Chapter Six
Ella
We returned to the office and, between actual work and meetings, I managed to write up a full, in-depth review of my first date with Kevin.
He was everything I hated in a man: utterly full of himself, basic-level flirty, and a fucking sex pest. I added my review to the Dicktionary Club and rated our date a measly one star.
I watched Katy type angrily, slamming the keys as she reviewed her fuck-up of a date with Ali, carefully explaining how his physical appearance wasn’t as his photos would lead you to believe.
‘OK, the first two dates are now officially reviewed! And there are hundreds more to follow before we even get up and running!’ I pushed my chair back, feeling overwhelmed as I finished off my day’s work.
‘Once we launch the website, though, the girls subscribing can upload their own reviews, too,’ Zola added. ‘Before we know it, a chain will happen.’
‘In theory,’ I replied.
‘Come on.’ Zola shoved me. ‘We can do this! Look, if we start something here with enough subscribers, what’s not to say we’ll make enough to leave this shit hole? Start up Dicktionary Clubs all over the place?’
Katy’s face suddenly turned from slapped arse to beaming with possibilities. ‘Oh my!’ She grinned. ‘The Spanish Dicktionary Club?’
‘Le Club Dicktionnaire Francais!’ I gasped, impressing myself with my language skills. ‘Il Club del Dickzionario Italiano!’
‘Jesus Christ, can you imagine? Mamma Mia!’ Zola put on her best Italian accent and we laughed. ‘But the point is, we need to stick in there.’
‘It’s all right for you, Zo; you’re not getting ogled by narcissists on your lunchbreak!’ I countered.
Zola tutted, shaking her head sarcastically. ‘Yeah, God love you, Ella. It’s such hard work being so attractive and getting taken out for nice meals. Fucking hell, girl!’
‘Well, tonight I have a date with Harry.’ Katy smiled. ‘He looks stunning, plays rugby, and I’ve cross-matched his Instagram photos, so I know he looks like his dating pics, at least.’
Zola seemed impressed. ‘This is what I’m talking about, yes! And what about you, Ella?’
I scrunched up my face. ‘Seriously? Two in one day? I’m exhausted.’
‘Get swiping! We need to launch this app at the end of the month at the latest. We are four hundred quid down here and I can’t afford that out of my wage. That gives us like three weeks to get a head start!’
Even Katy giggled at Zola’s head-themed joke this time.
‘Me neither,’ I admitted. ‘Right, fine! I’ll start swiping, but I’ll arrange dates tomorrow night or something. I’ll try my hardest to get a few scheduled for the next week, but I really need to sort a venue for this art exhibition first, or Andrea’s going to fire me and I’ll have zero income.’
‘Yeah, you do,’ Katy agreed. ‘I need to hit the gyms tomorrow, too, to get some feedback and snaps for the Blaze Boost campaign.’
‘I can help with that,’ I offered. ‘If you can help me find a venue for this exhibition?’
Katy smiled. ‘Deal!’
‘And what about me?’ Zola pursed her lips.
‘You can arrange my dates?’ I suggested. ‘I’ll give you my Tinder password.’
Her face lit up in delight.
‘But no munters, please, Zo. I’m begging you!’
‘Would I ever?’ She let out an evil cackle, and I instantly regretted my proposal.