Chapter 19 #2
Dad stood from his chair, effectively telling me there was no room to argue about it.
Scarlett waited for Dad to round his seat so she could loop her arm through his.
She tossed me a final nasty grin before walking with him toward the door.
It was a view I was familiar with—Dad’s back.
He never saw me like he used to, yet a foolish part of me still clung to the hope that maybe one day he’d turn around and smile at me again.
He’d see a daughter he could be proud of.
Desperate for even a flicker of that, I leapt up from my seat just as they reached the doorway. “D-Dad. Are you still coming by the bookstore for my release day signing next month?”
Dad looked over his shoulder and raised a brow. “Release day?”
The confusion written across his face and laced in his voice nearly made my heart deflate. Still, I plowed on. “Yeah. Don’t you remember? My new book releases January 30th, and I’m signing at the store downtown. You told me you’d stop by. I’m even off work for it.”
“Oh.” Dad looked at his wife and assistant. “Is that on my calendar?”
Scarlett gave Dad a sympathetic frown. “I’ll double check, but I believe you have plans that day.”
When Scarlett’s blue eyes locked with mine, I knew she was lying. He didn’t have plans, but she’d now make some.
Dad gave me a small smile. “I’ll try to make it there, sweetheart.”
I plastered on my own grin and tucked away the bruising ache in my heart.
I watched the two leave, my hope leaving the room with them.
A heavy resolve took up residency in my chest. I’d been promised Dad’s presence before.
This time would be no different than those other times. He wouldn’t be there.
But unlike the past where I celebrated my victories in lonely silence, I wouldn’t have to do that this time. Because now, I had someone who would be there.
“Dollface,” Bradley called softly.
I looked up to find him standing in the doorway of my office. All warm thoughts of Dante left as I found myself face to face with this man again. For all my effort in trying to put distance between us, Dad was keen to see that space close.
A weary sadness filled his blue eyes. “I want to talk. Please, Dollface. I really want to talk.”
Despite all of the defenses I had in place, Bradley’s pleading tone cracked the wall.
I knew breaking up with him wasn’t a mistake.
Being shackled to Bradley brought daily stress, and I’d found peace in being without that.
Not to mention, the experiences with Dante had already overshadowed a lot of the hurt I’d felt in my less-than-affectionate relationship.
Did I miss Bradley at times? Of course, I did. I’d been with him for eight years. I’d given so much of myself to him, and that couldn’t go away in a mere few weeks.
Those lingering feelings of comfort, of safety in what was familiar, had me nodding slightly. Maybe talking would be exactly what we both needed to move on and close this chapter for good.
Bradley smiled and took the seat my dad had vacated. He shifted nervously. “So how have you been these past two weeks? I’ve been a fucking mess wondering what you’re doing and how I can fix things. I want to be with you, Serenity.”
I shook my head and looked at my lap. “I know it’s hard. It hasn’t been easy for me to let go of you, either. But I’m trying to find … I don’t know. Myself? What I want for the future of my wellbeing and happiness? I’m not really sure how to explain it. I just … I need to be apart.”
“For how long? Are you dating other people?” He paused, and his hands tightened in his lap. “Are you dating Dante?”
The mention of Dante’s name was accompanied by flashes of bare brown skin, a charming grin, and his perfect body on top of mine.
I quickly swallowed and hoped the images would follow.
Now was not the time to get hung up on how my friendship with Dante had turned into an intimate one.
That would just hurt Bradley, and as much as I wanted to keep our relationship over, I didn’t want to hurt him.
“I’m not dating anyone,” I answered, picking at my thumb.
Strained silence stretched with only the ticking clock on the wall.
For all he’d said about wanting to talk, it seemed the conversation was over.
I felt his eyes searing into my face, but the lingering hurt scouring my heart kept me from meeting his gaze.
It was only when he softly called, “Dollface,” that I found myself looking at him.
That was a mistake.
The minute our eyes met, his brow hardened, and he asked, “Aren’t you going to say anything else?”
I blew out a hard breath and stared at my raw thumb, which I couldn’t stop picking at. “What is there to say, Bradley? We went over this already.”
“I don’t agree,” he snapped, reaching across my desk to clasp my hand. “I don’t agree with what we went over. Other than the one accident, I’ve been good to you, haven’t I?”
“Yes, but—”
“I’ve been so fucking faithful to you all these years, haven’t I?”
I nodded, squeezing my eyes shut. He knew this was one way to get me.
Faithfulness in a relationship was so important to me, because I’d witnessed my own Dad’s infidelity destroy my mother and our family.
The fear of having that done to me made me question Bradley in the past, but he’d always been loyal.
He’d never done to me what I feared most.
“Yes, you have,” I answered softly.
“So then what’s the problem? Why do you think we can’t fix this?
I’ve stopped drinking. I’ve given you the space you asked for.
It’s been weeks. Can’t you come back to me now?
Think about all we’ve been through, all of our memories, all of our plans for the future.
Please. I’ll do anything for you, Dollface. ”
I shook my head and stood from my desk. This was pointless. Talking wouldn’t do anything. We’d just go around in circles, and the more we did, the more frustrated he’d get, which would just result in him lashing out.
“I have to get home,” I told him, gathering my stuff and walking past him. “I have writing to do.”
He leapt up from his seat and snagged my arm to pull me close. His eyes pleaded with mine as he whispered, “If you need more time, fine. Fine, Serenity. But please don’t cut me off like this. Stop avoiding me. Stop ignoring me. Please. You’re—You’re breaking my heart.”
My own squeezed painfully upon hearing how wrecked he sounded. My bottom lip trembled, and my eyes burned. The past thirty minutes had been rough for a multitude of reasons—Dad and Scarlett’s talk and now this. Heaviness wrapped around me, sucking the life and light out of my insides.
I was ruining everything around me while searching for what I wanted in my life, and that realization had the lump in my throat growing.
I didn’t want to destroy Dad’s dream for the future of his business and succession.
I didn’t want to hurt the boy I’d loved for so long.
I didn’t want to be a source of pain for anyone.
“Okay,” I whispered around the tightness in my chest. “I won’t ignore you anymore.”
A grin lit up his face, and he nodded hard. “Good. Great. Thank you.”
I didn’t respond. I pulled my arm free and quickly left the office behind, though the dark emotions I desperately wanted to leave there too followed.