Chapter Thirty-Seven
Ella
It was quarter to seven, and I was in the back of a taxi dressed in a brown floor-length, halterneck dress and applying yet another layer of gloss to my lips.
I’d hoped to catch Philip before he took his seat at the awards show, but Katy insisted on adding false eyelashes to my look, which also added an extra twenty minutes to the getting-ready process.
My entire body shook with nerves. What was I going to say to him?
What if he told me to fuck off? Or got me thrown out?
I thought back to all the horrible things Natasha had read out from my review, and felt my stomach twinge with mortification. Jesus, what the fuck was I doing?
The taxi pulled up outside the Hilton and I strolled into the hotel on trembling legs. The lobby was bustling with guests who all seemed to know one another, and trays of fizz were being passed around in every direction. I guzzled a glass quickly for confidence.
‘Could all remaining guests please make their way to their seats?’ a man called out, and everyone began steering through the massive doors into the theatre-sized hall.
I paused at the entrance, examining the sheer number of people. How the fuck was I supposed to find him in among this?
‘Do you have a ticket, miss? I can escort you to your seat?’ a gentlemanly voice asked me, and I jumped, completely taken by surprise.
‘Er.?.?. No, sorry, I don’t.’
He approached me, reaching for my arm. ‘Well, I’m afraid I will have to ask you to leave. This is a closed function and—’
‘Oh God. No, I’m sorry. I don’t have a ticket because I’m actually .
.?.’ My voice shook, and I cleared my throat, taking a second to lie confidently.
‘I’m the spokesperson for Blaze Boost tonight.
We’re sponsoring the event.’ I dived into my handbag and pulled out my ID badge from Smart Reputations. ‘Look.’
His bearded face instantly morphed into a friendly expression. ‘Ah, excellent! Well, of course you are.’ His eyes squinted at my badge. ‘If you’d like to follow me, please, Ella.’
I toddled behind the gentleman as he stopped and waved at every server we passed. I could feel my chest tighten as my breathing quickened. I wondered if it was because of nerves about my lie or the anxiety of seeing Philip again – what if he’d brought a date? I was panicking.
The man led me through the back and down a corridor. Everything was dark, and I could hear growing chatter from the main space outside. Where the fuck was he taking me? I started to feel twitchy in case he led me to a secret sponsorship room where Andrea would ambush me.
‘Ah, here’s the microphone, miss. We usually look for a quick thirty-second intro on the sponsorship product, then the main hosts will begin,’ the man told me, handing me a mic and pushing me towards a black curtain.
I glanced down at the mic and then back at him. ‘Oh, no! I’m sorry. I didn’t prepare a speech. I just came to watch.’ I passed the mic back.
‘Not at all,’ he said graciously, passing the mic to me again. ‘We couldn’t put on a function like this without the backing of a great sponsor! Let the people here know about your client’s product.’
I screwed up my eyes in disbelief. Why did I have to meet the most decent man alive tonight when I was planning on sneaking in off the fucking radar?
‘You will be fine, hen. Go on, deep breaths. Off the cuff is completely acceptable!’ He winked encouragingly and gave me a slight push towards the curtain’s opening.
I gulped down and nodded.
The curtains opened widely, and I stood on stage facing at least five hundred people, all of whom were dressed to the nines. The lights shone brightly in my face, and the chatter of the hall suddenly died down.
Jesus, what was I doing? I couldn’t do this. I had to get the fuck out of here.
I turned back and saw the kindly man give me a thumbs-up.
OK, you just have to wing it , I thought. I knew the product well enough to pull this off. Then I could figure out where Philip was sitting and approach him at the end of the ceremony.
‘Good evening,’ I said, startling a little as my voice filled the room.
I gazed through the lights, out to the rows upon rows of guests.
‘My name is Ella Banks, and I am here on behalf of tonight’s sponsor, Blaze Boost, the organic energy drink which fuels your workouts.
’ I punched the air in an attempt to look sporty and noticed a few awkward faces and sniggers.
‘Yes. Erm .?.?. Blaze Boost was founded in 2012.’ I stepped to the edge of the stage, trying my best to locate Philip.
Front row, Katy had said, front row . ‘And it quickly became the number one go-to gym product in America because of its natural minerals and .?.?.’
Suddenly, someone stood up and began moving fast, excusing himself along the front. He held his head low, squeezing past guests as he headed to the aisle, trying to exit the event. I gasped as I caught sight of the side of his face: it was Philip.
Shit, shit, shit.
‘Philip!’ I called out in a panic, forgetting how loud my voice had become now that it was mic’d up. ‘Please don’t leave!’
Philip stopped mid-step. It felt like a hundred years passed as he slowly turned around to face me.
The crowd seemed confused, and a nervous chatter started up as they speculated about what was happening.
‘Yes .?.?. Erm .?.?. So, Mr Philip Khan made the headlines this week, as I’m sure you all know. And the thing is .?.?.’
Philip looked furious and began walking once more.
Shit.
‘Well .?.?. it was because of me.’
The chatter in the hall turned to gasps as people became glued to the domestic playing out in front of them. I breathed out a shaky breath, the sound amplified by the microphone.
‘Yes,’ I said. ‘That’s right. I listed all of your supposed red flags on a stupid website I never thought would see the light of day.’
Philip slowed down. I wondered for a split second if I was getting through to him, but as soon as the thought passed, he began thundering down the aisle towards the exit again.
I couldn’t let him leave, not without him getting the chance to hear me out, so I began talking much quicker.
‘You heard your red flags, alleged red flags, at Kelvingrove, but please bear with me because I need the opportunity for you to listen to the green ones as well.’ I cleared my throat, and now my vision was completely fixated on him.
‘You are the kindest person I have ever met. You helped me, a complete stranger, with her career when you really didn’t have to.
You brought me dinner when you knew I wouldn’t have eaten because I was working so late.
You are protective and painfully honest and so, so caring.
Philip, you are mysteriously handsome, playful, funny and you are so kind.
Shit, I know I said that already. But the past few weeks, you have really lit me back up again. ’
He stopped mid-aisle, turning slowly to face me, finally allowing himself to listen to my speech. I stepped off the stage and began walking towards him.
‘You also have this warped sense of humour that is infuriating yet somehow incredibly charming.’ My entire body was shaking, and my eyes began to sting with the effort of holding it all together.
‘Philip,’ I gulped, as I closed the distance between us, finally able to look him in the eyes.
‘You make me feel safe and calm when no one else can.’ Tears trickled down my face as I realised the extent to which I’d hurt him.
As I realised everything I had thrown away.
I continued towards him until he was just a few feet away.
‘And this past month, you have brought so much joy into my life, and I’m truly sorry that I caused you so much pain in return.
I started that stupid website to get revenge on men who’ve hurt women on the dating scene, and I became so fixated that I thought every man out there was fucking awful and selfish and manipulative. ’
A few gasps filled the posh room at my profanity.
‘But then I met you. And you showed me that you’re anything but. Please, please accept my apology.’ My voice cracked at the last sentence as I finally came face to face with him. ‘I’m sorry. I’m so sorry for everything.’
I pushed the microphone into his dumbstruck body then continued bombing it down the aisle.
I had to get out. I had to breathe. The huge hall was filled with people pointing, and I could hear muffled chatter and laughter as they gossiped about me, delighted at the turn of events their stuffy evening had taken.
‘Hello?’ Philip’s deep voice filled the room. ‘I can only apologise for the disruption tonight.’
Every part of me cringed as he tried to sweeten the crowd and his reputation for the second time in a week from another fucking PR disaster I had caused. What had I done? Why did I think that was a good idea? Finally, I reached the back of the room and lurched towards the door.
‘Ella, Ella. Someone hold her at the back, please. Just for one moment.’
Two security men at either side of the door quickly stepped in front of it, arms folded, barring my exit, the hint of a smile on their bullish faces.
‘Excuse me!’ I pushed, but the man mountains didn’t budge.
‘Ella Banks, you are obnoxious.’ Philip’s voice boomed through the room.
I could feel the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. Please, God, tell me this isn’t happening.
‘You are untrusting, and like you said, you think that every man in the world is out to deceive you or your friends.’
I turned round to face the gasps in the room as Philip came closer, slowly approaching me with the mic.
‘You are incredibly uptight, you almost certainly have OCD, you are controlling, and I think we can all agree here tonight,’ he said, glancing around to interact with the guests, ‘you are a tiny bit crazy.’
My jaw was on the floor. He was right. But all the while I was missing him in a deep depression this week, that cunt had clearly been concocting a list of my faults, and now I’d given him the perfect platform to air them.
I glanced around the room at the sea of shocked faces. People had their phones out, videoing the entire spectacle, and some woman at the front was stood up on her chair, keen not to miss any action up the back of the hall.
Philip eventually sighed down the microphone.
‘But.’
I dared to look at him as he continued towards me with a slight smirk.
‘You are intelligent beyond words. Yes, you have been hurt, so you are fiercely protective of yourself and the people you love. You’re also kind, witty and undeniably beautiful. I mean, look at her, ladies and gentlemen.’
A few scattered claps filled the space, and I felt myself blushing.
What was he doing?
‘You, Ella, are sensitive and loving. But above all else, you deserve to be loved.’
I felt a tear wander down my face as he finally reached me.
‘Look, I could stand here all fucking day if they’d let me and list your so-called green flags to the world, but the truth is, this week has been exceptionally hard, and not because of what happened or what was printed in the press. But because you weren’t with me. I am lost without you, Pilates.’
I felt a laugh fall out of my mouth, completely in shock. I plunged towards Philip, wrapping my arms around him in the biggest display of affection I could have ever managed. Philip swept me up off the ground, kissing me again and again. Around us, the room filled with applause and cheering.
A few moments later, I felt a tap on my shoulder, and my gentlemanly friend stood holding out his hand for the mic. ‘I know I said off the cuff, hen, but that was seriously taking the biscuit.’
I smiled. ‘I’m so sorry!’
‘C’mon.’ Philip held out his hand and pulled me towards the foyer. ‘Fuck, I’ve missed you.’ He kissed me once more.
‘I’ve missed you more.’ I couldn’t believe the words were leaving my mouth. ‘And I promise you, the Dicktionary Club is coming down. It has caused so many problems, and I’m so sorry you were dragged into it.’
He smiled, relieved. ‘I’m just happy to see you, Ella.’ Philip laughed. ‘Is it strange that I still want to call you Pilates, though?’
I smirked. ‘You know you can still call me whatever you want.’
Philip’s dark eyes locked on mine, and he picked me up again, holding me close.
‘Anything?’ he asked.
‘Well .?.?. maybe not obnoxious, uptight or controlling again. Yeah, that wasn’t fun!’ I giggled, still sweating and shaking.
‘Deal!’ he said, and we both burst out laughing as, and in hand, we headed back out onto the streets of Glasgow.