Rowan
“Iswear to all the gods above, if you don’t let me do something, I’m going to lose my mind.” Ma sighed while I changed her bandage, and I fought back a grin.
She had returned to her own room at least. Her space was just as I’d imagined it, a mixture of homemade quilts, recipe books, and an armchair that looked almost too comfortable to resist.
“Do you think for one moment that if I let you get back to work, you’ll actually listen to me and not use your hand?” I asked pointedly.
“I have helpers.” Ma pouted. “I’ve heard Allison is doing amazingly.”
“She is, but she’s not as good as you.” Nina smiled as she organized the bandages. She had come with me to check on Ma and ensure she was settled in her room.
“Well.” Ma smiled, waving off the compliment. “She’s got a newborn baby. I certainly couldn’t do as much as she has been.”
I grimaced. “I think she feels guilty about her father.”
Ma’s eyes widened. “That is a load of crap! She’s family!”
Nina folded her arms. “I agree. Byron can go sit on a cactus—he’s disgusting.”
“I hate that he’s involved in this,” I said as Ma chuckled at Nina’s colorful description.
“Speaking of prickly little shits, how are my boys doing?” she asked, turning to look at me. “How are they really doing?”
I sighed. “As well as can be expected. Bastian wants to call in reinforcements. Loads of them. He doesn’t care about looking weak. He just wants to keep the horde safe. I think the others agree with him.”
“That’s good. We need all the help we can get…” Ma trailed off, looking into the distance.
“Thank God they’re not trying to be all macho and saying they can deal with this on their own. That’s how a lot of hordes get into bad situations in the first place,” I pointed out.
“Yeah, there’s been many a horde that’s been obliterated because of their foolish pride. But luckily, we have something those hordes didn’t have.” Ma smiled.
I cocked my head. “What?”
“You, honey.” She squeezed my hand, Nina grinned at me, and my cheeks heated.
Still, after a moment, Ma’s expression changed, and she looked at her injury, softly asking, “What color will the burns end up?”
I paused for a moment. It would be better to show her than to tell her. I was wearing one of the guys’ hoodies over a sports bra, so I grabbed the hem of it and pulled it over my head, exposing my stomach and upper chest.
Ma’s eyes went wide, her hands shooting up to her mouth.
“If I’ve done my job well enough, hopefully all the skin will be pale, with this holographic sheen eventually.
It took me a long time to get here. For the first year, the scarring was red and angry, and black in places.
” I ran my hand over the left side of my stomach.
“The skin will never be the same, especially here where I took the hits. There’s always going to be texture, and there are mornings when it’s slightly sore.
This is also significantly darker than the rest of my scars. ”
It was more of a dull gray instead of the pale cream that a lot of my scarring had faded to.
Ma held my stare. “It’s been so painful… and what you went through. How long did it take?”
I grimaced, the memories running through my head like a bad movie. “It was several months before I was lucid. There were days I prayed to die so I could feel some relief. Kiki dragged me back, though, no matter how many times I didn’t think it was worth it.”
Ma was quiet for a moment.
“Rowan?”
“Yes?” I turned away from the bandage to look at her, pausing when I noticed her tears. “Crap, is this too tight? I can—”
“No, it’s not that at all.” She wiped away the tears with her good hand. “Nina, my dear, can you give us a moment?”
Nina nodded, and despite looking concerned, she left the room.
Alone in the quiet of her room, Ma stared at me, taking my hand and squeezing it hard, hers trembling. I could feel my heart beating as I waited, less than patient.
“I owe you an apology, Rowan.”
I shook my head. “Why? You’ve done nothing wrong.”
“I was a coward. Twenty-five years ago.”
“What does twenty-five years ago have to do with now?” I asked shakily.
“I’ve never told anyone. Orsen… I wanted to protect him. I never told him who his father was.”
Tension hung, poised on the edge of a knife. “Who?”
“His name was Edmond. He was… Cyrus’s older brother.”
“Wait”—I shook myself, my mind reeling—“he has an older brother? Where is he?” If he had an elder brother, why the hell had Cyrus been the Alpha of North Oak?
“Edmond died when we were teenagers—the official story was that it was due to an attack by a rogue.”
I ducked my chin, the pain written all over Ma’s face. “But that’s not what happened?”
Ma shook her head. “I was nineteen the first time I felt the mate bond with Edmond. It was electric. He’d been away at college, a few years older than me, and the future Alpha.
I thought I was the luckiest girl in the world.
We knew the moment we told everyone that things would change, however.
So, we decided to take a few weeks and get to know one another.
Edmond wanted to make sure I knew what I was getting into.
Well, one thing led to another, and I learned I was pregnant.
We met by our favorite waterfall one evening, and I told him.
He was so excited. We knew, with a baby involved, we’d have to tell the horde, and we were looking forward to it. But…”
I could barely breathe, barely move as Ma’s expression dropped, her eyes pinned to the bed where her fingers tangled together nervously.
“We were getting up to leave when Cyrus entered the clearing, and Edmond shoved me out of the way. Cyrus didn’t even know I was there. What I witnessed…”
I reached out, grabbing Ma’s good hand as my eyes stung.
“He killed my mate,” she said in a broken voice. “He wanted to be Alpha, and he knew that if Edmond died, he was next in line. I watched that bastard slaughter the man who meant everything to me, and I never said a word. I’ve lived so long with that regret, and now that Cyrus has… done all this…”
“Why didn’t you tell anyone?”
“Because of Orsen. Cyrus is a cruel, particularly evil bastard. I had no way of knowing if his bloodlust would care that Orsen was an innocent child.”
“Oh God,” I muttered, realization dawning on me. If Orsen was the son of the Alpha who was killed, then technically, he was the next rightful heir—not Cyrus. I had no doubt that the bastard would happily kill a child to keep his position.
Or the man he’d grown up to be.
“I told my family it was a one-night stand while we were traveling, and that it was a surprise blessing. They were not happy about it. I haven’t spoken to them in years. I wanted to leave, but I couldn’t find an excuse. The last thing I wanted was for Cyrus to figure it out and come after my son.”
“You did what you had to in order to protect Orsen.”
“But if I had spoken up sooner… Rowan, you never would have been hurt if I hadn’t been such a coward. And Cyrus is worse. He’s gone after a pregnant woman. If he found out about Orsen now…”
My heart broke for Ma, she worried for everyone else, but never herself. I couldn’t lie to her and say she had no reason to worry. The man had shown all of us just what he was capable of. But none of that was on Ma.
“No, the only person responsible for what happened to me is Cyrus. Ma, you were protecting Orsen.”
“And by protecting him, I allowed a monster to run free who nearly killed my son’s mate. Oh God, he’ll hate me when he finds out.”
I pulled her into a hug, squeezing her tightly. “No, he won’t. He’ll understand.”
“There’s another reason I brought this up now. My brother… Orsen has no idea, but he’s an Alpha in the south. Alpha Devaux. If I call, he will come. I know it’s too little too late, but I think we need all the help we can get.”
“You would call him?” I asked.
“I’ve not spoken to my brother in years… but I will.”
“In that case, you need to talk to Orsen—and Bastian.”
Ma swallowed. “Can you do it? I’m so tired… but they need to know.”
Considering Ma was taking several strong painkillers, it probably was for the best for me to tell them. As she lay in bed, her eyes started to drift shut. She’d done so much for me and this horde. I could do this for her.
Getting up, I took a deep breath, steeling myself for what I was about to do.
I didn’t have to do much to find Bastian, considering he was in the hallway, leaning against the wall, looking perfectly calm and content, simply waiting for his mate.
“Where to now?” he asked, smiling easily.
“Is Orsen in his office?” I knew how off my tone sounded, but I didn’t bother adjusting it. There was no way around this conversation. The only way out was through.
Bastian stood straight. “Is Ma okay?”
I nodded, reaching out to take his hand. “Yes, she’s fine. I just need to speak to the pair of you.”
Bastian bobbed his head, but there was no mistaking the worry on his face. I didn’t want to say more until we found Orsen, though. So, we headed off down the hall, knocking when we reached the office.
“Come in,” Orsen called out, and we both stepped inside. “Hey, what’s—”
Orsen’s smile dropped when he looked up at us, brow furrowing with concern. “What’s going on? You both look… Is Ma okay?”
I smiled, touched by their concern. “Yes, she’s okay. Recovering great. I just… I need to talk to you both about something important.”
I closed the door, ignoring the uneasy looks from the pair of them. They needed to know the truth. Were they going to be mad that I was telling them, not Ma? I hoped they would understand that she’d been through a lot.
“Ma told me some things today. Things she really should be telling you herself, but she’s exhausted from her recovery, so she’s asked me to. She may be able to get us some help against Cyrus.”
“How?” Bastian asked as he leaned against Orsen’s desk and perched on the edge.
I dropped my stare for a moment before looking at him. “Her brother is an Alpha.”
Orsen glanced between us, startled. “I have an uncle?”
“You do.” I nodded. “I don’t know how to say this delicately—and all things considered, this information is crucial—so I’m just going to say it: your father was Edmond.”
“Who?” Orsen asked, the name meaning nothing to him.
My chest pinched. “Cyrus’s older brother.”
“Now I have an uncle.” Bastian chuckled. “How did I not know?”
He sobered at my expression as I said, “Because Cyrus killed him. He and Ma were together, but keeping it hush-hush. She’d recently learned she was pregnant. They were getting ready to tell the horde when Cyrus found Edmond in the forest and murdered him for control of the horde.”
The two of them stared at me, the seconds dragging on as it all sank in.
“He… killed his own brother?” Bastian’s voice was thick with disgust.
“Yes. Ma never told anyone.”
“Why?” Orsen asked, his voice a horrified whisper. “If we’d known, we could have stopped him long before he ever knew about you!”
“She knows. She feels incredibly guilty about what has happened to me, but I’ve assured her it’s not her fault. The only person to blame is Cyrus.” I exhaled, sagging. “Orsen… she kept quiet to protect you.”
“Me?” he asked dumbly.
“Of course,” Bastian replied, sounding shell-shocked. “You’re the son of the rightful Alpha. You’d be dead if Cyrus knew about you… That also means we’re cousins.”
The pair looked at each other. I expected them to be upset or angry; the last thing I expected was for them to both descend into fits of laughter and hug each other.
“I knew there was a reason I put up with you!” Orsen declared.
I reeled back, more than a little surprised. “So… you’re okay?”
“I mean, I’ve been better, but…” Orsen huffed, letting all the air out of his lungs before sucking in more. “It tracks. Cyrus is a prick, and we all know it. I’m alive because Ma saved me from his lust for power. And it makes it even more clear that this horde was never supposed to be led by him.”
Relaxing, I blew out a breath and nodded. “Ma is going to call her brother when she feels up to it. A Southern Alpha could be useful if this situation isn’t resolved soon.”
“We’ll take all the help we can get,” Orsen agreed.
Bastian turned to him. “You’re really all right?”
Orsen bobbed his head mindlessly. “Yeah, I think. I never knew who my father was, so it’s a shock. It means we get more help, though, and knowing provides… closure? I won’t be wondering anymore.”
Bastian chuckled. “Just think, all the times my father has gone on about how I was the rightful horde Alpha. All along, he never knew I wasn’t. It was you.” He clapped Orsen’s shoulder, who looked slightly nauseated.
“Oh God. I’ve never been more thankful for the fact we’re a clan than right now.”
“I feel you.” Bastian turned down the corners of his mouth in a grimace, getting up and pulling Orsen into a manly hug. “No pesky hierarchy issues to deal with. We all take care of this horde.”
He opened his arm toward me, gesturing for me to join in the hug. I didn’t argue, finding I needed the confirmation that they were both okay with all this.
“That includes you, Rowan.” Bastian kissed the top of my head, Orsen wrapping an arm around my side.
“We’re all meant to be here together. Cyrus couldn’t stop it then, and he most certainly won’t stop it now,” Orsen declared.
And I really wanted to believe him.