Chapter Sixty-Three
‘You get it now?’ the other Bethany asks.
Maybe. ‘But …’
‘Hang on, I’m going to conference in the rest of us.’
‘Conference in?’
‘The Tylers made some tweaks. Well, schoolteacher Tyler did. He’s the cleverest of them all.
’ She sounds almost pained by this, and then I realize it’s just jealousy, our standard reaction to Tyler besting us.
Listening to this other version of myself, so similar in so many ways, is starting to make my head spin.
‘Hi.’
‘Hi.’
‘Hi.’
‘Hi.’
Each of the new Bethanys joining sound the same, but also not the same, though in ways so subtle I couldn’t explain it. ‘Hi,’ I reply.
‘Well, I guess there’s no real need to do introductions,’ Bullet-Journal Bethany says. I have no idea how I know it’s her, but I do. ‘Bethanys, this is Bethany.’
‘Hi, Bethany,’ a new voice pipes up. ‘I’m the one from the world where Cesca was getting married.’
‘Did they make it?’ I ask.
‘Of course. They are so much in love it’s disgusting.’ She sounds thrilled, in one hundred per cent approval of the match. ‘Even if the wedding was the worst. Those dresses. Eugh.’
‘I met a Tyler in another world who said Helen had dreamt of that wedding since she was a tiny kid.’
‘Yeah. That’s what I mean about them being so in love. Cesca gave her free rein on everything because she knew it was so important to her future wife.’
‘I thought Helen was just being a bridezilla,’ I reply, feeling more than a bit guilty about how quickly I handed down that judgement.
‘Oh for real. She was that too.’
‘Hi, Bethany,’ another voice starts. ‘I’m the one who’s friends with Flick.’
‘Now that was a shock,’ I tell her.
‘Yeah. We, as in the other Bethanys and I, figured I was the only one who went to that reunion and so reconnected with her.’
‘She’s actually cooler than I remember from school.’
‘She is. She’s awesome.’
‘I looked her up, in my world,’ pipes up yet another voice. ‘We’ve messaged a couple of times, might meet up in a few weeks.’
‘I haven’t looked her up here. Maybe I should?’ I reply.
‘But you’re going home,’ Bullet-Journal Bethany says. Something tells me she’s the leader of this troupe of Bethanys, like the bullet journal has given her superpowers and the others defer to her.
‘Well …’
‘No well …’ She mimics me in a way that isn’t wholly flattering.
‘But—’ I try again, but I’m interrupted by the Bethany from the world where Cesca married Helen.
‘Are you looking for an excuse? A reason not to go back to your own world?’ she asks.
‘No. Of course not.’ That would be ridiculous.
‘It’s only natural to be scared,’ she adds gently.
‘I’m not scared.’ But I’m far too defensive. ‘What if she’s ruined it?’ I whisper.
‘How do you mean?’
‘So the Bethany from this world is there in mine. What if she’s done something to my universe?’
There’s a gap, like no one knows what to say. It’s very rare we’re lost for words.
But then Flick’s Bethany pipes up. ‘Tell us about your world.’
I pause for a moment. What is it about my world that sets it apart from the others, beyond it being mine and therefore – in my opinion at least – the original universe.
‘I live in the flat in Clapham, that seems to be pretty much a constant, although my flat is full of pretty special-edition books. You know the ones with the gorgeous sprayed edges and gilt covers and stuff.’
‘Ooh, I love those,’ one of the other Bethanys says with a wistful tone. ‘I could get into that.’
‘I have some,’ another Bethany chimes in. ‘Well, they’re manga, but—’
‘Oh, you’re Manga Bethany,’ I exclaim. ‘I had a lovely few days reading some of your collection.’
I can almost sense her blushing. I continue. ‘And I work at Imagine, but then I think we all do. The day before I first skipped I was offered an opportunity to write a book with Tyler, but I still thought he was a dick so I wasn’t very happy about it.’
‘Same.’
‘Same.’
‘I wrote it and he was still being a dick while we worked. I’m so glad you figured out he was actually all right and patched up the relationship,’ another one says, sounding almost giddy in a way we aren’t normally prone to being.
‘Oh my God, do you fancy him?’ one of the other Bethanys asks.
‘No.’ But it’s a lie and we all know it.
I sneak a glance at this world’s Tyler, sitting so close to me our knees are almost touching.
I allow myself to smile at the idea that at least in one of the other worlds, that Bethany and that Tyler might get their happy ever after.
Is that something I can hope for? Seeing the look on my face, this Tyler winks at me.
‘But there’s one thing I noticed, as I travelled through your worlds.
’ My tone shifts and suddenly I’m serious, using what Alesha used to call my ‘proper scientist’ voice – the one I generally only felt the need to employ when some douchebag dude was belittling my achievements and needed to be taken down a peg or two.
‘It got worse, the further back the divergence point went. And look, I don’t want to tell you how to live your lives, and some of you really did seem to have your shit together in a way I don’t.
But …’ I trail off and pause for a moment, making sure the words I pick have the maximum impact.
This is important. Really important. ‘You all need to find a way to get Cesca back in your lives. We need her. She’s everything to us and you all need to fight for her. ’
I can sense them waiting to interject but I don’t give them the opportunity.
‘Even if she’s being belligerent, or holding a grudge, or is dating a woman you don’t really like.
None of that matters. So you all need to put whatever shit there is to one side and make up with her.
Today.’ Oh. Oooh. I have a moment of blazing clarity.
I’ve always been so protective of Cesca, she’s my baby sister, my responsibility.
But perhaps I’ve smothered her, dabbled in her life too much, pushed her away by always thinking I know what’s right for her.
‘Just, all of you, find her and say you’re sorry and then promise you’ll stop meddling or having stupid opinions about her life. Please?’
‘If we do that, do you promise you’ll do it? Do you promise you’ll go home to your Cesca?’
I can’t help but laugh softly. That is such a me thing to do. ‘Yes, I promise.’
‘Yay!’ There’s a collective celebration amongst the others.
‘I knew we’d wear you down eventually,’ Bullet-Journal Bethany says.
Oh my God, I’m actually going home.
‘You need to make a communicator the second you get back,’ Manga Bethany tells me. ‘So you can tell us everything, okay?’
‘Okay.’
‘Every evening, at nine p.m., we’ll all connect. That way we won’t miss you.’
‘Sounds like a plan,’ I tell them. ‘And thank you.’
‘Pfft, you’d do the same for us,’ Flick’s Bethany says.
‘See you on the other side,’ Cesca’s Wedding Bethany says.
‘Laters, dickheads,’ Bullet-Journal Bethany adds and with a fit of giggles I can sense the other Bethanys disconnecting.
I take my finger off the fingerprint scanner and turn to face Tyler.
‘Soooo …?’
‘They all think I should do it.’
‘You should,’ he says.
‘Of course you should,’ Amina adds.
I look between them, both so adamant this is the right thing. ‘Okay then. When do we do this?’