21. We’re gonna need a bigger boat #2
Rafael introduced me to a slew of execs in bland suits, musicians in dramatic finery, and professionals like music editors and scoring mixers dressed in a range of fashions—all of whose names I immediately forgot.
Too many new faces blended together. Hopefully, none of them would expect me to remember them.
Many people tensed up and fidgeted around my composer; especially among the executive-types.
Whether they were intimidated by his sheer physical presence, his reputation, or some past encounter, I couldn’t say.
Others looked him up and down with unmistakable intent and side-eyed me. Rafael ignored all of it.
I caught a whiff of lavender. Out of the corner of my eye, I spied long, blonde hair and half of a familiar face. Fuck, what was Molly Lively doing here? At my side, Rafael stiffened, propelling me toward the opposite end of the ballroom.
He pointed out but distinctly did not introduce me to a stocky masc with short, spiky green hair and a huge septum ring. Dressed in an impeccably tailored, sleeveless plaid suit, floral tattoos graced their impressive arms.
“That is Benson Ives; a powerhouse in sound design and mixing.” A powerhouse in build, too. “We were involved in the past as well, but it ended badly.”
“Have you slept with every beautiful person in the industry?” I’d meant it teasingly, but Rafael’s mouth thinned.
“Only the interesting ones.” His voice was tight.
“I’m sorry! That came out wrong. I really didn’t mean it as a criticism.”
He relaxed marginally. “Benson is ace. It was a power dynamic gone sideways.”
Benson looked over at us, be-ringed eyebrows drawing together in a stormy expression over their grey eyes.
They had very full, plush lips, painted wine-dark to set off their pale skin.
The sheer strength of personality radiating off them told me exactly why Rafael had been drawn in. I almost took a step forward myself.
Shit. Elaine, stop staring!
Rafael steered me away with a hand on the small of my back. “Benson is a toxic dom. Repeatedly tried to collar me. The last time was so bad only the restraints kept me from attacking them. We have not spoken since.”
My chest tightened. “Has anyone ever respected your boundaries?”
“Mandeep did,” he said softly. “That might have been my only truly amicable breakup. He wisely dumped me before I had the chance to drag him to hell.”
I squeezed Rafael’s hand. “Did you love him?”
“I thought I did. He thought he loved me as well. My inability to say it was one of the deciding factors in the end.” Rafael took my empty champagne glass and set it on a passing tray, snagging full replacements.
He clinked his glass against mine. “I vastly prefer switches these days, anyway.” There was that devil’s feather I loved; the mischief returned to his eyes.
We drifted toward the edge of the room; far from Molly Lively and Benson Ives. “It seems I do too.”
Rafael pressed the back of my hand to his lips. The warmth traveled all the way down my arm and settled in my chest, comforting as a cat purring in my lap. I kissed his knuckles in return, and he rewarded me with the eye crinkles.
A bellowed, “BUBBELEH!” made me jump. “How does someone so tall hide in a crowd? You made me search for miles! So, the Angel of Music has deigned to come down from on high to grace the mortals with his presence, has he?”
A short, stout, moderately tanned woman in a silver silk suit, with a mop of grey hair and cat-eye glasses perched on her nose, marched over to us. The diamonds around her neck could easily double as a breastplate. The ones on her fingers and ears might feed a small nation.
This must be the infamous Kathy Friedman.
“You’re Elaine!” Kathy shook my hand with gusto. “I like the look of this one. She has honest, soulful eyes, unlike some of those harpies you’ve catted around with. Great rack, too.”
She winked at me. I fought the urge to cover my chest.
Rafael sighed loudly. “For fuck’s sake, Kathy.”
The director went on like he hadn’t spoken.
“Thank you for prying my boy out of his bat cave. I told him, I said, this party’s close, you have no excuses.
And he growls at me—you know how he growls—‘Kuzum, I hate these fucking things’.
” Her imitation of his deep voice knocked a helpless guffaw loose from my throat.
“Well, I had to break out the big guns,” she made finger guns at Rafael, “and get Richard to back me up. You know Richard Bateman’s here? ”
I was lost. “Who is Richard?”
“My agent,” Rafael said. “He is good at his job, but we annoy each other, so Kathy intercedes.”
Kathy pushed against his arm. “Rich loves you like a son.”
He rolled his eyes. “Richard’s son is in prison for dealing meth.”
“Oh, you hush.” She turned her weighty attention back to me. “Really, I just wanted to meet the girl my Bubbeleh has been gushing about.”
Gushing? Points of heat rose in my cheeks, and I glanced at Rafael. He found something fascinating on the ceiling.
“You know, I don’t have much call for fantasy, but I’m always looking for good writers. Rafael tells me you’re very talented.” She pressed her card into my palm in a way that brooked no argument.
My face boiled so hot I could fry an egg on my forehead. A feline smile curled the edges of Rafael’s mouth.
Kathy cackled. “Oh, honey, don’t be shy. My boy knows what he’s talking about. If he says you’re good, you’re good. You watch out for him, though, Elaine. Way too smart and charismatic for his own good, and mean as a subway rat if you back him into a corner.”
“Oh, I know.” I cocked my head to stare up at him.
He gave me a tired look.
Kathy swatted his arm. “Bubbeleh, you light up my life, but you better be nice to this treasure. Honey, if he makes you cry, you call me and I’ll make him cry.”
Amazing how I’d barely gotten in a single sentence, and yet she’d already taken me under her wing.
Rafael groaned, laying a hand over his heart. “Kuzum, you wound me.”
“Not yet, I haven’t. I’ll pluck all that pretty hair out and give you a good switching with it, so help me.”
He laughed. “That is not the threat you think it is, Kathy.”
I bit my lip hard.
“Feh! Come on, we need to talk about the October project.” Kathy grabbed his jacket sleeve and dragged him after her. “Armin Fetterman’s here, and so are Jacques and Fatma. You remember Fatma.”
“I remember everything.” Rafael let himself be dragged with an apologetic glance back at me. “Sorry. I will return shortly.”
It was like watching a yorkie bully a mastiff.
I snagged another glass of champagne. Determined to be properly social, I affixed what I hoped was a friendly smile to my face and tried to strike up a conversation with the people wandering past.
Might as well befriend the wall sconces.
Everyone seemed to know each other, and they either ignored me or gave me a brief acknowledgement and then ignored me.
Social anxiety crept up my spine like a spider under my clothes, exacerbated by the buzzing crowd noise.
I studied the elaborate chandeliers. Were they Chihuly?
“What are you doing over here all alone? Did Rafael abandon you?” Mandeep came over, concern creasing his otherwise smooth forehead.
Relieved to see a familiar face, I shrugged. “Kathy pulled him away for some business stuff.”
“Rude! She could have brought you along.” He sobered, looking me over. “Actually, I’d like to chat about some things regarding Rafael if you don’t mind. Nothing weird, I promise.”
My belly tensed. “I think I know what you’re going to say, but I’m listening.”
He led me over to the chairs resting against the wall, and we sat. “Ah, so Rafa told you about his past. He’s pretty good about leading with that. I don’t mean to spill all his tea, but I want you to be fully aware of what you’re walking into. Do you know about the violent incidents1?”
I nodded solemnly. “I hate that people call him an ‘abuser’ because he has uncontrollable reactions to being sexually assaulted. Nobody would bat an eye if it were a woman defending herself against a man. Rafael says he doesn’t care about the gossip, but how do I push back when I hear that without violating his privacy? ”
Mandeep smiled with relief. “That’s what I hoped you’d say. I usually tell people he’s a combat veteran with severe PTSD, and that’s a bad combo with partners who are disrespectful of his triggers. Most folks understand it when it’s framed like that.”
“Oh, that’s perfect.” It was so obvious in retrospect. “We’ve talked so much about everything else I forget he’s also a vet. How long ago did y’all date?”
“It’s been almost a decade now.” A corner of Mandeep’s mouth drew up in a grimace.
“I feel a little responsible for that mess with Molly Lively. Rafa got pretty depressed after we broke up. He said it wasn’t from the break-up itself.
But I doubt it was a coincidence that she got her hooks in him not six months later.
She’d been after him for ages, and he’d never once glanced in her direction until then. ”
“He hasn’t told me much about it apart from how it ended.”
Mandeep shook his head. “That entire relationship was so toxic. Pure self-destruction on his part. Molly was insanely jealous. She’d go through his phone looking for reasons to freak out, even though Rafa actively shut other people down.
Didn’t matter. She’d scream at him and throw things.
Cut his cheek with a plate once. He said she used to hit him too, and not in the fun, sexy way. ”
“God, it sounds like she also has IED.” I couldn’t imagine throwing things at anyone, let alone someone with a temper like Rafael’s.
“Nah, Molly has spoiled rich white girl syndrome. Her whole family is like that. Magically, her tantrums always stopped the instant Rafael did whatever she wanted. He called me from the car more than once, literally driven from his own house because she wouldn’t let him de-escalate.”