.
He carries on, and I let him act like an analyst who has studied the game for years. But my mind is too preoccupied to think of anything but Elle and if she’s going to accept me back, but Bryce is right, I’m not taking no for an answer.
What feels like a lifetime later, the taxi pulls up to the curb, and I open the door and freeze. “Shit. I have no money.” I turn back to him. “Sit tight, and I’ll figure out how to get you some.”
“Don’t worry about it. Go get your girl.”
How the fuck did he know?
“Thanks?” I get out and slam the door. My cleats almost make me fall on my back when I hit the concrete, but I recover.
Walking as fast as I can into the emergency room, I go to the nurse’s desk. “I need to see Dr. Ellery Wallace.”
She looks at me, her mouth hanging open. “Oh my god, you’re…”
“Yep, I know who I am. Can you please get her?”
The girl who looks so young she must be new continues to stare, and someone walks past and scans a badge to get back into the ER, so I slide through the door, causing her to snap out of her trance.
“Elle!” I yell. “Ellery!” I walk down the hallway, looking into every room.
“What the hell?” Dr. Wallace, and not the one I’m looking for, comes out of a room, standing in front of me with his arms crossed. “You can’t just come in here and interrupt our operation.”
“I’m sorry, sir. Where is Elle? I need to talk to her.”
He studies me for a second. This is a wall I hadn’t intended to face. The man doesn’t want me with his daughter, and I’ll have to plead our case to him, but the only fight I have in me right now is the one for Elle—she matters most.
“Please tell me where she is.”
“Coop?” That’s her voice, I can’t be imagining it. I turn and find her standing with her coat on and a bag slung over her arm.
“Ellery!” I run over, slipping on my cleats and ending up on my knees right in front of her. Oh well, I need to grovel anyway. “God, you look beautiful. I’ve missed you so much.”
“What are you doing here?” she asks.
“I’m here for you.”
She says nothing, so I continue. I take her hand in mine.
“I’m here to tell you I was wrong. We can make this work.
I’ll do whatever it takes. I’ll get us each a membership in one of those private plane groups so we can go in and out of small airports and save time.
I’ll set you up with a driver to meet you on both ends of any flight, and I’ll hire you an assistant to clean your place and do your groceries, so you don’t have to worry about that stuff if you’re visiting me.
We can figure this out. And after the big game, I’m all yours.
I’ll move out here and explore this city just like we did eight years ago in Chicago.
But I need you in my life, Ellery, and not as a friend.
You know, just to be clear. If you’re not ready for the other stuff, that’s fine. But I can’t live without you.”
“Cooper…” She places her hand on my cheek.
I squeeze my eyes shut. “Please tell me I’m not too late to fix this, Elle. Please.”
“You’re not too late,” she says in a soft voice. “Except I’m coming back to Chicago. Not right away, I have some responsibilities here, but I’m moving back. I want to go into family medicine.”
My heart is beating so hard I can hear it in my ears, and I have to check that she’s saying what I think she’s saying. “And us?”
“Yes, to all of it. I’m sorry I didn’t see it all when you did, but I do now.
I was scared. What if we ruined it by going too fast?
What if it affected my career? And I don’t know what kind of mom or wife I’ll be, and that scares me.
But I do want those things. I’d rather screw up with you than be with anyone else and not have those things. ”
“You’re going to be an amazing mom. But we don’t have to worry about that right now. Just come home with me where you’ve belonged since junior year.”
She gets down on her knees, too. “This time, we’re sealing it with a kiss.” She wraps her arm around my neck and pulls me into her, her lips smashing into mine. When things get a little heated, Dr. Wallace clears his throat.
“Are you off?” I ask, staring at her purse and coat.
“I was coming to get you.” She looks over my shoulder, and I turn to see a gentleman in a New York jersey smiling over at us.
I smile wide. “You were?”
“Yeah,” she says, and I’m clearly missing something, but I don’t care. “Let’s get you showered.”
“As in, both of us are going to shower me?”
“Rice…” Dr. Wallace warns.
“Sorry,” I say, standing, then helping Ellery up and wrapping my arm around my girl’s shoulders. I’ll never let her go again.
Once we’re outside, the taxi driver is still there, so we climb in.
“Why did you come to get me?” she asks on our way back to the stadium.
“Because you’ve always been my girl, and you always will be.”
She grabs my shirt and tugs me closer. “Good line, Rice.”
“It’s the truth.”
“Ditto.”