Chapter 29
Adrian spent that night thinking about what he had to do.
Seeing how broken Lord Delacourt was confirmed within him that he could never allow such a thing to happen to himself.
He lay in bed, their conversation playing in his mind, images of his own father fixed firmly in his subconscious because his father had acted in a way that was a little too similar to how Lord Delacourt was behaving.
He needed to stay the course. Ophelia was set to leave, and while she claimed that she would do so on her own, Adrian knew that the quickest way to get rid of her was to find Harriet’s father.
Of course, finding him was an issue, an unsolvable problem that might never be fully realized. But as Adrian lay in bed, as he thought about Lord Delacourt and what he said about his wife, another thought came to mind… an idea that might just fix all his problems at once.
When dawn came the next morning, Adrian rose and readied for the morning. He knew what he had to do, just as he knew how hard it would be. But it had to be done, a final confrontation, and hopefully the last one.
And once it is done, I can move on once and for all… I must move on.
So it was that he did what he promised he would never do again. He went to speak with Ophelia, for what he hoped might be the final time. And if not the final time, it would put that final nail in the coffin that had been their marriage.
She would likely hate him for this, but maybe that was for the best.
Adrian found Ophelia in the breakfast room.
She sat at the end of the table, and he paused in the doorway when he saw that she had Harriet with her.
The baby sat on her knee, giggling at something that had her attention, and the smile that Ophelia wore as she played with Harriet was like a dagger through his heart…
“Ophelia…” His voice was softer than he meant it to be.
She looked up when she heard his voice. No smile at the sight of him. No warmth. Her expression was hard like stone, and no sooner did she see him than she was back to focusing on Harriet.
“Can we talk for a moment?” he asked as he stepped into the room.
“I think we have talked enough.” She purposefully avoided looking at him as he walked toward her. “Although you should know that I have already started searching for places to live. I hope that I will be out of your way soon. I know how much you want that.”
He winced, and very nearly told her that such things were the complete opposite of what he wanted. It wasn’t enough that she was leaving. But that she had cut him off entirely, signaling that she did not need him at all… that hurt more than anything.
“I… I am glad to hear it,” he forced himself to say. “And as I told you already, if you need any help at all, all you need to do is ask.”
“I will be quite fine,” she said coldly.
She did not hate him. Adrian knew that. What was more, he was certain that if he apologized, she might forgive him.
She did not want to leave, just as she did not want their marriage to end.
Why she was so committed to their relationship, he could not say.
But that she was… again, she was too good for him, and he did not deserve it.
“I want you to know that I visited Lord Delacourt yesterday,” he said. Ophelia stiffened, her eyes widening with fear. “I did not mention Harriet, however,” he assured her. “I merely wished to check on the man and possibly learn the truth of his wife’s affair.”
“And?” She swallowed, seeming to hold Harriet a little closer. “What did he say?”
“He is heartbroken, Ophelia,” Adrian said simply. “You told me that he loved his wife, and I saw no evidence to the contrary. He has been mourning her since her death; broken in ways I did not know were possible.”
Ophelia dropped her head. “It is funny, isn’t it? Even after all that happened, he is able to look past such things… he really did love her.”
“Of that, I have no doubt.”
“What next?” She looked up, forcing herself to meet Adrian’s gaze. “What are you… What of Harriet’s father?” Her voice cracked with worry.
Adrian hesitated because he knew what he was going to say next would not be greeted with cheer. He did not wish to argue or fight, but he knew that his decision was the right one. He just needed Ophelia to see it too.
“I have thought quite a bit about it,” he began carefully. “And the more I have done, the more I have come to realize how impossible it might be to find Harriet’s true father. Even the staff do not know who the man is, nor do they have any way of learning the truth.”
Her brow furrowed. “What does that mean?”
“It means that Harriet may never be with her true father,” he said.
“And that is why I have come to a decision which I believe to be for the best. I want you to know, Ophelia, while you might not believe it, I do want what is best for the child. All I want is for her to have the life that she deserves.”
“I know it,” she admitted, her expression softening just a bit. “You are many things, Adrian, most of which you will likely deny.” She shook her head and a smile touched her lips. “But I have seen how much you care for Harriet, and I know you do not wish ill upon her.”
“I am glad to hear you say that.” He breathed a sigh of relief. “Because what I am about to suggest, you might not like it, but please, Ophelia, know that it is for the best.”
“What…” She hugged Harriet closer to her body. “What are you saying?”
“When I spoke to Lord Delacourt yesterday, I did not see a man who resented his wife’s affair.
What I saw was a man who loved his wife more than any man can imagine.
What is more, he appeared desperate to remember her, to hold onto her legacy so that it would not be forgotten.
” He smiled. “He was even grateful to hear that you thought so fondly of her, as if that was proof that he was right in how he felt.”
“All right…”
“My point is, if he were to learn about Harriet, I doubt that he would mean the baby any harm. In fact, it is my belief that he would see in the child his wife’s legacy, a chance for him to remember her and –”
“No!” Harriet cried out and clutched onto Harriet as if for dear life. “You cannot mean what I think!”
“Harriet needs a father,” Adrian spoke firmly, refusing to back down. “She needs someone who will care for her and who will give her a life. I believe that Lord Delacourt is that man.”
She shook her head. “You cannot know that! What if… what if he sees her as the reason for his wife’s death? That is just as likely.”
“I do not think that will be the case.”
“But you do not know for sure!”
The fear felt by Ophelia was undeniable. And she looked at Adrian with pleading eyes, desperate for him to change his mind. And while Adrian did not enjoy seeing his wife in such torment, he committed to his decision. Harriet could not stay with Ophelia, nor with him. This was the only way.
“She is not your child,” he said, hating how harsh it sounded. “And so long as you are with her, people will talk.”
“Let them talk.”
“You are already set to spend the rest of your life alone, Ophelia,” he pleaded.
“You will never be allowed to socialize with the ton. You will never be able to join that world again. If Harriet stays with you, she will be subjected to the same life. She might be happy. She might be safe. But she will grow up wondering always why she was denied that which is her right.”
“No, I…” Ophelia shook her head. “I will be good to her, Adrian. She needs a mother.”
“She needs a proper life,” he said. “She needs someone who will give her that. As his wife’s affair was unknown, he would be able to raise her as his own. He will give her everything. What is more, I believe that he wants to. He wants to do right by his wife.”
“But… but…” Her chin started to wobble. “She is… I… what if you are wrong?” he pleaded as her eyes welled with tears. “What if he takes her and proves what I know?”
“I will ensure that does not happen,” Adrian said. “I will keep an eye on her, always. As I will let Lord Delacourt know it. Nothing will happen to her, Ophelia, I promise you. Surely, you must see that this is for the best? Think of Harriet.”
The pain in his wife’s eyes almost broke Adrian. How he wanted to go to her, to take her in his arms, and to hold her so that she would know that he was there for her. He did not enjoy this; he took no pleasure, but he knew that it was the right thing.
Just as he was protecting Ophelia by sending her away, he was protecting Harriet by giving her to a man who might raise her as she deserved. He had to believe that.
“Harriet is exactly who I am thinking of.” His voice was soft, his stare pleading. “I am going to write to Lord Delacourt today, Ophelia, asking that he come and see Harriet. Hopefully, when he does, you will see how he feels, and you will know that this is the right thing.”
She said nothing. She did not argue. She did not stand up and walk away. She simply held Harriet to her chest, allowing her tears to fall.
With his piece said, Adrian forced himself to turn and leave.
And while he knew that he had made the right choice, images of his wife’s crying face followed him as he went, battering him into submission, breaking him that little bit more than he was already broken.
Doing the right thing… it was never meant to be easy. But Adrian just wished that for once, it wasn’t so hard.