21. We’re gonna need a bigger boat #3
‘Do not follow me if I leave the room’, Rafael had said. He was easy to find in the crowd, standing literally head and shoulders above the rest. I wished I could hear his voice over the billowing noise. It would help ground me.
I also really hoped he wouldn’t bump into Molly. “That must have been so miserable. I’ve had some shitty exes, but that’s next-level abusive.”
Mandeep folded his arms, displeasure tightening his expression.
“Molly once smashed an antique violin during an argument. Rafa got so mad he drove all the way down to LA that night just so he wouldn’t knock her ass out.
It all blew up shortly after.” He sighed, running a hand through his thick hair.
“Goddamn. Did she have a death wish?” Protective anger coiled at the base of my spine.
“She thinks she’s untouchable. She also complained about him to anyone who’d listen, making herself out to be a perfect angel, but I caught her berating waitstaff once.
You would not believe the nastiness pouring out of that woman’s mouth.
Rafael would have dumped her on the spot if he’d heard that. ”
I couldn’t wrap my head around it. “Why did she want to date him if all she did was treat him like shit?” Maybe he hadn’t been as nice to her as he was to me, but that was no excuse.
“Bragging rights? I mean, look at him. Rafael has a certain mystique, you know? Molly wouldn’t be the first to treat him like a trophy.
” He looked around, jewelry clinking, and leaned in.
“I’m glad to see him dating again, but listen, Elaine.
He desperately needs someone understanding and very, very patient.
He’s worked hard on himself, and he’s come a long way, but you still need to be careful.
I triggered him once by accident, and it was fucking terrifying. ”
I shivered. If someone as kind as Mandeep obviously was could trigger Rafael, what were my odds?
Like he was reading my mind, Mandeep nodded. “I don’t remember exactly how it happened, but I slipped and accidentally planted my hand right on Rafael’s throat with my full weight. Mr. Hyde came out instantly—he threw me off the bed. You know that huge bed at his place?”
I nodded. That explained Rafael’s reaction to Molly’s assault. Get the attacker away from him.
“I wasn’t hurt, but I jumped back against the wall, talking to him in a soothing voice.
He swayed in place, shaking his head and breathing hard.
” Mandeep mimicked the action, and I shivered.
“No recognition in his eyes whatsoever. I left the room, and thankfully he didn’t follow me.
That night I slept in the guest room with the door locked. ”
“Jesus.” Each word added more weight on my lungs; a witch trial by pressing.
“By the next morning, he wasn’t really back to normal. Took him until the afternoon to fully come around.”
“I’ve seen that before.” Rafael’s energy crash after the fight came to mind. I frowned. “I’m sorry that happened to you.”
Mandeep waved away my concern. “He didn’t remember anything, but he was profusely apologetic when I told him what happened.
I broke up with him after that, though. It scared me too much, on top of everything else.
” He studied my face. “Have you been able to navigate his temper? Rafael can be goddamned vicious when he’s angry.
I’ve watched him psychologically dismantle CEOs and make lawyers cry.
It’s part of his condition, but whew. He’s apologized to me many times over the years. ”
I winced, searching for Rafael in the crowd again. Somehow, he’d disappeared.
“He got a little heated with me once, but he controlled himself quickly. It’s only been three months, though. We’ve talked about ways to manage potential arguments, and it doesn’t seem unreasonable.” The dancing bubbles in my champagne flute helped calm my racing thoughts. “I’m pretty sensitive.”
Mandeep laid a hand on my shoulder. “I promise I’m not trying to scare you off.
Rafael deserves happiness. He’s tried so hard to overcome his demons, and he’s truly a romantic at heart.
But being close to him is kind of like being close to a tame tiger.
Don’t forget who you’re dealing with, or you’ll get mauled. ”
“Aslan is not a tame lion,” I muttered.
Mandeep’s brows raised in confusion.
“Sorry, just thinking out loud.”
He bobbed his head from side to side. “Rafael Nazim is one of the most charismatic people I’ve ever met. Easy to fall for. But he’s never looked at me or anyone else the way he looks at you.”
A delighted flush crept up my neck. “We got serious pretty fast, but I’m the happiest I’ve ever been.” Even as I said it, the truth dawned. I really was the happiest I’d ever been, despite the challenges. “I have a hard time understanding why he picked me, but I’m glad we found each other.”
“It must be challenging coming into all this as an outsider. The music industry has always been weirdly incestuous.” Mandeep clapped a hand on my shoulder with an encouraging smile.
“Listen, Rafael usually tells me to fuck off if I ask about his love life, but he actually told me about you without any prompting. He even sent me some quotes from your book that he said inspired a song. That man is down bad.”
I was smiling like a lovesick puppy, but I couldn’t help it. “He’s very sweet to me. No one’s ever been so solicitous of my needs.”