Chapter Two #2
‘But what’s stopping the men from going on and reviewing themselves?
Bigging up the size of their cocks, bragging about their bedroom techniques, making false promises about their commitment to monogamy?
’ Zola countered now. ‘And not to mention the law – wouldn’t it leave you open to so much legal action?
I mean, would it not be defamation of character? ’
Katy shook her head. ‘But if it was honest? Just brutally honest feedback?’
‘It would be your word against theirs, babe. You have to be proper careful in this day ’n’ age!’
I sighed – all my dreams of doing a good deed for my fellow Glaswegian women well and truly shat on.
‘But .?.?.’ Zola eventually said. ‘There might be another option .?.?.’
I sat up and turned to Katy, who now looked equally as excited at the re-ignited prospect of revenge.
‘I suppose you could make it a secret club,’ Zola started, gathering her thoughts.
‘I could set up a facial recognition feature or something on the webpage, or get some form of ID clearance that only allows access to women.’ She was thinking out loud now.
‘Yes, we’d set up an admin that only allows verified users to access the site.
Oh, girl , I got it! We could make people pay a subscription for the information; that way, it cuts a lot of the drama out.
No timewasters or women who just want a nosey. ’
‘Yes!’ I agreed, almost bouncing out of my seat.
‘You two would have to date A LOT too. We would have to set up a forum section for the women to share their experiences about the men they’ve dated.
But we would take no part in slandering the men.
We’d encourage everyone to write openly and honestly about their dating stories, just objective facts, no personal opinions. ’
Katy was engrossed, nodding her little head like the Churchill dog.
‘And I suppose we’d have to set clear rules,’ Zola continued, ‘to ensure we weren’t acting like a secret kind of Gossip Girl . We don’t want this to be bitchy, it’s got to go for a more informative vibe.’
‘Rules? Like what?’ Katy asked.
‘We could set membership rules, ones that our subscribers have to fully agree to before we allow them access to the page. They can’t include or hint at the men’s last names, or where they work – none of that type of thing.
And no slandering their physical appearance, that would be far too immature and cruel.
I suppose we’d have to market this page as a way of safeguarding women – it aims to highlight toxic, unsafe men – and can be used as a way of identifying and promoting the good ones. ’
‘Well, it would do all of those things. Think of the situations you’ve been in, Katy!’ I said as a shiver ran down my spine.
‘God, I know. Remember the guy who followed me home, begging me to let him inside?’
‘Yeah, and I also remember we couldn’t report him because you threatened him with an illegal pepper spray you bought off the fucking internet!’ Zola giggled.
I chuckled at the thought of Katy almost getting lifted for possession of a dangerous weapon. ‘Well, it’s just as well she did! Who knows what that creepy cunt would have done?!’
‘To illegal pepper spray!’ Katy raised her half-empty glass in the air, and we followed suit, clinking them together.
‘I know you said no slagging off of physical attributes, but could we mention the size of their cock?’ I asked. ‘I mean, it’s a great thing to know. There’s nothing worse than disappointing dick after slogging your way through a third date!’
‘We could maybe add that to a premium package?’ Zola suggested, easily persuaded to backtrack a little. ‘Package being the operative word, ladies.’
I clasped my hands together, excitement bubbling through me. ‘Jesus, this is the first business plan I’ve felt excited about in a long time!’
‘It sure beats oil portraits!’ Zola winked.
I laughed, agreeing with my friend. ‘No, but I genuinely think this could take off, girls, I honestly do. Imagine we could finally break away from Andrea and her dictatorship.’
Katy giggled. ‘Now that is the dream!’
‘Cheers to that!’ Zola added.
Katy drank then smiled with a knowing look at me. ‘If we do this, you realise it will involve dating again, Ella Banks?’
I felt clammy at the thought. I couldn’t stomach half of the men I’d dated before, and my tolerance for their shabby behaviour since I’d gotten older and listened to my friends’ experiences had seriously taken a dive.
I suppose I’d always had a knack for calling out their bullshit, but still, I hated the dishonesty of dating in general.
The vulnerability of putting myself out there again, especially when my life was good.
I was settled, in the best possible way. I didn’t need a man to fulfil me.
I paused, letting the idea sink in. ‘But it’s not me dating them , is it? I’d be dating the men on behalf of the website. No strings attached. No emotions involved.’
‘Too right.’ Zola laughed loudly. ‘So, girls, are we up for some serious revenge on the fuckboys of Glasgow?’
‘HELL YES!’ I shrieked.
‘I’m in,’ Katy said, then reached over and grabbed a shot of J?ger.
‘Let’s fucking get them!’ Zola cackled.