Chapter 33
Charles
“What in God’s name were you thinking?” my brother roars as he slams into my study, no doubt awakening every member of staff in my household. The fury emanates off of him in almost visible waves. Certainly didn’t take long for word to get back to him.
I set my quill down and look at him, my gaze hard and unflinching, refusing to let him intimidate me. “Whatever do you mean, brother?”
“Do not play stupid with me,” he hisses. “You think I wouldn’t find out about this?”
With a heavy sigh, I lean back in my chair and study him. “It was Robert, wasn’t it?”
“It doesn’t matter who told me. If they hadn’t, you sure as hell wouldn’t.”
“And why would I?” I demand as I rise and thump my fists on the desk. “Why would I tell the one man who despised her more than all the others?”
“What are you bloody well going on about?” he sputters, his eyes wild as his gaze roams my face. It’s as if he has no idea what I’m talking about.
“Duty this. Know my station that. Marry someone worthy of the Barrington name and Norhaven title. Sound at all familiar?”
“Yes. I did say those things,” he says, not an ounce of regret in his posture or tone. “I meant them as well.”
“And you have no change of heart now that you’re married to Anne?”
He leans forward and snarls. “What does she have to do with any of this? You will do well to keep my wife’s name far from your lips. She’s a duchess. No higher rank unless you count royalty.”
“Yes,” I seethe, “but she wasn’t originally a duchess.
Your wife was a nobody. No rank. No class.
No peerage. Nothing. And you married her without a second thought.
Marriage by compromise as well, if I remember correctly.
And even before you knew she was a duchess, you dallied with her, thinking her no more than a ladybird you bedded and wished to have wedded. ”
His nostrils flare as he reaches forward and grabs the collar of my shirt. Blackness encroaches on his gaze as Alpha fury threatens to take hold. “You will never say such things about my wife again. My mate is more than worthy. If you knew half the things she went through-”
“Why should I care about that?” I roar as I twist his hand, forcing it off of me. “Why should I care one bit about what she went through when the only thing you bloody well cared about was title and rank when it came to my desires?”
He backs up and holds his fists by his side as he takes in several breaths before speaking again. “You were just newly appointed a duke. You had no idea the responsibility-”
“I had a responsibility to my heart, God damn you. I had a responsibility to the woman I’ve ruined over and over again in every way that mattered to her very soul, even though it would have still kept her eligible for marriage.”
“How dare you,” he roars. “Playing with her affections? Bringing scandal upon this house? What haven’t you done?”
“As if you’re so pristine,” I spit back.
“I am in all the ways that count. And for the ways I’m not, that is between me and my maker.” In a flurry of movement, he stomps away from my desk to pace the room. “You don’t think of anyone but yourself. How selfish of you. Such is the plight of a second son, I suppose.”
“Selfish of me? Oh. Oh no. How selfish of you. I looked up to you, idolized you. You’re my big brother, the legacy of the Barrington household. Your speeches of duty and honor were my cornerstone. They followed me into battle. They forced me to cast aside the one woman who was made for me.”
“I never asked to be your idol. I never demanded you put me on so high a pedestal.”
“You didn’t have you. By being you… After Father died, you were my North Star, my guiding light. Anything you said in passing became gospel to me.”
“Blasphemy!” he barks out.
“No, what’s blasphemous is the hypocrite I see standing before me, judging me when there is but an enormous tree shooting from your eye. How is it that you and all my friends are allowed their happiness, regardless of rank, and I am not?”
He turns from me and crosses his arms, ignoring the main thrust of my argument. “You could have found happiness elsewhere,” the arse mutters.
“Oh? I could have? Really? Says the man who fell for a woman he met one time at the Rose and Thorne?”
“She was a duchess,” he hisses, turning back to me.
“You didn’t know that at the time. Hell, you didn’t know that for many of your illicit trysts,” I counter. “How long did I have to hear you moon over her, wondering where she was and how to find her? All the while, I had to hide my desires, my affections for fear of earning your displeasure?”
“And this is how you combat that? By bringing scandal to this family? Anne and I were thrown together by the Queen and Prince. They sanctioned our marriage. You stole an engaged woman. We are not the same.”
“No,” I reply, swallowing down the rest of my anger, doing my best to keep my tone neutral.
“We are certainly not the same. I look at a person’s heart and not their rank.
I know the type of woman Cynthia is. I know her to be kind, generous, and honest to a fault.
Hell, man, how can you deny her when she grew up under our very roof?
She is this family. She belongs here far more than anyone else ever could. ”
He rubs the bridge of his nose as he plants the other hand on his hip.
“And you felt the proper way to do this was to bring scandal to our doorstep? Forgive me for repeating the very obvious problem lying within your argument. If you thought of anyone other than yourself, you would not put us in this predicament.”
“No. If I actually thought about myself and not you and your lofty ideals, I would have married her far sooner and saved us all this heartache.”
“Do not put this on me. I never forced you to reject her.”
“No, but you didn’t encourage our union either.”
“I didn’t know she was the one you went on about, mooning through the halls like a love-sick calf. Had you confided in me, I would have-”
“You would have what? Spouted some more nonsense about how she’s the daughter of a baron? Such rank is far too low for a new duke? I need to think about my status? You knew then and denied me.”
“So this is my punishment now? Scandal? Be warned, brother, it is not me who will be burned. Not you either. No. It will be your sisters. They will bear the brunt of it. And with their coming out next year… And poor Cynthia. If word of this gets out, she will be the one to suffer.”
“Do not pretend you actually care about her. You never have. Such pretty sentiments, such concerns, are beneath you. Our sisters, I can give you grace for. But not for Cynthia. Never for her. Besides, I have it all well in hand. I have, of course, a plan.”
“Oh, a plan,” he mocks. “Which, of course, involves marrying the girl.”
“Of course it involves marrying her. I declared my love for her. Would be out of the question to leave her to the Ton.”
“Then what is this brilliant plan? Come. Speak it to me so that I can find error with it.”
“Just like you do every little thing. Nothing is ever good enough for you, is it, Lewis? You must find fault with every little thing.”
“Damn right, I do. When it comes to protecting this family, no one can do it as well as I do.”
“Your hubris will be your downfall. Mark my words.”
“Just as your lusts will be yours.”
“Leave.” I growl, “I do not wish to see you.”
“Very well. I will stay away. But if anything happens to your sisters-”
“Our sisters.”
“Our sisters,” he amends. “Then I will be holding you completely responsible.”
“As expected from someone like you. Be sure not to graze your head when you leave. I know you travel on so high a horse.”
Lewis growls under his breath and leaves, slamming the door behind him. I shake my head, weary as everything catches up with me all at once. To gain a wife, I lost a brother. Never did I expect this to fracture my life. Honestly, I should have known.