Chapter Thirty-Two
Ella
The following morning, I woke wrapped up in pristine white Egyptian cotton sheets, and immediately realised I wasn’t in my own bed.
Fuck , I thought, lifting the sheets and glimpsing down at my entirely naked body.
My legs felt achy, and my vagina felt as if it had birthed a watermelon overnight.
Why didn’t you go home, Ella? I wondered.
I sat up slowly, glancing around the bedroom for my underwear and dress, seeking the best escape route.
Philip was facing the opposite direction, and I could tell by his breathing that he was still in the midst of a deep sleep.
I had no idea what time it was. Glimmers of sunshine peeked through the edges of the slatted wooden blinds.
Carefully, I bummed my way to the side of the bed, stood up, and tiptoed around the wooden floor, picking up loose clothing that felt like mine in the darkness.
Then I quietly opened the door and headed into the hallway.
I felt sticky, warm and tender from the crazy night we’d had.
What was I thinking? But there was no denying it: the man was a freak in the sheets.
I tiptoed down the staircase into the living room, then sat on his sofa and ran my fingers through my hair, taking a moment to understand what I’d done.
I reached for my handbag to retrieve my phone.
No battery, great! I had no real idea where in Edinburgh I was, though we must be near the centre, or how to satnav my way to the nearest train station. I closed my eyes for a moment to think.
No ApplePay if my phone’s dead. No cash. Fuck.
There was nothing else for it; I would have to ask Philip.
This was no doubt going to be awkward for both of us.
I returned to the bedroom and wandered around the bed.
He lay completely still, and I watched him for a moment – his long eyelashes closed over, his dark chest hair, his muscular body resting peacefully in the bed. He was certainly a handsome guy.
‘Do you mean to stare like a psychopath? Or are you contemplating robbing me?’ His eyes were now open, and he was looking up at me.
Shit.
‘No .?.?. I .?.?. I was going to go home and leave you in peace, but my phone’s died. I don’t suppose you have a charger I could borrow? And I’ll call a taxi or Google Map my way to Waverley?’
Philip rubbed his eyes, sitting up. ‘What .?.?. What time is it?’
‘I have no idea,’ I answered.
He leaned towards his dresser and lifted his watch. ‘It’s only eight o’clock! Get back to bed, woman!’ His hand tugged on my arm, bringing me close to the bed.
‘It’s just .?.?. I don’t want to overstay and .?.?.’
‘Ella?’ His voice was deep and croaky from sleep.
‘Yes?’
‘I would love to stay and cuddle you, but if you want to leave, I will get dressed and take you home.’
I paused.
I didn’t know what he expected. I wasn’t the type of girl to lie in someone’s arms all day – I had the gym to get to and meals to prep.
‘You want to go home, don’t you?’ he asked, correctly interpreting my pause.
‘Yep, yes, I do.’
Philip sighed and stretched his arms wide. ‘OK,’ he said, ‘I’ll just put some clothes on and we can head.’
I watched him stand up. Jesus! His penis was rock solid. I felt my ovaries twinge. Although, I wasn’t sure they were rested enough for another round with him.
‘You’re staring again,’ Philip commented, and I immediately raised my gaze to his face.
‘You’re hard again,’ I retaliated.
Philip glanced down to his knob and slapped it a little, then laughed, pulling a T-shirt from his dresser. ‘I’m always hard when you’re around.’
I tutted slightly, wondering how many times he’d used that line. It rolled out of his mouth so easily.
‘I’ll let you get ready and wait downstairs,’ I said.
I headed back to the living room and sat on Philip’s sofa, glancing around the room without a phone for distraction.
I spotted a handprint on the window and immediately thought back to him licking me out while I was pressed up against it.
My body turned warm at the thought. Jesus Christ, Ella!
What the fuck were you thinking? My eyes darted down to the floor, and I had visions of him pushing inside me for the first time. How good it felt to be whole.
‘I’m ready when you are,’ Philip’s voice called out from the doorway, and I jumped as he startled my dirty flashbacks.
‘Sure, I’m sorted.’ I walked past him, slipped on my shoes and headed out the front.
Philip pressed the fob to the Bentley SUV, which lit up as we approached. He opened my door, and I slid into the passenger side. A few seconds later, he joined me.
‘So, what do you have on for today?’ he asked, still rubbing his eyes, trying to wake himself up.
‘The gym, and I’ll probably go see my friends. We’re working on a project together.’
Philip nodded. ‘Nice!’
‘What about you?’ I asked, glancing out the window, feeling uncomfortable at the formalities when the man had been riding me like the waltzers all night.
‘I don’t have much on. I’ll swing by the bar and see how the rest of the evening went without us.’
For the rest of the drive, Philip chatted while I responded pleasantly from the passenger side, giving more attention to the scenery than the conversation.
I just wanted to go home, get washed and forget about my night of sheer insanity.
After forty minutes on the motorway, we glided back into Glasgow and he pulled up beside my flat. Relief swept over me.
‘Well, thank so much for driving me home,’ I said, unbuckling my seat belt.
‘I had a really great night with you,’ Philip said.
My cheeks blushed, and I smiled awkwardly. ‘Yeah. Thanks.’
‘I don’t suppose you’re free tonight?’ He turned his body around, giving me his full attention.
‘Awk, I’m not. I’m sorry.’ I shrugged. ‘I’ve got a thing on.’ I was looking down at the floor, picking up my handbag.
‘Tomorrow then?’
I hummed. ‘Tomorrow, I think I’ll be catching up with work. I have the exhibition next week.’
Philip let out a small laugh. ‘Ever?’ he interrupted.
I turned, eventually facing him properly and sighed.
‘Look, Philip. Last night was fun. But it was so, so unlike me. I think I was just upset over Joshua, and you were really nice to me, and then one thing led to another. We don’t have to do this.
’ I gestured my hands, pointing between us, knowing we didn’t have to participate in that awkward thing people do when they pretend after a one-night stand that’s it going to happen again.
‘My feelings are not hurt. I will not feel sad and sit around all day, hoping you might text me. I’m not like that. It’s all forgotten about.’
I watched his eyebrows raise in surprise.
‘Honestly.’ I managed a laugh. ‘I know what this was, and I’m OK with it,’ I said. ‘We both had a bit too much to drink, I was emotional and you comforted me. We can leave it there.’
Philip sighed. ‘All right then.’
‘There is no need for any embarrassment or for us to make false promises to one another. I’m good. You’re good. And it’s all .?.?.’
‘Good?’ he interrupted once more.
‘Exactly.’ I placed my hand on the door handle, finally hoping to leave this night behind me.
‘But what if I actually wanted to see you again?’ Philip asked in his deep voice.
I continued looking out of the window.
‘Ella?’
I felt tense. What did he want from me? I thought about Joshua and how invested I got in him, and I couldn’t contemplate that level of hurt again.
Not now. Not ever. ‘It would end either way. Eventually,’ I said quietly.
‘So, we’re as well ending it here, on a high, right?
I honestly had fun.’ I smiled. ‘And thanks for the lift home.’ Then I opened the car door and walked quickly up to my building without looking back.
As I entered my flat, I pressed my back against the door, feeling slightly breathless from bombing it up the stairs.
After a few moments, I took out my phone and headed to my bedroom to pop it on charge.
I paced my bedroom floor, replaying the entire night out in my head.
From Joshua to the wine cellar, to being pressed up against the window. My insides twisted.
My phone lit up, and I dived on the floor beside the plug, immediately messaging the group chat.
Ella: Guys ALERT!!!!
.?.?.
Zola: You OK?
Ella: I bumped into Joshua last night on my ‘date’ with Philip!
Katy: NOOOOOOO!!!!!
Ella: Yes!
Ella: And his pregnant wife!
Zola: STFU.
Katy: Are you OK? WTF! A wife??? WHO IS SHE?
Zola: Do you want us round??
I paused, not knowing what I wanted. My body felt agitated and unnerved, like something was bothering me, but I just couldn’t put my finger on it. I wondered if it was Joshua or the fact that I had stayed with Philip. I felt entirely out of sorts.
Ella: I might pop by Katy’s later. I’m not sure yet. I’m really tired x
Zola: Babe, we got you. We could grab lunch or dinner?
Ella: Guys??
I felt nervous even admitting to my friends the next part of the story, but I wanted everything off my chest.
Ella: I also may have shagged Philip Khan.
Immediately, my phone began ringing. It was a FaceTime with Zola and Katy’s faces squashed on the screen.
I sat on the hardwood floor, still charging my phone while filling them in on my night of debauchery.
I needed comforting, and I knew they were the only people in the world who would hear me out and help settle this horrible feeling I had lurching within me.
The girls seemed shocked yet thrilled at the same time as I divulged.
‘So, it was amazing sex?’ Zola asked, shaking her head.
I gulped. ‘It was. Genuinely the best sex I’ve ever had. Like, I didn’t know sex could feel that good.’
‘But you still told him you didn’t want to see him again?’ Katy asked, looking confused.
‘I just don’t want to complicate my life, you know. Honestly, one night with a man and I am already so agitated and completely out of my routine. I shouldn’t have done it. Really, it was a huge mistake!’