Chapter 20
“Wait.”
Dominic looked at Verity as she sucked in a deep breath. Praying her cheeks wouldn’t flush, she forced a smile. “I’m not tired yet. Would you care to join me for a nightcap?”
He tilted his head. “It’s near dawn.”
“I know. I think I danced too much. Or not enough,” she added lightly. “Only one glass. In the library, perhaps?”
Glancing at the footman they stood by in the front hall, Dominic fixed his gloves before offering her an arm. “Very well. A glass in the library. Is a fire stoked?”
“Yes, Your Grace. A small one. We can assist, if you like.”
“No need, I can manage it. Come along, Your Grace,” Dominic added to her lightly.
Her heart pattered as she hurried over to his side, eager to join him and relax.
The evening had been going well for the most part.
She enjoyed a ball. There was much to listen to and talk.
Not only had she been able to gather some decent gossip, two of the young ladies had also delivered information to her as well. She had almost too much to write about.
But that could wait until morning.
Besides the gossip, she’d also had a lovely evening with Dominic. Their plan was to show London they liked each other. And now, she was starting to believe that was the truth.
I don’t want to be a fool. But there is something between us. I can feel it. Like we are two cards leaning in on each other, about to topple over. What happens when we do tumble over one another? Could it be something good? He makes me…
The thoughts were too unfamiliar for her to know where they led. All she knew was that she wanted to try them. She wanted to have that time with Dominic. To talk to him. To get to know him.
Every time they talked, she learned a little more.
His parents had created a tense home, one he obviously didn’t wish to maintain based on the way he supported their union.
He spoke perfect Italian and had once purchased a villa only to realize his mistake a week later and sell it back, knowing he might not return.
She felt certain he would return for a holiday if given the chance.
He cared about the estate and she particularly had learned that the sunroom was once a favorite of his mother’s.
Every piece of information created a bigger picture. They filled the book inside her mind that she wrote of her husband, piecing him together to create something whole.
“Verity?”
She blinked and smiled as he offered her a glass of brandy. “Thank you.”
“What have you done?”
“I’m making us seats.” She looked down, beaming at the pile of pillows. “Haven’t you ever sat on the ground like this?”
He raised an eyebrow. “I can’t say I have.”
“It will be rather undistinguished but I believe you will survive,” she announced primly before sliding down to lean against a chair while seated on several pillows. “See?”
His gaze slid over her from head to toe. Those dark eyes caught on the brandy glass and then her bare feet that she quickly tucked under her skirts. “I do see. Very well. I suppose I had best join you.”
“Please do.”
They had pillows and wine and a warm fire before them. The flames cast a golden glow across the entire room. She inhaled deeply before relaxing. Everything felt softer. Warmer. She was sleepy but not exhausted. Her limbs were relaxed and she felt awfully cozy.
“You are an empress of your own empire wherever you go,” Dominic murmured before sipping his drink. “I believe you control a room without even trying.”
Turning to grin at him, she told him, “I think I would know.”
“You should.”
“We can’t all rely on our charm,” she teased back.
“I have no charm.”
She shook her head and the room spun for a moment. Maybe she had drunk more than she recalled. Her grip on the glass tightened as she steadied herself. Dominic was still looking at her as she said, “You have wit and gleaming eyes that read as charm to every lady no matter her age.”
He leaned forward with a certain degree of eagerness. “Do you think so?”
“I also think it’s not as effective as you think.”
Harrumphing back against the couch while she stifled a giggle, Dominic studied her a moment before smirking. “It worked well enough for you to marry me.”
“I was told it was going to happen, remember?”
“But you made the decision, remember?” he echoed.
Her cheeks flamed. Hastily she replied, “Oh I chose this marriage for my own reasons.”
“Not because of me?” He leaned forward, pushing back one of the pillows away from between them. It suddenly seemed to make the distance between them disappear. She didn’t know how he was so close to her now.
“Not at all.” She meant to pull back but couldn’t seem to move her body.
“But I was a benefit of the marriage.”
She licked her lips without thinking and caught his gaze lingering on her mouth.
There was that quick wit of his he rarely brought out.
But when he did, oh, it was devastating.
She could hardly think straight. She had only a little experience flirting, mostly because she had a way of immediately getting flustered.
And now…
“Verity?”
She blinked. “Hm?”
“I lost you.” He tilted his head with his voice growing softer and deeper. It made her think of caramels heated by the palm of her hand. “What are you thinking about?”
Could I tell him I am thinking of him, wondering if he tastes like caramels?
She felt warm and light-headed with the drink and fire. The ambiance was a cocoon wrapping her up tight in safety and relaxation. But she retained enough of her thoughts in the moment to know she needed to change the subject.
So Verity said the safest subject she could think of: “My family.”
There was a slight delay as Dominic inquired, “Are they well?”
“Yes. Yes, I saw most of them tonight. We’re very fortunate, I have been thinking, to have had each other.
My mother passed when I was eight. My sisters hardly remember her now, but my brothers do.
I find myself often caught up trying to share memories they don’t even have…
Strange, isn’t it? Our mother was more mine than theirs. ”
Shifting to be a little closer, a little better facing her, Dominic watched her carefully. She could feel his steady gaze. It was a grounding force as she let her tongue speak freely.
And he helped her along. “It is a hard thing to lose a mother.”
“You lost yours, too. And your father.”
“They were not as much the losses as you seem to have faced,” he said gently.
“Our father was a difficult man. He was a very controlling man. Cassian fought so hard to be different from him growing up, and now I fear he will turn into him somedays. And Lucien is simply scared of growing up.” Verity bit her lip. “I shouldn’t say that.”
Her husband was quiet for a minute before he told her, “I won’t say anything. Your secrets are always safe for me.”
Eyes widening, she looked at him and found herself trusting him. There was something about that dark gaze of his, so steady and alluring that she was drawn in. She leaned forward slowly without being able to turn away.
“I like to have secrets,” she admitted. “But I think it’s possible to have too many. My father had none. My mother had so many. Losing them changed everything for us. It complicated everything. If Cassian didn’t…”
“Didn’t what?”
She inhaled deeply. “If Cassian didn’t have Uncle Will, I don’t know what we would have done.”
If she had been paying more mind, Verity might have noticed how Dominic stilled.
She took his silence as an invitation to go on.
Her tongue felt loose and she couldn’t resist to opportunity to offload the weight on her shoulders.
She pretended it was gone, out of sight and out of mind, while always knowing it was haunting her.
A lump formed in her throat as she went on to say, “He was a good man. A good uncle. Cassian didn’t know what to do.
Our father was so controlling he wouldn’t let him learn anything.
To suddenly inherit so much was so hard on him.
Uncle Will stepped in and he protected us from trouble like lenders and liars and other schemers.
He protected our family name, he made certain we had better tutors and clothing and…
He taught me to love reading, to love writing.
We would spend afternoon tea quoting Shakespeare together.
It still hurts knowing every day he is no longer here after all he did to help us, to care for us. ”
“I cannot imagine the pain,” Dominic murmured.
Eyes burning, she could hardly see straight anymore. Though she meant to drain her glass so it wouldn’t be in her hands any longer, she realized he had taken it and set it down. It was already empty.
With such strong emotions already clutching Verity, she had to say just a few more words.
Just so Dominic would surely understand.
“He really was a good man, Dominic. The best uncle. My siblings and I loved him and I know he adored us in return. I… I just don’t understand how we lost him. He was a healthy man.”
A healthy man. She thought about this often. Or she used to, before her gossip journal consumed her time and a surprise marriage came into place.
Inhaling, Verity stammered through her explanation, “If anything, he was always urging us to take better care of ourselves. He was up and going to suddenly suffer a heart attack never set right with me. But the pain has lingered so long and I know I should be finished mourning, but it still hurts. I just wish I’d been able to say goodbye, that we’d made time for a viewing or… Does that make sense? Dominic?”
She was wiping away shy tears, scrubbing at her face, when she realized he wasn’t about to say anything. For some reason she thought he might.
Silence settled between them. Between her blurry vision, she realized he wasn’t looking at her. Her husband’s face was turned away into the fire.
Exhaustion swept over Verity. That had to be it, because she didn’t understand why she would feel a new tension in the air otherwise. She sniffled, wondering if she had complained too much. Neither of them said a word of it as she rubbed her eyes.
“I’m sorry,” Verity said at last, feeling guilty and embarrassed.
Too many emotions swept over her to stay in control any longer.
Tears filled her vision and this time she couldn’t make them stop.
“I shouldn’t have rambled. I ruined this evening.
All I wanted was some time alone with you somewhere quiet.
After such a nice ball, it should have… I’m terribly sorry, Dominic.
Perhaps I drank too much. I don’t usually.
Drinking makes me sentimental and sad, you see, and I try not to think about sad things like Uncle Will.
Only… losing him after our parents felt like I was losing everything. And it hurt so terribly.”
Her next breath was ragged as Verity crumpled in on herself, wishing she didn’t feel this heartache. Wishing she was alone. Wishing she hadn’t said a word to Dominic.