CHAPTER SIXTEEN | London #2
“I could put in a few phone calls. Lillian owns a few buildings. Maybe she has a space available. If not, I’m sure your father could speak to Jack Arlington. He owns a few as well. Or there’s always Franny and Alan.”
“But what about money? The start-up costs. The cost of rent and supplies. It’s not like I’m exactly rolling in the dough.”
“That’s what a small business loan is for.”
“Not sure I have the credit for that,” I admit, trying to hide my embarrassment over the fact that I ran up more than a few credit cards in my attempt to keep my head above water in New York. Pretty sure I’ll be paying those bad boys off for many years to come.
“We’ll co-sign,” my mom offers. “Besides, you know one of my closest friends runs the national bank on Front Street. I’m sure she can help us out.”
“I’d hate to put Jules out like that.”
“Nonsense. You’re like a second daughter to Jules. She’d be so happy to help.”
“So you really think this is plausible?” I say, honestly a little surprised by not only how supportive they’re being but also by how simple they make it all sound.
“It’ll be a lot of hard work, to be sure, but absolutely, I think it’s possible. More than possible. I think you could really turn this into something you can be proud of. You say the word and I’ll start making phone calls.”
“Let’s hold off for now. Let me do a little more research and stuff,” I say, not wanting to get too far ahead of myself too quickly.
“Okay. You just say when.” Another pat and she turns to face forward again.
Could it really be possible?
Opening a dance studio...
Teaching other kids like me...
Making a life for myself here in Wren Cove...
Oddly enough, that seems like the hardest feat of all—standing still. Planting roots in the one place I couldn’t wait to get out of. And yet, I don’t get that sick feeling inside when I think about it like I used to.
In fact, I feel almost excited.
But that’s not all it is.
For the first time in a very long time, I feel hopeful.
And I think that scares me more than anything else in the whole world. Because I know first-hand what it feels like to have hope and then to not have any at all, and I never want to feel that way again.
We pull into the church parking lot just a couple short minutes later, and I try to push all things business and Penn Kade related to the back of my mind, determined to be present for Franny and Alan and their beautiful baby boy. The two have been like family since I was little.
Then again, that’s true about a lot of people in Wren Cove. Everyone is like family here. Something I definitely took for granted over the years.
Maybe it’s time that I stop dwelling on what I lost and start looking ahead at what can still be gained. I’m still young. I have a lot of life left ahead of me, God willing, and I don’t want to look back one day and realize I wasted it all by wallowing in my own pain and bitterness.
With that thought at the forefront of my mind, I follow my parents into church and lo and behold, who is the first person I see?
Penn Alexander Kade.
Message received, God, I think to myself. Message received.
“Randy. Lori.” He tips his head before his incredible hazel eyes find me. “London.”
“Penn.” I return the gesture.
“If you’ll excuse us, we’re going to go see little Jeffery before the service starts,” my mom says, giving me a subtle wink as she and my father quickly excuse themselves.
“I didn’t know you’d be here today,” Penn says once they’re gone.
“I didn’t know you’d be here either,” I reply. “What happened to the church catching on fire if you ever stepped foot through those doors?” I gesture behind me.
“A lot of things have changed.” He rocks back on his heels.
“I can see that.” I give him a slow once-over, taking the time to really appreciate the man he’s grown into.
“Shall we find a seat?”
“We?” I arch a brow.
“My mom decided not to come today, and since Walker and Alec wouldn’t be caught dead in church, I’m riding solo. You’d be really helping me out.” He grins.
My mind flashes back to the dream I woke from just an hour ago, the one where he was on top of me, moving inside of me, and my skin instantly warms.
“You okay?” he asks, giving me a curious look, like he can read my thoughts and know exactly what I’m thinking about right at this very moment.
“Great.” I force a smile. “Let’s find a seat.”
“Let’s,” he agrees, following me down the aisle.
We find an empty row in the middle and quickly take our seats, my parents joining us less than a minute later.
Service is beautiful and while I’m more than a little distracted by the man sitting to my right, I’m also able to appreciate just how much I needed to hear the message today. The sermon is about new beginnings, almost as if it were written just for me, even though obviously I know it wasn’t.
It still sparks something in me. Something I’ve known I needed to do for a while now but have been too afraid to do. To let go. To let go of what I lost. To let go of the life I once thought I would have and to start living the life that’s in front of me.
It feels more possible now than ever before and I’m determined to seize my newfound determination and write a new story, or rather to alter the ending of the one I started many years ago.
I glance to the right, my eyes locking with Penn’s as if he had been staring at me this whole time. And then I feel it, his fingers gently brush the back of my hand, so soft it feels more like a whisper on my skin than an actual touch. My heart stammers at the contact.
It takes me longer than it should to realize he’s asking a question, one that I answer by taking his hand in my own. Instead of pulling away, he intertwines our fingers. And that stammer I just spoke of turns into a full-speed gallop.