CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Helena held her breath, waiting for him to say the words… I do love you. I always have and always will…
For a long moment, he didn’t speak, didn’t move, and a deep sadness swept over her because she knew in that terrible silence that he wasn’t going to say it.
Instead, he tenderly caressed her breast and murmured, “I will make tonight perfect for you.” His thumb teased her hard nipple through a tiny gap in the lace. “I promise.”
Then he lowered his head to gently take her nipple between his lips.
She closed her eyes to focus on the feel of his warm lips on her breast and to force away her disappointment.
He hadn’t said he loved her, and that lack of admission—again—was more painful than she wanted to admit to herself.
But she could feel his love in his tender kisses and in the caring way his hands caressed her.
He would show her his affection and love tonight in the joining of their bodies and souls, and she would let that be enough. For now.
She brushed her fingers through his hair in silent encouragement as he continued to lave at her nipple through the lace with his tongue and arched herself toward him.
She wanted him tonight far more than just to prove that she wasn’t Clarissa.
She simply wanted him. Five years without him had been agony.
After tonight, she would never have to be without him again.
He lifted his head from her breast and seized her mouth with his.
His sudden hunger for her stole her breath away, and she had no choice but to cling to him to keep from falling to the floor as his open-mouthed, demanding kisses made her boneless.
As if he could read her mind, he moved his hands down to her hips to steady her.
Then he tugged her against him, and she could feel the evidence of his desire pressing hard into her lower belly.
“Helena,” he murmured. He reached down for her skirt and began to pull the gauzy material upward, baring her legs to the top of her thighs.
A low whimper of surrender passed her lips, and she could feel him smile against her mouth as he drank up the sound.
Then his large hands slid beneath her skirt and squeezed her bare bottom in a slow rhythm that matched the pulse of his tongue between her lips.
Every beat came in time with her racing heart and stoked the growing flames now licking at her toes.
His hands slid back up her body and down her bare arms, leaving a trail of goosebumps in their wake. Then he broke the kiss, stepped back, and held her arms out as he dropped his gaze over her. This time, sheer wonderment tempered the raw desire in his expression.
“You are so beautiful,” he whispered. “The most radiant woman I’ve ever seen…and I can barely believe you’re truly here.”
She blinked rapidly to clear the tears from her eyes, unable to find her voice to assure him, Tonight and always.
He cupped her cheek against his palm and kissed her with so much affection and tenderness that a tear slipped free.
He froze at the sight, guilt darkening his face. “I’ve made you cry.”
“Yes.” She smiled through her tears. “Because you’ve made me so happy.”
He wrapped his arms around her and rested his forehead against hers. “Good.” He placed a soft kiss to her lips as if to seal a promise. “Because all I want to do for the rest of my life is make you happy.”
He swept her into his arms and carried her across the room to the bed.
Kissing her languidly, he placed her onto the velvet counterpane and followed down after her to deepen the kiss until she lay fully back against the soft mattress.
The bed had already been turned down for the night, the pillows fluffed, and the wine-colored drapes untied and hanging loose about the four posters, all ready for a warm night against the evening chill.
Yet Helena shivered. Everything about this large bed proclaimed sheer masculinity and power.
Sensing her hesitation, he pulled back to gaze down at her. “Is something wrong?” He paused as he searched her face, concerned. “Have you changed your mind?”
“No.” She reassured him with a brush of her hand to his cheek and thrilled at the provocative scratch of his midnight beard beneath her fingertips.
“I want this. I want you.” When he smiled, pleased, she traced his curving lips with her fingertip.
“I just…” She nervously inhaled a deep breath and darted a glance around them at the tall mahogany posts and yards of velvet hanging from them.
“I just never realized how grand your bed would be.”
With a smile, he turned his head to place a kiss on her palm. “Our bed,” he corrected and trailed his hands down her body, caressing her through the lace and silk of the night rail and stockings. “After tonight, it’s your bed, too.”
Happiness panged inside her chest. “Our bed,” she repeated in a whisper as she stretched out across the velvet and satin and did her best to tamp down any last nervousness flittering inside her. “Then come to our bed.”
His eyes flared with hunger. He lowered his mouth to capture hers in a blistering kiss that made her sink deeper into the soft bed and left her mind spinning, her body aching in all kinds of delicious places.
But when she moaned softly and encircled his neck with her arms to bring him down on top of her, he slipped away.
She blinked uncertainly up at him as he stood at the side of the bed in the shadows.
But when he reached down to unfasten his trousers, she knew why he’d moved away.
Suddenly, her nervousness returned like a crashing wave, and she swallowed, hard, even as she dared to keep her gaze fixed on him.
The shadows gave her only a vague view of his body as he stripped out of his trousers, but the broad shoulders, narrow waist, and hard muscles of his arms and legs were unmistakable.
So was the warmth of his bare flesh as he crawled into bed with her.
But instead of lying beside her on the mattress, he stalked up the length of her body on hands and knees like a panther.
And just like a panther, he growled and nipped his teeth at her throat, then down the smooth stretch of flesh to her shoulder. Helena caught her breath.
“You are beautiful,” he murmured, as if sensing her apprehension, and brushed his cheek against her shoulder.
“So soft and warm.” He caressed his hand down her body and across the lace and thin silk that barely covered her from his heated gaze.
“So decadent.” Then he placed a tender kiss to her lips.
“And so very special in all kinds of ways that have nothing to do with how you look…your kindness, your wit, your generosity.”
Her eyes stung.
He gave her a crooked grin. “But don’t think I don’t appreciate that you had this made for your trousseau.” He took the hem of her skirt and tugged it playfully. “Not at all.”
She laughed at his teasing and wiggled her hips to lift herself from the counterpane so he could remove the gown.
“Oh no.” His hand rested on her hip and stilled her. “I prefer you leave it on.” He stroked over the lace bodice and caressed her breast. “If you don’t mind.”
Of course not…but her aroused lips couldn’t form anything more than a soft breath of consent as he lowered his head and pulled down the lace bodice with his teeth to expose her bare breasts.
A faint groan rose from the back of his throat, and he took her nipple between his lips and suckled.
Each strong pull of his lips took her deeper into his mouth, and a liquid warmth spread through her like hot oil.
But it was his hands which proved even more wicked as they slipped beneath her skirt and pushed it up nearly to her waist, then caressed the bare stretch of thighs above her stockings. His hand stroked between her thighs.
She gasped with surprise, only for the sound to melt into a whimper of need on her lips as his fingers began to explore her warm folds.
His fingertips circled the tender lips of her intimate core, with each tease stroking slightly harder, sinking slightly deeper.
A single finger slipped inside her, and the tiny muscles inside her tightened around him, only to quiver when a second finger joined the first. Soon, all she knew was the smooth slide of his fingers inside her, filling her wantonly, as everything else in the world faded away except for him.
When he slid down her body, she held her breath in sweet anticipation, knowing—
He kissed her right where his fingers had been, and a shiver of hot need sped through her.
She heard the soft sounds of his mouth against her wet folds and was unable to keep from writhing beneath his shocking kisses.
She should have been embarrassed by her body’s need for him, but she wasn’t.
She wasn’t ashamed of wanting him as a husband, partner, and lover, and from the way his mouth worshipped at her, neither was he.
Each possessive kiss, each deep swirl of his tongue and soft nip of his teeth, sent throbbing aches spinning through her, until her fingers dug hard into his shoulders to keep herself from crying out.
A mounting pleasure curled her toes, and her body tensed beneath his.
He had done this to her before, had brought her such pleasure by kissing her in such an intimate way, but that was nothing compared to this moment.
Because she knew, tonight, he would give her so much more than mere kisses, no matter how delicious.
When she could hardly stand any longer the sensations of pleasure he stirred between her legs and wiggled her hips beneath him to ease the pressure building inside her, he placed one last kiss to her inner thigh and slowly rose back up her body.
He nudged her legs wide apart with his hips and settled himself into the cradle of her thighs, then rested his cheek against hers.
“It will be wonderful,” he murmured hoarsely into her ear. “I promise.”