Chapter 37
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Lesson learned , Thea thought to herself as she stood in front of their apartment the next day after the breakup. Always trust your friends, even when you think they are wrong. Mallory had warned her that Draven would break her heart.
Now, Thea was moving out, having to find a new apartment, and most likely having to go back to a stable nine-to-five finance job to pay for rent.
All last night, Draven had called her. She finally texted him back, “ I don’t do phone calls, dummy .”
So, he texted her thirty-five apologies. One had caught her eye the most. “ I didn’t want to invite you on tour because I didn’t want to be the reason you press pause on your dream. You’re in L.A., the land of movie set jobs. On tour for six months, you could lose your momentum. I never want to hold you back, Thea. Ever .”
Leaving with him would have been her decision. And hello ? Touring the world with him was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. She could have practiced and learned her craft during that time. It wasn’t just “pressing pause.” Life happens in every moment . More time with Draven would never feel like pressing pause.
It didn’t matter why he pushed her away. It happened and could happen again.
She needed to start over. She needed space—a lie. She hated space.
Her life had been filled with too much space. Space in her childhood home where her parents and siblings struggled to connect with her. Space in her school classrooms where hearing students avoided her, scared of passing notes and being yelled at.
She wanted a grade-A clinger. A “ I never want you to leave my arms ” teddy bear of a man. That was what she thought Draven was.
Taking a deep breath, she opened the apartment door and stepped inside.
Pink Post-it notes. Everywhere. On the table. Couch. TV. Fridge. Microwave. Walls. Everywhere.
She gasped as she found one on the floor beside her shoe. She picked it up and read, “ Before you move out and leave me heartbroken and destitute, read each of these. I triple-dog dare you, baby. So, you have to do it. It’s the law . – The Man Who Loves You .”
Swallowing, mouth suddenly dry, she followed the trail of notes, reading them and feeling the tension in her chest sinking.
“ I promise to watch horror movies with you even when you scarily chuckle as people get murdered. Every moment holding you in my arms on the couch makes the nightmares worth it. –A Scaredy Cat With Big Muscles .”
“ I love the way you do everything way too loudly. You laugh and chew like a menace. You bang cabinet doors shut cause you can’t tell you’re doing it. Life is too quiet without your noise, baby. I miss you . –A Very Lonely Man In Love With You .”
“ I want you to teach me how to dance. The way you flail your arms and shriek with laughter. Nothing has ever been so stunning to me. So beautiful. Your lawnmower move changed my perspective on life . –A Drummer In Need Of A Dance Partner .”
“ How are you going to move out if I hide all your underwear? Joking. Don’t hold this one against me. –Your Inappropriate Landlord Looking For An Excuse To Hide Your Panties .”
Thea breathily laughed, striving to swallow down the sound. Swallow down the rising emotions.
“ Kissing you feels like wrapping a fuzzy blanket around my soul. I don’t know if that’s a weird thing to write, but it’s true. –The Man Who Does Not Write Song Lyrics For A Reason .”
She grabbed another note. And another.
“ If you stay, you can have all the almond milk you want. I will buy an almond tree and milk the nuts myself. –Someone Who Doesn’t Know How Almond Milk Is Made But Will Do Anything For You .”
“ I’m sorry you ever felt the need to bend yourself to others’ expectations. The only bending you will ever do with me is of the sexual yoga position variety. –A Man Who Would Literally Die Just To See You In Those Yoga Shorts Again And Also Die Before Ever Asking You To Change Yourself .”
“ I promise never to use up all the hot water before you shower. –A Man Cursed To Cold Showers For The Woman He Loves. ”
“ If I have to bribe your friends to like me, I will. Do they like fresh pumpkin pie? –A Baker Driven To Bribery .”
“ I promise to let you practice your makeup on me. Whatever You Want. Always. I’m Yours. –Your Helplessly-In-Love Roommate .”
“ I loved hearing how close you were with your grandfather. I’m sorry I can’t meet him. I will buy you a hundred pearl necklaces in his absence just because they bring you comfort. –A Man Willing To Make An Enemy Of Every Oyster He Meets .”
“ I’m an idiot who thought I was doing the right thing by letting you go. Forgive me? – The Clown Who Listened To Wren .”
Dazedly stumbling, she made it to her bedroom door, which was also covered in pink notes.
“ I am more than willing to face a few sour people to be with you, Thea. I’m fairly certain I would have a fistfight against a chainsaw for you. –Someone Who Will Always Put In The Effort .”
“ You are perfect to me. More than enough. I know I’ll never be worthy of you, but since no one else ever will be either, I will dedicate my life to being all that you need. –Draven (I couldn’t think of something fun for this one. I take loving you very seriously) .”
Opening the door, she found Draven sitting on the floor, his legs crisscrossed under him as he wrote on more squares of pink paper.
His head shot up, his lips parted, and he dropped his marker. He signed, “ No! I’m not done yet. You were supposed to come later. I still have more to write —”
She fell to her knees in front of him and tackled him to the ground.
Slack-jawed, he caught her, maneuvering their bodies so none of her limbs hit the floor. Protecting her. Always.
Warm tears streaked her face, but she did not care. They were tears of love—salty, overflowing love. More written notes littered the floor all around them. This man loved her so much, he wrote a year’s worth of love notes.
She cupped his face, bit her lip, and blinked at him through watery eyes. My dreams are full of bright green irises. Of crooked smiles. Of dirty jokes . Of Draven.
She had never wanted that Prince Charming and Princess fairytale. Draven and Thea were knights, ready to fight for each other at every turn. They fumbled around in thick armor, which was invisible to the world, but they saw it and the hidden scars beneath. Their wounds matched like couple tattoos.
She kissed his chin. His cheek. His nose.
He held her close and teared up before her eyes. Both of them were blubbering, weepy messes as they kissed each other’s faces but not the lips. Not yet.
When their mouths finally met, they tasted like salty ocean water. And love.
Pure, accepting love.
Like the feeling of meeting each other’s gazes across the room and breaking out into helpless, goofy grins over nothing.
When they kissed, Thea memorized next year’s Thanksgiving proclamation. I am thankful for everything that led me to him. Everything, always and forever .