Chapter 32
Charles
I glance about the ball, looking for the sparkling blond of Cynthia’s hair. So far, I see nothing. Worse, I can’t even smell her. Has some mischief befallen?
Glancing over at Henhaven, I watch as he mingles with various men, engaging in conversations, but never staying. He seems preoccupied enough. Downing a small glass of brandy, I set off to find the wayward omega.
She’s avoided me long enough. I will have a private conversation with her if it’s the last thing I do. But first, I have to find her.
A slight prick of fear stings my heart as I walk to the alcoves and balconies and come up empty. Could she have left? I cannot ask Henhaven. He’ll either refuse to give me the answer or demand to know why I wish to ascertain her whereabouts.
Neither option is open to me right now. I must see her. I must talk to her. I must figure out a plan.
The night I took her arse, I was selfish. I only thought about my needs and not hers. Though she ended up enjoying it, I was a cad for how I treated her.
I long to apologize, to beg her to let me back into her life. Even if she is married, I cannot stand to be apart. There has to be a way for us to coexist.
Damn. Nowhere in the ballroom itself. That means she has to be somewhere else. But where? Where could she have possibly gone?
I slip out of the crush and make my way to the gardens, but find them empty. Unease clenches my gut as I come back in and start to search the other rooms. As I near the library, her scent blooms, revealing her location. But, of course, I should have checked there first.
My cock jerks as I slip into the room, keeping my steps as silent as possible. There, huddled in the corner, with a book in her lap that remains unopened, is Cynthia. She sits there with her eyes closed, a weary expression on her face.
“We certainly have to stop meeting like this,” I grumble into the silence.
Her eyes shoot open as a hint of arousal drifts from her body. Just like that first night between us, the night that revealed what a perfect omega she was for me. If only my brother had kept his damned mouth shut.
“Or,” she whispers. “You could just stop going into libraries to be alone. Tell me, is a maid accompanying you this time? Or do you expect me to come to you on my hands and knees and draw your cock into my mouth?”
“Though the idea does have some merit,” I chuckle, “this library would not be a good place for such an intimate act.”
“But yours was?”
A heavy sigh flits from my lips as I motion for her to come to me. “It was my house. I knew all the people in it. The sounds, the smells. All of it is familiar. Here, I am at a loss.”
She walks over to me, taking small, tentative steps, but still she comes. I will take that small victory.
“Cynthia,” I breathe, taking in her scent. “I cannot think without you by my side. I cannot live. I am merely a hollowed-out shell. I need you. Please, do not keep turning me away.”
“You need me,” she says, her voice going up a touch in volume.
“You need me?” Unshed tears shine in her eyes as she plants her hands on her hips and glares at me.
“Then what’s keeping you from having me?
What’s keeping you from taking me as your own?
Damning the consequences? Why do you keep tormenting me with your presence? Can you not let me be happy?”
“Happy?” I bark out. “Happy? And you’re oh, so very happy with Henhaven, I suppose. I see the happiness all over your face every time you’re with him. The polite smiles, the soft winces. I see all of it. I note all of it.”
“I am not some battle plan for you to study,” she sputters. “You have no right-”
“No right? No bloody right? Who are you to tell me I have no right when the scent of your skin is embedded in my very bones? My heart beats to a refrain that cries out for you. No right? Your happiness is my right.”
“Not anymore. You lost that the moment my engagement was announced.”
I stand there in shocked silence, taking in her words. “You can’t mean that.”
Her chin wobbles a bit, but she holds firm. “You’ve rejected me over and over. You stand there surprised that I’m the one to reject you?”
“You don’t understand-”
“Oh, I understand plenty. These nights away from you have given me a clarity I didn’t have when you turned my head with your filthy speech and dark arousal.”
“Oh, and what clarity is that?”
“That Henhaven actually wants me as a wife.”
“He wants you as a mother to his sisters,” I spit out. “It’s clear that’s his priority. Why else would he put forth his suit when you two are unacquainted?”
She steps back from me, pain shining through her gaze. It’s not my intention to hurt her, but it’s the truth. Well, at least a truth.
“You think no one else could find it in them to love me? That no one else would want me?”
“That’s not what I’m saying.”
“Then what are you saying?” she screeches. “That I’m only good enough to be a wife in name and a mother in duty, all the while I am to be your whore?”
“Not my whore,” I snarl.
“Then what do you call it? What do you call a woman who marries another but still carries on with another man? You speak of duty, honor, and loyalty. You will die for your family to prevent them from coming to scandal, but you refuse to think twice of asking me to do the unthinkable?”
“But my family-”
“Oh blast your family,” she sobs out. “Though we are all bosom friends, when will you ever choose me over them? When will you choose your heart over duty? When will you ever love me enough?”
“Cynthia, I-”
“I can’t. I can’t hear it anymore. I can’t hear you make these declarations knowing they will never come true. I’m tired of waiting. I’m tired of hoping. I’m just… I’m just tired of all of it. Henhaven asked for my hand. That’s more than you’ve ever done.”
My heart slams in my chest as emotions swirl under the surface. I have to tell her. I have to show her how I feel. If not now, when?
“Cynthia Campbell,” I snarl, stepping closer.
“I have loved you from the moment you ran into me, covering me with your cloud of flour. I have craved you since your scent changed and blossomed, showing me the woman who grew from the girl I ignored. I love you in a way that has no words. Please. Please, Cynthia. I love you.”
At that final declaration, she brings her hand back before hurling it toward me. The minx means to slap me. I grab her delicate wrist in my grasp and drag her to me, cupping her head with my free hand as I bend low to capture her lips with mine.
Tears wet her face and drip down her chin as her other hand balls into a fist to strike me in the chest. Such delicate blows, such adorable fury. I take her anger, her ire, her hurt. I soak them in as the penance I must bear.
Soon, she sags against me, pressing her body to mine as her lips move in a hungry fashion. She’s kissing me back. My heart soars as I wrap my arm around her waist, keeping her close as I continue to hold her other wrist aloft.
“Ahem.”
A soft clearing of the throat permeates my brain. All senses come to high alert as I pull back and look toward the door. Cynthia sways against me, drunk on need and lust as I take in a sight I hoped to have never seen.
Henhaven stands in the doorway, arms crossed as he studies us. He says nothing, but then, he doesn’t have to. Behind him, my friends stare, their expressions a mix of emotions. I know in some ways, they’re happy for us, but in others… the scandal alone is very ill-timed.
Cynthia raises her head and looks over, gasping as she sees the audience. In desperation, she tugs at her wrist, demanding I set it free. I oblige, unwilling to cause her any more distress.
“Henhaven!” she cries out. “I-”
He holds up a hand, cutting her off. “I see.” That’s all he says. With a turn on his heel, he walks away, leaving me to hold Cynthia as she finally breaks down.
“What were you thinking?” Robert snarls. “Here, where the whole Ton could have borne witness? Are you mad?”
I gather Cynthia in my arms, shielding her from the righteous anger. “I love her,” I finally answer, unsure of what else there is to say. “I could not let her marry another without her knowing the truth.”
My friends shake their heads, thankfully keeping further opinions to themselves. They stand guard at the door, making sure others don’t come in.
“You know our wives will know of this,” Benedict sighs.
“I don’t doubt it.”
“There will be no consoling them,” he chuckles.
“Naturally.”
“We will now be held to such a standard of declaration.”
“Indubitably.”
Robert grunts under his breath. “Speak for yourself.”
At that point, Henhaven comes back in and sighs as he glances at the men. “You understand that I can no longer go through with this wedding, right?”
I tighten my grip around Cynthia’s shoulders as she sobs into my chest. “I am aware.”
“I will keep as quiet as I can, but London will talk.”
“I understand that as well.”
“You really do love her?” There’s an odd softness to his tone, one I cannot define.
“I do.”
“Then I hope you two are happy together. I will write tomorrow to withdraw my betrothal. You are free to marry.”
He turns again and walks away, leaving us all alone. My heart nearly skips a beat in my chest, leaving me weak and shaky. I can finally have her? I can finally have the woman I’ve dreamt of?
The men shake their heads and leave as well, and I go with them. “Clean your face, my love. Wipe your tears. Tomorrow, I will go and make you mine.”
I stride out with the others and come back into the ballroom. Their wives stare at me, their mouths slightly agape. With another sigh, I give them a bow. “She’s in the library and can use your comfort.”
The gaggle waste no time hurrying across the ballroom in an elegant, yet hurried fashion. I know not what they’ll talk about, but right now, it’s the least of my worries.
“You know this can turn very bad very quickly, yes?” Robert says, insisting on being the voice of reason.
“I do understand that.”
“And you know, if you are not given a special license, you will have ruined that girl for anyone else.”
“I understand that as well.”
“Then what the hell were you thinking?” he seethes.
“I was thinking I couldn’t let the woman I loved more than anything slip away. Tell me you all wouldn’t have done the same thing.”
I look at each and every one of them, taking in the determination in their gazes.
Robert, too, finally concedes. “We all would have done the same. I suggest we quit this ball while tongues are not loose in the Ton’s skulls.
There will be more than enough talk once they realize the wedding is not to occur. ”
He’s right, unfortunately. Turning to Joseph, I take his hand and pull him close. “You will keep her safe and from scandal. Yes?”
“I will do everything I can while she’s still under my roof. Even keeping as much of this from Teresa as I can, though she is quite adept at needling.”
“Thank you,” I say as I give them all a grateful nod. “Thank all of you. Soon, you will all dance at my wedding.”
“Yes,” Benedict smiles. “But we’d rather dance happily at your wedding. There’s a difference. Now leave. We shall gather our wives and follow shortly.”
I make my way out of the ball and into my carriage. Though I’m so very close to having everything I’ve ever wanted, I know it can all be snatched away even more quickly. Now, more than ever, I must work carefully and swiftly.