Rowan
“Tell me, how are you really feeling about all this?” I asked, spitting out my toothpaste and rinsing my mouth.
Bastian and I were in my bathroom. He was leaning against the counter, with a far-off look in his eyes, while I got ready for bed. It’d been a long day, and I was more than ready to crash. All my head had to do was hit the pillow.
“I honestly don’t know,” Bastian admitted, his tone decidedly devoid of emotion. “Everything I thought I knew was wrong, and I’m not mad about it. I’m thrilled Orsen and I are related, but… there’s something…”
I wiped my face with a towel, turning to him as I set it down again. “It’s okay to feel weird about it. It’s going to take a bit of time to come to terms with it all.”
Hands grasped my hips, and one moment I was standing, the next, Bastian picked me up, spinning us so I was perched on the counter, him standing between my legs.
He narrowed his eyes at me with a grin. “You really are shockingly relaxed about this.”
“I’m too tired to freak out at this point.” I chuckled sleepily with a shrug. “You guys are all good at heart, and I think you’ll figure it out.”
“We will. All of us, you included.” Bastian leveled me with a look. “The horde looks to you just as much as they look to us four. We’re all crucial parts of the picture.”
I grimaced, sticking out my tongue as I shook my head. “I’m not a leader, Bastian. I’m just a healer.”
He snorted, rolling his eyes. “Are you kidding me? Who took charge and put Jenkins in his place?”
“Bastian, that doesn’t—”
“Who stood up to Cyrus and the horde when you knew taking in Allison was important?”
“I—”
“Who told me exactly where to shove it because I was being an ass?”
“All right!” I playfully swatted at Bastian’s chest. “I see your point.”
“Rowan”—Bastian held my chin, making me look at him as he stared directly into my eyes, the rest of the world disappeared—“you are the only thing holding us all together. I know you don’t see it, but you’re an Alpha here, too.
You stand up for those who need it, and you have everyone here’s respect.
Plus, that healing you waved off has done more good for this horde than the four of us did in years.
We owe all the improvements to you. You make our clan better people. You make me a better Alpha.”
I raised my brows, smiling as I nudged him in the chest. “Well, your tune certainly has changed.”
Bastian shrugged. “I’ve seen the light.” We both laughed at that. “You know what I mean. Even if I have to spend the next twenty years proving to you just how wrong I was, I’ll do it. In a heartbeat. Every damn day.”
He looked at me, his gaze so steady that I didn’t doubt a single word he said.
I reached up and rested my hand on his face, searching those dark eyes, not for anything in particular, just mapping them, committing them to memory.
“I guess”—Bastian let his stare fall, his eyes eventually closing as he exhaled, his breath fluttering the hair around my face—“deep down, I feel like I’ve lost the only thing that made me important?
I know that’s an insane thing to say, but I always saw myself as slightly more important than my clanmates, just by way of birth, which I’m learning I leaned on a lot more than I realized.
Finding out that Orsen is technically the true heir, so to speak…
I’m happy for him, genuinely, but there’s this weird sense of… loss,” Bastian admitted.
I cupped his face, getting him to focus on me. “Bastian, you have to know a title doesn’t really mean anything about who a person is.”
“Sure, technically. It’s only… What’s my purpose, then?
I’ve carried that extra weight, always been the one to shoulder just a bit more of the burden, because that was my job, that was who I was.
Without it… What am I even here for?” He looked down, his face unreadable, his hands squeezing my hips.
“That sounds terrible, but yeah… My identity was wrapped up in what I was to the horde, what I could do for them. If I’m not needed like that, if I don’t have as much to offer them…
Well, where do I find my value? Who am I supposed to be? ”
I cocked my head to the side, offering him a gentle smile as my heart cracked open. “Bastian, your worth has nothing to do with what you can do for us. Me and the guys we care about you because you’re you. It was never the fact you were the Alpha’s son that made me love you. Don’t you know that?”
Bastian paused, mouth dropping open, his fingers tightening against and then releasing my thighs, eyes the size of dinner plates as he regarded me.
“You… love me?” His voice was strangled.
I took a deep breath, leaning back when I realized what I had said.
I hadn’t meant to say that, but sitting here with him, I couldn’t deny it was true.
We’d come so far since the beginning, and everything he’d done had spoken volumes.
There was no putting a cat back in the bag once I’d said the word, and I realized that I really didn’t want to.
“Yes, Bastian, I do. Don’t get me wrong.
” I eyed him, smirking slightly. “You’re grumpy, surly, a royal pain in my ass, but you’re also sweet, caring, and genuinely a good man beneath all that bravado.
” I ran a hand through his hair. His eyes closed at the touch.
“When you open up, when you let me see you, how could I not love you? You really don’t have a clear picture of yourself, do you? ”
The concerned surprise disappeared from his face as he laughed roughly. “I wish I could see myself the way you see me. I think this would feel a lot less… I don’t know. Overwhelming?”
I smiled, smoothing my hand over his cheek. “Well, in the meantime, I’ll keep reminding you.”
“You really feel that way about me? After everything I did? Everything I said?”
I sighed, wrapping my arms around his neck and pulling him closer.
“Bastian, I’ve seen a lot more of you now.
Sure, there are still moments when I want to throat-punch you, but you’ve changed your ways, and I don’t feel the need to keep focusing on the past. Actions speak damn loudly.
And you’ve done a lot to show you care, that you regret what you did.
We have time to figure everything out. I’m not going anywhere.
And I’m pretty sure if you even tried to leave, for some stupid reason, the moment you shifted into dragon form, you’d be right back here, your dragon at my feet, being a good boy who loves me so much. ”
I grinned, wrapping my legs around him. I was being brave, spurred on by a desperate need to make Bastian understand he was more than Cyrus’s son.
Our connection had grown. He’d proven he wanted things to be different, for the horde, for us, and he was taking the actions necessary.
That spoke volumes about the man he was beneath the surface.
“You have a solid point.” Bastian pressed in closer, resting his forehead against mine. “And for the record, we both love you. Me and my dragon. Since the moment I saw you. Both versions of you.”
Tears prickled in my eyes, Bastian’s honesty like a balm over the scars of the past. I lifted his face, locking my eyes with his. “Kiss me.”
His stare flared. “What?”
“Kiss me, Bastian. I’m sick of waiting.” I didn’t back down, didn’t deny the growing heat inside me. “Now.”
As I pulled him closer, Bastian leaned in, our lips meeting. Sparks detonated inside me, a collision of stars as the bond we’d refused for so long took hold, grasping hard.
Electricity fizzled between us as our tongues danced, Bastian’s fingers digging into my hips as any sense of hesitation evaporated.
My arms wrapped around his neck, and I squeezed, unable to hold back the desire building inside me.
I’d wanted this man plenty, and now, the need to be close to him was almost overwhelming.
Bastian wrapped his arms around my waist, and he began to lift me.
“We are not doing this on a fucking bathroom counter,” he growled against my lips.
“Next time?” I giggled, heat pooling in my belly when his hands tightened on me.
It seemed Bastian liked that idea. But I had to agree. This time, though, I wanted him in bed. I wanted him over me, looking into my eyes as we finally let our mate bond expand, seizing us completely.
He lifted me off the counter, and I clamped my legs around his waist as he carried me to the bed.
Bastian set me down gently, following me, our kisses unending as he carefully pulled his arms out from under me, hands going to my face.
His hips between my thighs, Bastian’s erection rubbed against me, making my mind spin in the best way possible.
I did my best to pour my every emotion into the kiss, our tongues crashing as he explored me.
Bastian leaned back, pulling his shirt over his head. I marveled at the sight of him, the way his muscles stood out like carved perfection. I went to take off the sweatshirt I’d borrowed, but Bastian’s hands clamped down over my fingers, stopping me.
“Let me. Please.”
With a smile, I nodded, moving my fingers.
Bastian gripped the hem of the hoodie, smoothing it over my stomach as he leaned down, peppering my skin with kisses, not leaving a single section of my scars untouched.
The emotions were nearly overwhelming, but they were good.
Without a word, Bastian was telling me everything I needed to know.
He acknowledged what I’d been through, how I’d been changed, and wanted me, nonetheless.
It wasn’t surprising, but it was nice to be reminded.
The fabric went over my head soon after, and Bastian kissed me again as I sat up. I reached for his pants, undoing the button and zipper. Leaning so that his lips still touched mine, he shrugged off his jeans, his boxers going along with them. This time, I allowed myself to look down.
Oh, damn.
Before I could say anything, though, Bastian reached for my hips, scooting me to the end of the bed.
His lips worked over my neck and chest, thumbs pushing off the straps of my sports bra before going to the waistband of my leggings.
He slipped his fingers beneath the fabric and pulled on them, kissing my hips and thighs as he did.
My skin hummed, buzzing from head to toe as Bastian lavished me with such attention that I was boiling up, pumping hot arousal through my veins instead of mere blood.
“Lie back for me.” Bastian smiled as he looked up at me from the end of the bed, and my heartbeat skipped. It was such a rare sight; Bastian had a truly gorgeous smile. I breathed out, smiling back before I chewed on my lip, lying down slowly, turning my head to keep looking at him.
Bastian’s eyes roamed over my body. “You are stunning, Rowan. The most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.”
My cheeks warmed, eyes prickling again, but I just grinned, sniffling slightly as I said, “You’re not too shabby yourself, grumpy.”
Rolling his eyes, Bastian chuckled low as he moved closer. I expected him to kiss me again, and I suppose I was partly correct. He gripped my hips, shuffling me backward on the bed as he lowered and kissed my hip again. His touch warmed my skin, and I watched him, utterly absorbed.
“Ahh,” I breathed, my eyes fluttering shut as Bastian gently ran his tongue over my folds.
He wasted no time, circling my clit with his tongue in expert waves and spirals. I seized up, tightening as my body rushed toward a release. My fingers tangled in his hair, gripping as he skillfully devoured me.
“Bastian… I-I… Ugh!” The climax surged through me, making my head spin as the cresting wave crashed down, covering me from head to toe.
As soon as I could, I pulled him up, breathing hard and saying, “Knot me. Please. Knot me now.”
A hungry growl rumbled out of him as his cock brushed over my pussy. I whimpered, eyes closing, and he crashed his lips down on mine. I could taste myself on his tongue as he notched his cock at my entrance. I wrapped my arms around his neck, tilting my hips for him.
And then he slid into me, this perfect glide until he was sheathed up to his already swelling knot.
I cried out, wrapping my legs around his hips.
Bastian slid an arm under my neck, the other elbow planted on the bed.
His kisses were as potent and all-consuming as his thrusts, which sank into me with overpowering heat and power.
He muttered sweet words with every thrust, but I was too far gone to hear them as my core clenched around him. My heart soared, and I held on to him so damn tightly while he cradled my head, his kisses fervent and unyielding.
As he pistoned his hips, his knot beginning to press into me, Bastian whispered, “You are everything to me, Rowan.”
“Bastian,” I whined, spinning with my body stretched around him.
With a hot, guttural groan, that swelling knot slipped inside me, and I knew, soon enough, he would fully expand, and we would be locked together.
“Ugh! Yes!”
Our bodies moved as one, our hips meeting and receding as he thrusted. Bastian bottomed out, filling me so completely, and his knot pressed against that bundle of nerves that had me seeing stars.
My orgasm hit me with shocking force, making me cry out as he nipped at my neck.
“You’re so incredible, Rowan.” He swiveled his hips slowly, then pressed deep, and I felt him thicken, his knot pulsing, and then warmth took hold of me, flooding me as he growled, his forehead on mine.
“I love you,” I muttered sleepily, the force of my release exhausting me.
He kissed the top of my head. “I love you. So fucking much.”
“When I have some energy, we are going to do that again.”
His chuckle was low and rumbly. “Sure thing. Come here, mate.”
Carefully, he rolled us over, so I was on top of him, and we shuffled to the head of the bed. Bastian pulled the blanket over me, and I gave in to the sleepiness, listening to his heartbeat, pounding right next to my ear.