23. Lorraine
Chapter Twenty-Three
Lorraine
P hilippa walked into the cabin, studying me cautiously.
“I think I’m starting to figure out this oven,” I said. “I made a pie.”
“What?” Philippa stared at the pie I produced.
“I have no idea what’s in it. The fruit in that orchard look different from anything I’ve ever had, but they’re delicious. Try a piece.”
“Okay,” Philippa said carefully.
I cut her a slice, the steam rising from the filling. When Philippa bit into the pie, her eyes rolled back before they closed.
“Oh, gods and goddesses,” she sighed. “This pie is amazing.”
I giggled. “You can have more.”
“Oh, no.” She shook her head while shoveling more pie into her mouth. “I can’t have more than one slice or I won’t stop. Seriously, that pie is so good, I’ll eat until you have to roll me out of here.”
I laughed, cut myself a slice, and walked into the living area, where I tucked my feet under me on the couch. Philippa carried her loot to me and sat down on the other end of the couch.
“So, you look like you’re in a good mood,” Philippa said, speaking around the pie she chewed. “I thought I would find you in a state after you talked to Ash about the whole magic thing.” She glanced up at me while she ate.
I shook my head. “I’m not in any kind of state. Except a happy one, I guess. I was angry when I found out, and I wanted him to own up to it. He did. His reason for not telling me was sweet.”
Philippa raised her eyebrows. “It was?”
I nodded. “He’s a nice guy.”
Philippa tilted her head to the side. “Are we talking about the same guy?”
I giggled. “What do you mean?”
“Honey, Ash isn’t a nice guy. He’s not even a neutral guy. He’s grumpy as hell, he doesn’t do nice things for people… he pretty much just gets what he wants.”
“Really? That’s not how I see him at all.”
“Yeah, that’s weird,” Philippa said, taking another bite. “That could be problematic.”
“What?” I laughed. “Why?”
“I have no idea.”
That only made me laugh more. “I have no idea what you’re trying to say.”
Philippa finished her pie and put the empty plate on the couch pillow next to her. “Ash just isn’t a nice guy. He has too much baggage, and he’s very grumpy and sullen about it. He’s been like that for three hundred years.”
I narrowed my eyes at Philippa. “How long?”
“Oh, right. You’re not used to the whole immortality thing. Druses don’t die. They’re the protectors of the forest so they live forever, unless something goes wrong. So, when shit happens, even if it’s a lifetime ago, it’s the same person with the same past and the same burdens as centuries ago.”
I frowned and shook my head. “It’s hard to imagine someone living that long.” I glanced around the cabin. “I guess it makes sense why this place is so medieval, then. I mean, there’s not even running water or electricity or anything.”
Philippa nodded. “Yeah. He’s had this place for a long time. It was where Ava used to visit him, too.”
“That’s his ex?” I asked.
Philippa nodded.
“That was three hundred years ago?” I asked. Philippa had filled me in on Ash’s failed relationship, but not in so much detail. “That’s a long time.”
“It was.”
“And it still bugs him?”
“She really pulled one over on him. Those kinds of things don’t just go away with time.”
“Doesn’t time change everything?”
Philippa shook her head. “Time doesn’t change anything. You can change them, but if you don’t, they stay the same.”
I thought about that. It made sense on the one hand, and on the other… it didn’t make sense at all.
“Okay, so what am I supposed to make of what you just said? That he’s not a nice guy?”
“I don’t know,” Philippa said again. “I don’t know him to be anything other than a grouch. We’ve all tried to draw him out of his shell, but a lot of us have given up. We all have eternity on our side, but trust me, even we get over something after a couple of centuries.”
“Huh,” I said, my head spinning.
“It’s mostly Rowan and Artemis who keep at it now. It’s sweet of them, but none of us thought it would change anything. It’s an exercise in futility. Until you came along.”
I didn’t know what to say to that, so I didn’t say anything at all.
“Just promise me you’ll be careful with him,” Philippa said.
“What do you mean? He won’t hurt me.”
“That’s not what I meant,” Philippa said. “He won’t hurt you, but you might hurt him. If you don’t feel something for him, don’t lead him on. He’s had more heartbreak than a man should be able to deal with, no matter how old, and he gave up everything for Ava. Don’t make him do that unless you’re serious.”
I nodded. “It’s not a big deal. He’s not serious, and I won’t be here for much longer. You don’t have to worry. We’re just having fun.”
“Yeah. Baking pies and being nice to each other.”
I nodded.
Philippa gave me a pointed look, but I wasn’t sure what she was trying to say to me. Whatever it was, there was nothing to worry about.
Ash and I were just having fun. A fling. He was my rebound after Oscar and all his horrors. Maybe I was his rebound, too. I wasn’t sure how much of a rebound I could be after that long—I still struggled to wrap my mind around the three centuries—but if anyone thought this was just about getting off, it was Ash. He was all about sex, and nothing else.
Except it didn’t feel that way the other night when we’d been together. It had felt real. Sensual, connected… it had felt the way I’d always figured a relationship should feel like when you were in love. I’d never had that with Oscar, and it had been missing.
Why had I felt that with Ash?
“It’s the magic,” I said out loud.
“What’s the magic?” Philippa asked, confused.
“The magic makes everything feel different, but that doesn’t mean anything.”
“Are you talking about Ash?” Philippa asked carefully.
“Sure,” I said. “And the pie. I can’t bake like this, ever. The magic made it great. It made the fruit in the pie great, too. And it’s making this thing with Ash feel great. The moment I leave it behind, everything will be fine again.”
“Yeah, okay,” Philippa said, nodding her head slowly. “I guess you could see it that way. The thing is… you might leave the magic behind, and it will all be over for you, but Ash will stay behind.”
“I won’t hurt him,” I promised. “We’re just having a bit of fun.”
“Okay,” Philippa said, but she didn’t look convinced. I wasn’t sure how to tell her that this was just a fling and it meant nothing.
How could I convince her if I wasn’t sure I believed it myself?