CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE | Penn
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
Penn
“LV,” I call as soon as I push my way inside the front door of my house. I left work a little earlier than normal. If we’re being completely honest, I wasn’t all that productive while I was there, my mind otherwise occupied with the gorgeous woman I knew was at home in my bed.
A woman who is not actually in my bed.
I look around the empty room, the house oddly quiet.
“London?” I holler again, walking into the bathroom to discover she’s not in there either.
I do a quick sweep of the rest of the house.
No London.
Where the hell did she go?
Pulling my cell phone out of my pocket, I realize I’ve missed a text from her.
London: Had Jos pick me up. Needed to get home.
I quickly text her back.
Me: I wish you had waited for me.
It shows read almost instantly, as if she were actively waiting for my response.
London: Have you spoken to Cat?
Why the hell would I speak to Cat? I think to myself.
Me: No. Why?
Again, her response is almost instant.
London: You should. Then we can talk.
My confusion grows.
Me: Why would I need to talk to her and why can’t we talk now?
London: I’m sorry. I need a little time. Talk to Cat. She’ll explain.
Scratching my head, both literally and figuratively, I exit out of our text thread and pull up Cat’s number, then send her a quick text.
Me: What’s going on and why is London telling me I need to speak to you?
Nothing.
I wait five minutes and then text again, the message saying almost the exact same thing.
I try calling London, but she doesn’t answer.
I call Cat and she answers on the first ring.
“Why aren’t you texting me back?” I fire off without so much as a hello, my confusion growing to an anxious knot in my stomach that feels like it’s eating my insides.
“Sorry, I didn’t realize you texted me.”
“Why is London saying I need to speak with you?”
“We do need to talk, but I don’t want to do it over the phone. Are you home?”
“I am.”
“Give me ten minutes.”
I end the call without a response.
What the hell could she need to talk to me about? Why is London somehow involved? And why is no one telling me anything?
Ten minutes feels like ten hours as I wait on my front porch for Cat to arrive. When her little red car finally pulls into my driveway, I feel ready to implode.
“What the hell is this about? What’s going on?” I ask before she even reaches the porch.
“London didn’t tell you?” she says, though she already knows this based on our phone conversation ten minutes ago.
“Tell me what?”
“Penn, I...” She closes the remaining distance between us. “I’m pregnant.”
I swear the earth tips sideways, damn near taking me with it.
“Did you hear me?” Her voice feels distant, almost as if she’s speaking through a tunnel instead of standing right in front of me. “Penn.” She snaps her fingers in my face.
“You’re...” I can’t say the words. Hell, I can’t even begin to entertain that this is actually happening.
“Pregnant. Yes.” She smiles like she couldn’t be happier. Meanwhile, I’m over here, trying not to have a complete meltdown.
“How?” It’s the only word I can form.
“Well, how are all babies created?” She giggles. Actually giggles.
“But we...”
“Used protection, I know. But nothing is one hundred percent.”
“You said you were also on birth control.”
“I was in the beginning. But it made me sick, so I stopped taking it.”
“And you didn’t think that was something you should have shared with me?” My temper flares.
“We used condoms. I didn’t think it would make a difference.” She seems taken aback by my reaction, though I can’t imagine why.
Did she think I’d be happy about this? That I’m going to have a child with someone I don’t even like?
And then there’s London to consider.
London...
My mind spins.
She knows.
She knows that Cat’s pregnant. That’s why she had Josie pick her up. But how?
“You told London.” It’s not a question.
“I stopped by earlier to speak with you and she answered the door.”
“You knew I was at work.” I shake my head, not buying that excuse for one second.
“I thought I’d take a chance and see if you were home.”
“Why would you do that?”
“I was anxious to speak to you.”
“If you were anxious to speak to me, you would have come to the docks. You came here for her.”
“So what if I did? She has a right to know.”
“Before you even told me!” I don’t try to hide the fact that I’m angry. I’m more than angry.
“Why does it matter who I told first? Everyone was going to find out anyway.”
“Why are you doing this?”
“Doing what? It’s not like I planned to get pregnant.”
“You stopped taking birth control and didn’t tell me. Sounds like that’s exactly what you were trying to do.”
“Would you listen to yourself? I’m not so obsessed with you that I’d try to trap you with a baby.”
Oddly, I think that’s exactly what she’s trying to do.
A baby.
I can’t even think about it right now.
Can’t wrap my head around the fact that I’m going to be a father... A father. Me. And the mother is Cat Stewart.
“I think I’m going to be sick.” I cover my mouth with my hand when my stomach violently lurches.
“I knew you’d be surprised. I mean, I was pretty shocked myself. But this... I thought you’d be—”
“You thought I’d be what? Happy?”
“You’re going to have a child.”
“With a woman I don’t love.”
She doesn’t try to hide the hurt my words inflict; it’s written all over her face.
“But you could.”
“I could what?”
“Love me. We could be happy. We could be a family. The three of us. A perfect little trio.”
“If you are, in fact, pregnant—and make no mistake, I will not take you at your word—a paternity test will be the first thing we do. If I am the father, then I will be in the child’s life always, but I will not be in a loveless relationship to do it.”
“You’d have our baby raised in a broken home?”
“It’s not a broken home. We were never actually together. This was casual. I made that very clear.”
“But after you said you loved me, I thought—”
“I wasn’t saying it to you.”
“Then who were you saying it to?” She balks, not waiting for me to answer because she already knows. “London.”
“I was drunk. I was picturing you were her and it just slipped out. That’s why I ended things right after. I knew it wasn’t fair to you.”
“You’re right, it wasn’t fair. None of this is fair. I’ve done everything. Given you everything. Tried to be someone you could love.”
“You shouldn’t have to try to make someone love you. They just do or they don’t. And I don’t love you, Cat. A child is not going to change that.”
“Not if you won’t try.” Her eyes fill with unshed tears.
“I don’t want to try, Cat. I just want her.”
“More than you want your own child.”
“The two are not mutually exclusive.”
“Yes, they are. Because she will not raise my child. So either you’re in this with me, or you’re out.”
“You don’t have the power to cut me out of my own child’s life simply because you’re mad that I don’t want to be with you.”
“Watch me.” She threatens, squaring her shoulders.
“I’ll watch you fail when I take you to court and file for full custody because we both know you’ll be a shit mother.” It’s true, but I still feel a little bad for saying so.
“She isn’t right for you. She never was. She didn’t want you, Penn. She threw you away like garbage. Is that what I have to do for you to love me? Treat you like trash? Spit on everything we had together? Choose everything and everyone but you?”
“You don’t know what you’re talking about.” I grit my teeth.
“I do. And you’re living in denial if you think she’s not going to up and leave as soon as something better comes along. She’s only here because she has to be. She’ll tire of you just like she did last time.”
“Careful.” My nostrils flare; my patience long since run out.
“She will not be a part of my child’s life. I can’t trust her.”
“Not your call. You’re not the only parent.”
“You really think she’s going to want you anyway? You think she’s going to want to watch you raise a child with another woman?” She lets out a condescending laugh. “Oh, Penn. How delusional you are. Where is she anyway? Not here? Wonder why.”
“Paternity test. I want one done as soon as medically possible. Until then, that is not my child. If you’re even pregnant at all,” I tack on because I wouldn’t put it past her to make something like this up.
“How dare you imply I would make this up or that I would lie and say you’re the father if you weren’t?”
“Perhaps you should take a long, hard look in the mirror, Cat, because that absolutely sounds like something you would be capable of.”
“You’ll have your paternity test. And when it comes back and shows you are the father, you end things with London, or you will never see me or this child again. You can only take me to court if you can find me.”
“You won’t leave.” I call her on her bluff.
“And what makes you so sure?”
“Because your obsession with me would never allow it. Now get the hell off my property. I don’t want to see you again until we know the paternity. And stay the hell away from London.”
“It’s a small town. We’re bound to run into each other.” She smirks like she’s really told me.
“Then turn around and walk the other way. You are not to speak to her again. About this or anything else.”
“That’s the great thing about a free country, Penn.” She flips her long hair over her shoulder and saunters off toward her car. “You can’t stop me.”
I watch her drive away moments later, the knot in my stomach opening up into a dark, endless pit that threatens to swallow me whole.
What. The. Hell. Am. I. Going. To. Do. Now?