Chapter 11
Chapter Eleven
Arabella ate her breakfast alone. As she did, she expected that such a state of being would become something she would grow used to.
Not that I am not used to it. Were things any better under my father?
She supposed that they were not, but that was the entire point.
Still, she struggled to comprehend how she felt about her husband’s actions. On the one hand, she ought to have been thrilled. Was he not giving her everything that she wanted? Her own life, freedom to do as she pleased, and total control of her fate? It was all she had ever dreamed!
On the other hand, she could not escape the feeling that she was missing out on something.
Putting aside how coldly the Duke had treated her just now… No, not the Duke. Calling him that gives him power over me. That ends now.
Putting aside how Caspian had treated her just now, and even since they met, she was so sure that there was more to him than he let her see.
He had saved her, after all. And not because he had no choice, but because he had seen it as doing the right thing.
She needed help; he offered it without pause, and in so doing, he proved he was a good person.
The smaller moments also plagued her. If he was so cold, so uncaring, why would he have assumed guardianship of his nephew and married her so that she could help raise him?
That suggested that he did indeed care about others.
And those few moments when he had dared to let his guard down, when he had looked at her as a husband ought to a wife, she had seen something else: not a desire to be left alone and ignored, but a desperate want to be seen and appreciated as all people surely did.
He is not as he appears… There is more to him than he lets on, I know it.
But then the question became, what was Arabella going to do about it? If anything.
She might have spent the whole morning on that thought, but as she ate alone, she caught sight of movement coming from the doorway of the breakfast room. She thought it was a trick of the light at first, but then it happened again.
Arabella looked up and frowned at the doorway. She listened, she watched, and then she smirked when she saw a small head peek out from around the corner, only to duck away quickly.
“I see you there,” she said lightly. “You are not very good at hiding.”
There was no response, but she did not hear footsteps hurrying away, which told her that Timothy had not moved; he still lurked in the waiting.
Arabella was still confused about the Duke—no, Caspian!
But she could not deny that he was keeping his word.
For that reason, it behooved her to do the same.
He had married her for one purpose, and if she were ever to learn more about her husband so that she might know how to proceed with him, she needed to keep the promise she had made.
Also, maybe in this, I will not be nearly so lonely…
“Gosh, there is so much food,” Arabella said loudly. “I do not think I will be able to finish it all on my own. Whatever will I do…” She made sure to be looking right at the doorway.
Slowly, a little head poked around the corner. Just their eyes, and the moment that they saw her looking, they ducked back.
“I will have no choice but to throw it away,” Arabella said as if to herself. “I only wish there was someone here to share it with.”
Again, those eyes appeared, and this time, they did not vanish so quickly. They were so big and curious, but she could see the hesitancy within them. They watched her intently, a hint of mischief behind them too, waiting for her to do something else… Maybe an excuse to disappear again.
“Oh, what a lovely view.” Arabella turned in her seat and looked toward the window. It ran from the ceiling to the floor and offered a beautiful view of the back garden. “Perhaps I will spend the day outside.” She pushed back her chair and walked to the window, keeping her back to the doorway.
There she stood, pretending to look out the window, while turned just enough so that she could see out of the corner of her eyes. And sure enough, the moment that her back was turned, Timothy stepped into the room.
She smiled to herself as she noticed him creeping toward the table. She stayed perfectly still, careful not to make a sudden movement. She acted as if the view from the window had her full attention, and all the while, Timothy crept closer.
“Yes, I think a day spent in the gardens is what I want to do,” she said, as if to herself. “I only wish that I had someone to show me around.”
She heard her chair being pulled out, followed by the sound of her plate being pulled across the table. Still smiling, Arabella turned and was not at all surprised to find Timothy in her seat, hurriedly scoffing down the remainder of her breakfast.
Nothing was said at first.
Arabella simply watched the little boy eat.
He was short for his age and skinny. Hair as black as Caspian’s, but with a round face and big cheeks that were colored pink.
He shoveled eggs and toast into his mouth as if he were starving, but his eyes were wicked, as if he knew that he was doing something wrong.
“I suppose I will not be finishing my breakfast,” she said at last, remaining by the window.
He snapped his head around, frowned at her, and then went back to his plate. “You said that you were finished.”
“Oh, so you were listening at the doorway.” She pretended to be alarmed. “A thief and a sneak. I might have to keep a closer guard on my food and my tongue from now on.”
He grinned with menace as he ate the last bit of toast.
“I do wonder what your uncle will say when he learns what you have done,” she continued lightly. “I do not think he will be very pleased.”
The little boy’s eyes widened, and he looked at her as if pleading. “You… No. You said… I heard you!”
“But you did not ask,” she pointed out and clicked her tongue. “Sadly, I will have no choice but to tell your uncle. I do not want to, but you have left me no choice.”
He scowled at her. “You tricked me!”
“Did I?”
“Yes!”
She smirked at him. “Maybe I did. But that serves you right for watching me as I ate. Really, this is your fault. You ought to be better at hiding.”
“I am!” Timothy turned toward her, and his scowl became determined. “I… If I wanted it, you would not have seen me.”
She scoffed. “Doubtful. You lumber about like a blind puppy, so I doubt that you could hide anywhere that I would not find you.”
“I can!” He jumped up from the chair. “I am the best at hiding. Even Uncle Caspian cannot find me when I do not want him to.”
She rolled her eyes. “He likely lets you believe that. No…” A shake of the head. “I do not think you are nearly so clever as you believe. Sadly, you have left me no choice but to tell your uncle what you have done.”
He scrunched his face at her. “I could hide right now, and you would never find me.”
“That is not fair,” she said. “I have only been here one day. Although…” She pretended to look as if she had just come up with an idea. “To be honest, I do not really want to tell your uncle what you did. And do you know why?”
“Why…”
“Because he is scary,” she said, which made Timothy giggle. “In fact, I wonder if sometimes I might need a place to hide from him myself. Do you happen to know anywhere?”
“Yes!” His eyes widened with the thrill of her question. “So many places!”
“Can you show me?”
“Maybe…” He narrowed his eyes. “No. You will just tell Uncle Caspian. I do not trust you.”
“And you should not,” she said. “What you can trust, however, is that I will happily tell him right now what you did.” She put her hands on her hips and looked warningly at him. “That is, unless you help me.”
“I…” He opened his mouth to argue, but no words came.
“Let us call it a truce,” she said. “You show me your favorite and best hiding spot, and I will pretend that I did not catch you stealing my breakfast.”
Arabella was sure to keep her tone light throughout the conversation. She was never going to tell Caspian, of course, but she had needed a way to speak openly with Timothy. And as she sensed in him one who liked to cause trouble and mischief, she knew that her offer would appeal to him greatly.
Also, she liked to believe that he wanted to show her. As she was alone in this place, she felt that he must have been the same. He did not need a mother so much as a friend, and she would offer him that, hoping he would return it in kind.
“Deal!” Timothy cried, his excitement taking over. Then, without another word, he sprinted across the room.
“Where are you going?” she called after him.
He stopped at the doorway and looked at her with that same mischief that he wore like a second skin. “To show you my hiding place! Come on, hurry!”
Arabella laughed as she followed Timothy from the room.
He was a ball of excitement as he led her through the manor.
It made Arabella smile and laugh because, for the first time, she felt as if she were not alone.
Since the moment that she had walked through the doors of the manor, there had been a sense of isolation that hung in the air, a feeling that she might never truly be happy because the manor would not allow it.
But Timothy’s energy, his enthusiasm and excitement, quickly dissuaded her from that belief. He raced ahead, constantly turning to make sure she followed, and always he smiled, splitting his face in two.
“Where are you taking me?” she laughed as he led her up the stairs, down the hallway, and up another set of steps onto the third level.
“I told you!” He laughed as he raced down the hallway. “My hiding spot!”
“I think that you are tricking me,” she said as she followed close behind.
“I am not. Here!” He came to a sudden stop by a table that sat against the wall. He then looked at her with a wicked grin, his entire body trembling.
She frowned at the table. “Under there? That will not work! I will see you from down the hall. You tricked me.”
“No,” he giggled. “Not the table. Come.” He snatched her hand and pulled her toward it. “Look!” He pointed underneath the table at a ventilation grate built into the wall. “See!”
She studied the grate, biting into her lip. “What are you…”
“Here.” He let go of her hand and ducked under the table. Then he gently grabbed the edges of the grate and, without any effort, pulled it from the wall. It swung open, revealing a small crawl space behind it. “See!” He turned back, his eyes wide and eager. “I told you!”
“In there?”
He pumped his eyebrows and ducked into the crawl space.
Arabella hesitated. While she appreciated that he was showing her this most sacred space, she wondered if it was worth it. The crawl space was rather tight and undoubtedly dirty. What happened if she became stuck?
“Come on!” Timothy shouted from behind the walls.
“Fine.” She sighed, and with no choice, Arabella hoisted up her skirts, crouched beneath the table, and entered the crawl space.
It was bigger than she had imagined. As soon as she slipped her body inside, it opened to a space roughly four feet wide and another three feet tall. Not large enough to stand in, but she was able to fold her legs and sit comfortably.
There were cobwebs everywhere. Every layer was coated in dust. And the smell was musty and old. But Timothy crawled onto his knees and opened his arms wide to show off the space, and never had anyone looked so proud.
“What do you think?” he asked her.
She looked around them. “How often do you come here?”
“Not often,” he admitted sheepishly. “Only when I…” His brow furrowed, and he suddenly looked upset. “Only when I want to be alone.”
Arabella very nearly asked him why he wanted to be alone, but she shut her mouth quickly, thankful that she had the sense not to press the point.
Although she knew little of Timothy’s circumstances, she knew that his parents had died within the last year, so she could only imagine how much such an awful situation affected him.
He was so bright, so excitable, so full of life! But it was a cover, a way for him to ignore the pain and the sadness, likely pretending that it did not exist. That was until it did.
Arabella’s heart broke just a little for the boy, and she wanted nothing more than to pull him into a tight hug and show him that she was there. But she refrained from that, as she knew they were not that close yet.
This right here was a good first step, but there were still so many left to take.
“I love it,” she said brightly. “This is…” She looked around the crawl space and nodded approvingly. “This will do perfectly.”
“You will not tell Uncle Caspian?”
“No,” she said. “This will be our little secret, I promise.”
The little boy beamed, and she laughed. She was still alone in this marriage, but her world had just grown that little bit larger. And if things continued in this way, then maybe her life here would not be nearly so bad as she had thought.