CHAPTER SIXTEEN | London
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
London
Ten years earlier...
“Why are you looking at me like that?” I turn my head to find Penn watching me so intensely that the sun blaring down on my skin suddenly feels too warm.
“Like what?” A small grin forms on his lips.
“Like you want to eat me?”
“Maybe because I do.” His smile widens as he rolls, arms going to either side of my head while his legs straddle my middle.
Desire pools in my stomach, as exciting as it is frightening.
Penn and I have been dating over a year now and while a part of me is more than ready to take that next step in our relationship, the other part of me is still not sure. That is, until he looks at me, kisses me, touches me, basically anytime he’s in the same vicinity as me.
Today has been an incredible day—the best day. One of those days that you want to press record on so that you can go back to replay it over and over again whenever you want.
Penn picked me up early this morning. We’ve spent basically the entire day lounging on the beach, swimming in the ocean, laughing and talking.
I haven’t checked the time recently, but based on the position of the sun, I’d say we’re nearing dinnertime and yet, I have no desire to leave, to be anywhere else than exactly right here, with him.
His lips find mine, hungrier than usual, like he can’t get enough of me, and trust me, I know the feeling because that’s exactly how I feel about him—ravenous.
“You know...” He nips at my bottom lip. “My parents have dinner plans tonight. You could come back to the house if you want.”
“Oh yeah?” I smile up at him. “And what will you do with me once you have me all alone?”
“That depends.”
“On?”
“On what you want me to do with you.” He grins mischievously before his mouth is on mine once more.
He kisses me slowly and deeply, lighting every pore in my body on fire, the heat so overwhelming I have to swallow down the urge to beg him to take me right here and now.
I trail my tongue along his lip piercing, dang near melting right into the sand when he lets out a low groan of approval.
That’s it, that seems to be my undoing. Wrapping my arms around his neck, I kiss him more urgently.
“Is that a yes?” He breaks the kiss after a few long moments, allowing both of us to catch our breath.
“Yes,” I say, meeting his heated gaze.
“Yes?” He cocks his head.
“Yes,” I confirm, knowing he knows what I’m saying.
I don’t think Penn Kade has ever moved so fast in his life as he does in that moment. Standing, he leans down, tugging me off the ground. Within seconds, he has our towels and bag slung over his shoulder as he urges me up the beach toward his truck.
The drive to his house is the most intense car ride of my life. My hands are shaking. My heart feels like it’s beating a new cavity in my chest, and I can’t tell if the churning in my stomach is from nerves or excitement, though I’d venture to say both.
The house is dark when we arrive, Penn’s parents already gone for the evening and his brothers are down the street at his grandparents’ house.
He notices the slight shake to my hand when he helps me from the truck, his expression softening.
“You know we don’t have to do anything you’re not ready for, right?”
“I know.” I give him a reassuring smile because despite how incredibly nervous I feel, I know deep in my soul that this is what I want. Him, right here and now. All of him.
“Come on.” He tugs me toward the house.
Entering through the front door, Penn kicks it shut the moment we’re inside and pins me to the cool wood as he kisses me, hands roaming over my torso in a way that makes me feel like I might literally vibrate out of my own skin.
“Take me to your room.” I pant against his mouth.
Without a word, he lifts me, my legs going around his waist as he turns and carries me up the stairs, taking two at a time as if I weigh no more than a child.
The reality of the situation doesn’t fully take hold until he’s lowering me onto his bed. Until the weight of him settles on top of me. Until I feel the hardness of him pressed into my lower belly.
It’s impossible to comprehend, to wrap my head around the fact that Penn peeled off my bathing suit cover. That he popped open the front clasp of my top, revealing my bare chest. That he dips his head and sucks one of my nipples into his mouth.
I arch my back, crying out at the overload of sensation that floods my body.
“Are you—” He lifts his head, starting to ask if I’m okay.
“Don’t stop.” I cut him off before he can finish the question.
“Oh, don’t worry, I have no intention of stopping.” He grins, his mouth moving to my other nipple.
He kisses, sucks, and bites his way across nearly every inch of my body, and I swear, when he finally settles between my thighs, I feel seconds away from bursting at the seams.
Every fiber in my body feels stretched and taxed and that feeling only increases when his thickness nudges at my entrance.
“I love you,” he breathes against my lips, and with all the gentleness he can muster, enters me fully.
“LONDON!” MY EYES SHOOT open at the sound of my mom’s voice.
It takes several long moments for my sleep-riddled brain to clear and reality to sink back in.
Letting out a deep groan, I push myself up onto my elbows just as my mother enters the room.
“It’s Sunday, Mom.” I flop back down on the pillow, throwing an arm over my eyes when she tears open the curtain, the sun pouring into the room.
“Exactly. It’s Sunday. Which means you need to get ready for church.”
“Church?” I lift my head to give her a bewildered look.
“I asked you if you would come today, remember? Amber and Todd are doing their baby dedication ceremony.”
“That’s today?” I scrub my hands down my face, pretty certain that she told me it was next Sunday.
“Yes, it’s today. And if you don’t get up and get ready, we’re going to miss it.” She pats my shin. “Up. Up. Let’s go.” She starts to back out of the room. “And make sure you dress appropriately. No...”
“No pants. Yes, Mother. I remember,” I say, as if I could forget how traditional she is when it comes to church. I was raised to wear my Sunday best even though most of my friends would show up in jeans and T-shirts every week. Used to make me so mad when I was younger.
I blow out a loud sigh when she disappears from the room, closing the door behind her.
Throwing back the covers, I groggily climb out of bed.
After sorting through my wardrobe for less than a minute, I pull out a soft blue dress that hangs below my knees—anything shorter and my mom would force me to change—and a white cardigan to wear over it, because if Wren Cove Baptist is anything like I remember, they keep the temperature comparable to an ice box during the warmer months.
Taking the fastest shower maybe of my life, in which I opt not to wash my hair because I wouldn’t have time to dry it, I dress quickly and then proceed to brush my teeth and throw on a little mascara before tying my hair into a loose French braid.
Less than twenty minutes after my mom woke me, I’m downstairs in the foyer, slipping on my sandals just as my parents emerge from the kitchen.
“Good enough?” I ask my mom, holding my arms out.
“You’re perfect,” my father answers, giving me a toothy smile.
The ride to church feels like I’ve just travelled back in time. I can’t remember the last time I sat in the back seat of my parents’ car, but it makes me feel weirdly young. Like I’m a kid all over again, in the back seat, on my way to church like I did so many Sundays growing up.
I try not to think about Penn on the way over, but with everything last night and then the dream... I find it pretty impossible to think of anything else.
I used to know exactly what Penn was thinking, what he was feeling. Now, I can’t pretend to understand anything about him.
Like the dance studio suggestion; what the heck was that? Was he seriously trying to help me or just trying to ease his guilt because when his bookkeeper comes back, I’ll be out of a job?
And the way he touched my hand in his truck...
“You okay, hon?” my dad asks, meeting my gaze in the rearview mirror.
“Yeah, why?” I plaster on a smile.
“You’re back there sighing and muttering to yourself.” I can’t see his mouth, but I know he’s grinning when his eyes meet mine a second time.
“Yeah, just got a lot on my mind. Sorry, didn’t realize I was doing that.”
“Anything you want to discuss?”
“No.” I shake my head. “Actually, yes.” I change my mind, deciding that my parents are the exact people I should ask about this because I trust them to be honest and not just tell me what I want to hear. “What would you think about the possibility of me opening a dance studio in Wren Cove?”
“A dance studio?” My mother turns her head to look at me.
“Yeah. Like I could rent out a space in town. Open a studio. Teach dance lessons maybe.”
“I think that’s a fantastic idea.” A smile lights up her face. “I hadn’t even considered something like that.”
“It was actually Penn’s idea,” I admit, wishing I had been the one to come up with it.
“Really?” My mom’s smile widens further. “I didn’t realize you two were talking again.”
“I work for him, Mom,” I needlessly remind her.
“I know. Of course I know that. I just meant... last time we spoke, things weren’t going so well between the two of you.”
“We’ve decided to try and be friends,” I say, the statement almost bitter on my tongue, though I wouldn’t have any idea why.
Lies.
After the dream last night... The memory... My mind and body are at odds today.
“Well, I think that is very good news,” my father chimes in.
“So the dance studio; you don’t think it’s a stupid idea?”
“Not even a little. I think you could find real joy in teaching others something you yourself have loved so much over the years.” My mom reaches into the back seat to pat my leg in that reassuring way of hers.
“But how would I even do that?”